How To Pray For Non-believing Spouse

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Apologia, Mar 10, 2014.

  1. I need some help with this one. For those of you who read my post a while back in the marriage/relationships forum, you know that when my wife and I got married we were both not saved and I became saved in April of 2013 and my wife remains unsaved (she thinks religion is a cult and the bible is a good 'story' if that gives you any idea of where she's coming from).

    She recently got interviews for her internship to complete her doctoral program and the places where she may end up are all over the country. Today, however she received an email with an internship interview in Illinois (our home state, we currently reside in Phoenix). Nothing would make us happier than to move back to Illinois and she doesn't know whether or not to accept the interview because unlike the others, she would have to fly back home this Thursday for a face-to-face. Now, do I pray for guidance because this also involves me, as a believer? How do I approach this?
  2. Ask her, as your wife, to settle down and watch 'The Passion of the Christ', or 'The Son of God' with you to truly understand. I have a feeling she doesn't know anything about what Jesus did, said, and had to go through, so having her watch one of those films with you might make her re-think things. They're both exceptionally good at portraying what really happened.
  3. She used to go to CCD and church/church groups when she was a kid and young teenager. I already tried to get her to watch the bible mini series a while back with no avail. She wants nothing to do with any type of religion, especially Christianity. All I can do is pray that God softens her heart and that she starts to see Christ through me as I now walk with the spirit.
  4. She must try get an internship in Pheonix. If she has truly tried and can't, you need to make a move there. She is not being unreasonable / dishonest / manipulative. There is no reason to not support her as a husband. Marriage > comfort sacrifice. Provided you can still get a job there and support the family of course. Send your cv out asap once it has been decided. Only move when you have a job. Take a long holiday there to go for interviews. Get a flat there for your wife.

    The only ''Christian issue'' I see is that Christians get the short end of the stick. You need to be aware of 50/50 in all things, or else it will eat at you.

    Be a good husband. No reason to be otherwise, just because she isn't saved.
  5. Pray that God would lead you to where you need to be! Just pray, worship, and see where He takes you. I would definitely pray for guidance for her, that she would have confidence in her interview and that you can have the strength to support her selflessly. How exciting! I was exactly like her as an unbeliever. When you say "especially Christianity" yea that was me.

    I always pray that God would give someone peace and that He would reveal Himself to that person. In all situations that require prayer-- I ask for His spirit to be revealed. Maybe she will start to see design in you guys life's circumstances! Glory be to God!
    Apologia likes this.
  6. My hubby is not saved. He doesn't even believe if god but I keep praying and the other day we had a discussion and he said "ok if there is a thing as god let him show me something, give me a sign" and to our surprise when we went to the mall, came out and on the car window was a little cars with the word Jesus on it!! Isn't god wonderful!! Just keep praying and always ask for guidance for the both of you, because you two are one. Until your wife gets saved just pray for her. God will not guide you wrong, pray for him to lead you in the direction he wants you to go according to his will.
  7. Wow that's awesome!
    magdalena likes this.
  8. Hey Brian, whoa bro, looks like you've got a tough row to hoe.

    I agree on the need for prayer, personally, if it was me, I'd be reminding Father about what He said about believers and non believers being yoked together, especially in marriage, light and darkness and any other Scriptures I could find, however I wouldn't pray for your wife to have peace, because any peace outside of a saving relationship with Jesus Christ is a pseudo peace, but rather that she would not have any peace or rest until she comes into a saving relationship with Jesus Christ, the reason being if she's at peace she doesn't need Jesus, she will be happy with what she has, but if she doesn't have peace and rest then things will get kinda hairy for her, ...which will be like painting a big bull eyes on your back. Paul teaches us husbands to love our wives like Jesus loves His church and gave Himself for her, so when the heat is on you, you're the reason for everything going wrong in her life, you will have the excellent opportunity to respond to her in the Spirit and love the way Jesus would, ...remember, she knew you and how your were before you were saved, when shes sees the difference that Jesus and living in the love and power of the Holy Spirit makes in your life I'm certain she will see the real deal and want the same thing.

