Humor from my Uncle

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Egraine, Jun 29, 2017.

  1. My uncle sent me this in an email today. I thought others might enjoy it:


    Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older -

    #9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

    #8 Life is sexually transmitted.

    #7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

    #6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

    #5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

    #4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

    #3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

    #2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

    #1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.

     
    QuintusZ likes this.
  2. Sounds like experience talking...:)
     
  3. My uncle is notorious for 'groaners'. His parishioners are used to his jokes which generally make me roll my eyes and shake my head. I think it must be an epidemic among the clergy, because at my church all those who wear vestments seem to also be afflicted by what I call the "LOL bug".
     
  4. Being from Saskatchewan we probably also caught the infection...
     
  5. Oh yes, Saskatchewan is definitely going to make you vulnerable to this syndrome, LOL. Let's face it, when no matter what direction you gaze in and there seems to be no horizon in sight, odd things are going to happen in the old brain. I myself am also out on the prairies, but the thing impacting the way my noggin misfires are those darn Chinooks. Yes, it is nice to get a break in the cold winter, but no, the migraine the Chinook causes is not any fun a all. Sort of like, "Brrrrrrr and ouch!!!!!" all winter long.
     

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