    Something else, Jesus told us that unless you bind the strongman you won't be able to go into his house and take his goods Mark 3:27, so I highly suggest you find some mature men or elders, or ask your pastor in your church, explain your problem and start meeting with them in prayer for the salvation of your wife, also, not only will your wife be a problem, but the enemy doesn't want to lose another one of his subjects so don't be surprised if your world gets turned upside down too, memorize, believe and stand on Rom 8:28

    And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

    you're probably going to need it.

    Oh yeah, you said she is turned off by religion and Christianity, so no tracts, verses, etc. in your acts of love, ...sending flowers, candy, romantic dinners, going shopping with her (I know that's a tough one), being really interested in her likes and interests, maybe a romantic weekend somewhere she would like to go or maybe a week vacation, I'm sure you get the idea, ...turn off the Christianese (remember, you and the elders are fighting the battle on your knees in prayer) and when the inevitable question arises as to why you aren't hounding her to go to church, come to Jesus, you just answer her, "Honey, I believe I'm going to be raptured any day and I want to be the best husband you can have and make you happy, ...for as long as I'm here with you."

    Blessings and may the Lord bless your marriage,

  9. Well that's a good point about the peace thing...never thought of it that way. But isn't that kind of trying to control an outcome? Would we just pray for the person we love to have peace anyway and just know God will work things out for the good?
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  10. That's a little harsh. I mean yes by any means be upfront, but it's not as bad as it seems. His wife might not be saved but he is. My hubby is not saved doesn't believe in god. But you just keep praying, it's not as bad as "on your knees fighting a battle". Yes you are fighting a battle but you are not fighting it alone, remember god wants his child back and he is fighting alongside with him. No elders are doing to be of much help, they are only human. The way I see it is just pray keep faith, remember father god is right there listening and acting on your behalf. Be patient and pray. God will do what he wills when time is right. Keep in mind god is powerful, much more so than satan. Eventually your wife will come to god. God will move in her heart. You won't lose this, god won't allow it. He's fighting with you and on your behalf. Smile and know that god is working!!
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  11. Dear one, there is no true peace outside of God, in our unregenerated state we are the enemies of God Rom 5:10, as enemies we first have to make our peace with God Rom 5:1 before we can experience the peace of God Rom 15:33, then after we have the peace of God comes our joy, first there is peace and then we experience the joy Rom 15:33. The joy of/with God is what keeps our needle in the center, whither it be bad or good situations or circumstances, it is our joy that keeps our eyes focused on Jesus John 17:13, because of His peace John 14:27.

    Yes Father wants his wife to come into the Kingdom, but at the same time He will mature Brain with this situation to prepare him for other tests that will come to pass in the future, who knows what ministry might develop for them as a couple from this testing?


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  12. Beloved, have you forgotten how bad it was for you the moment the Holy Spirit illuminated your lost condition and you knew/realized you were destined for Hell, ...for me that is a moment in time I have never forgot, a memory burned into my conscience that can only be erased by God Rev 21:4, Paul says, it's the love of Christ that constrains me, the Love that called out to me, the Love that saved me from my debauchery and resultant destiny of going to Hell that motivates me to take the state of a lost sinner very seriously.

    There is a principle in the OT, one can put to chase a thousand, two ten thousand, if it was me in the place of Brian I would want all the help I could get to help me pray and fight this spiritual battle for my dear bride Luke 11:21, isn't that why we are part of a church with other brothers and sisters to help us, ...please remember, lone sheep are easy to pick off.


  13. ______________________________________________________

    Good testimony!
  14. It wasn't bad for me at all. It was beautiful! I was so grateful and relieved to know the truth. Yes, it's burned into my brain and I love to remember the day I got saved.
  15. No. I don't recall it being bad at all. I remember having the best feeling in my heart. I remember feeling gods presence and love Nd the happiness I felt knowing he will never leave me and I have him to turn to. He's never failed me since!!
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  16. Precious sister, I'm so glad it was that way for you, Praise the Lord for you, but you must admit you recognized your state as a doomed sinner when you asked Jesus to save you (from what?), when you were born again, ...some are saved by the knowledge that God loves them, others have to be held over the fires of Hell Jude 1:22, 23, ...for me, because of the atrocities I had committed I sunk even deeper into sin and debauchery, Jesus had to reach down to the bottom of the septic tank of humanity to pluck me out, I then had to be literally dangled over the fires of Hell......., why, because of pride, I got religious, was very active in my church, had many ministries, ...but not born again, ...I was trying to clean myself up, gain righteousness with my good deeds, all to no avail, so in His wisdom, Father let me work until I was exhausted Matt 11:28-30, and then He uttered that Divine fiat, "Let there be Light," and I saw, knew, realized (Gen 1:2) that all of my religious works were just filthy rags next to the righteousness He demanded to be with Him in Heaven and I was still on that wide road to Destruction, ...that very night I was born again.

    That is the advice I gave to Brian, try to win his bride to Christ with love, but if and when it's necessary, then the dreadful truth must be told, ...and only the Holy Spirit knows when that is necessary to be spoken for that person's salvation. That is also why I suggested he meet with other brothers to pray, during the times of pray and worship a word of knowledge may/can come for him/them to follow.

    In His Love,

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  17. magdalena, Praise the Lord for you too dear one, I'm glad your birth wasn't painful, ...Father knows just what is necessary to bring each of His children into the Kingdom, but the fact is Jesus Christ came to the world to save sinners 1 Tim 1:15, Mark 2:17 and to receive salvation we have to recognize our need to be saved from something, that is Hell, so whether it was softly speaking in one's heart or dangling over the fire, all of God's children know what we have been saved from.

    In His Love,

  18. Hi Gene :) thank you for sharing that. I accepted Gods gift of grace in the same moment I realized I needed a savior. I think that's a good way to describe it. I did feel terribly relieved knowing I escaped hell-- I literally came to believe in one night, in a moment it all came together for me. :)

    I pray for unbelieving people in my life all the time-- that they would be saved as I wAs-- that they would hear. Sometimes it feels... Fruitless... Because I am not sure if we are predestined to be saved or what.. Idk. I keep dong it. I desperately want my dad to be saved I love him so much. I know we are not supposed to get discouraged but I cry myself to sleep sometimes thinking about him in the afterlife. I can't help it.:(
  19. _______________________________________________

    My neice had an alcoholic father. It was so bad, my sister thought about divording him, and even her kids were agreeing with
    her. My neice was now about 17 yr old, and her dad had been an alcoholic all her life: she never remembered him sober. Funny how she would just address me as "Uncle"; but when she needed advice or prayer, she called on "Brother Villa".

    One day she came to our house crying: she had reached the end of her rope, and she didn't want her dad at home any longer.
    Her, mom, and her two brothers and sisters were very tired. My wife and I hugged her, and told her we would teach her how to pray for "daddy". Two scriptures came to my mind. On reads: "The son can do nothing of himself, but what he sees the Father do; for what things soever He does, these also does the son likewise." The second scripture that came to mind is, "Let there be light: and there was light." So we called upon the NAME of the Lord, we asked the Lord to first have mercy on us and make us
    be worthy to call on His NAME. We asked for forgiveness, and thanked Him for is faithfulness. Then we stood together as His children and "saw" that God spoke and created the light "...that lights every man that comes into the world." Then, as His children, we began to declare light into the darkness that was filling Octavio: and we began to say: "In the NAME of Jesus: Octavio A___, 'Let there be light!' " We stood in the breach until we received a confirmation in our spirits. I don't remember how long we stood there praying: but it was until we started rejoicing in the Spirit. We told my neice to keep proclaiming light over her dad, and to pray with her mom and siblings in like manner.

    My sister had been a Christian for about twenty years, and had always served the Lord with her kids, but without her husband.
    It wasn't much more than a month when decided to "visit the church"; and not much longer when he was led to the altar by a young lady. He has repented, the NAME of Jesus was invoked over him in the waters of baptism, and he is filled with the Holy Spirit. All the glory belongs to the Lord...He is faithful.

    That was over twenty years ago, and Brother Octavio remains faithful to the Lord.
  20. Ya got it sis, every born again child of God knows and realizes they were destined for Hell , the choice was presented before them, it all came together in a moment, ...and they chose to receive Jesus John 1:12 as their Lord and Savior.

    I know what you feel, I have two daughters in the States that I'm praying for constantly, one part of me wants the Lord to rapture His Church and another part of me says no wait, my daughters aren't on board yet, ...I encourage you to keep reminding Father that He said He doesn't desire that any should perish and also that He is into saving families.


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