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How to overcome sexual Lust

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Flavio, Mar 22, 2015.

  1. Here's a subject that is always controversial: sexual morality.

    Most people today see it as harmless but I don't, it's a major sin against God and I know it.

    I don't want to get into details but until recently I was extremely promiscuous and thought that sexual sin was just an old prejudice from the Church. But even before I turned to Christ, I was unhappy and felt a growing emptiness inside of me.

    The problem is old habits die hard. Things have improved but I sometimes still think of going back to those errors of the past... And then I feel guilty because I know that God knows our thoughts and I'm offending Him :(

    Prayer is a major help of course, but what else can I do? How do you keep chastity (yep, I'm not afraid to use the 'c word') and stay away from these thoughts?

    (A cold shower, maybe? Loool Just kidding)
  2. Take captive every thought... all sins begin with an idea... capture it before it takes root. Avoid the triggers, which pretty much ends TV and Movies after 1965. Replace the images in your head with the blood of Jesus. When the image pops up, with your mind's eye, see yourself painting over the image with the blood of Jesus until you see nothing but blood. One that is friends with the world is the enemy of God.

    1 John 5:3-4 (KJV)
    For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous. For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, [even] our faith. ​
    Where is the Messiah, Arrie03, Flavio and 1 other person say Amen and like this.
  3. Some of the most "adulterous" people in the world have never touched a women. As Jesus said, "if you lust after a women, you have already committed adultery with her in your heart." Being able to abstain from these things means nothing. This is what the religious people of Jesus day thought. Jesus set them straight when he told them that cleaning the outside of the cup does nothing to the inside. First clean the inside of the cup, and then the outside will automatically be clean. The outside referring to our actions, and the inside refers to our thoughts and motives. If you give the Devil a place in your life by thinking on the wrong things he will come in and cause you to be tripped up. The lust of the flesh will always be with you as long as your physical body is still alive. Overcoming these lusts can only be won by you keeping your heart set on the things of the Spirit of God. Sometimes we become curious, so to speak, and peek over the fence to see how we are doing, there by opening the door to be enticed to go back to what we left behind. Don't do that!
    Major, JG27_chili, Arrie03 and 1 other person say Amen and like this.
  4. It helps to remember that lusting after someone is at it's basis treating that person as an object, and not as a child of God.
    It is terribly disrespectful of that person, and if they knew your thoughts they would very likely hate you for it.
    Remeber that you will have to explain every errant glance and lustful leer, kinda takes the fun out of doesn't it?
    Flavio likes this.
  5. Guilt and shame don't work otherwise we'd all be perfect by now. God isn't looking for behavioral modification, but heart transformation.
    Where is the Messiah, JG27_chili and Flavio says Amen and like this.
  6. As was once said, the first thing that happens when you try not to think of pink elephants is that you think of pink elephants.

    I suggest that you replace both the non edifying thoughts and the associated actions with those centered on the Lord and Christian fellowship. Avoid circumstances where you are tempted. This does not mean become a hermit. It may mean to socialize in gatherings of several people.

    As you learn better ways of interacting with others and lose the habitual misuse of sexual stimulation, you may become better able to handle a close relationship with a women. At this point, the enemy will be sorely testing your resolve.

    By the way. I believe that the relationship of a husband and wife is one of the strongest basis for upstanding Christian life that can withstand and grow even when faced with hardship. I believe that the hand of the enemy is shown in the use of the slang word for the physical expression of that union the most offensive word in the language, stripping that expression of all that is holy, and loosening the bonds between man and wife. The enemy then worked in man's hearts to make that word on their lips constantly as an epithet.

    The fact that the enemy works so hard is an indication of how powerful the proper union of husband and wife is and how the enemy fears it.

    But that union is a result of the Lord binding two lives into a unit under His power. An expression where there is no life commitment blessed before the Lord is an empty expression.
    Flavio likes this.
  7. Thank you so much for your wise words guys, they really help.

    Yes, I agree that a change of heart is essential and sins begin in the mind. Discipline is the keyword there, like Abdicate said - I'm always trying to find strategies to overcome temptation and keep it as far as possible.

    I don't watch tv anymore and when I moved to my new home I didn't even buy a tv set.

    And I stopped going to Europe in the Summer to avoid the usual places (it's probably a bit radical but I don't want to take any chances).

    It's scary to think that most people are headed to hell (narrow is the road...) and even scarier to think that Lust is the #1 reason why they go there.
  8. In peace:

    Specific sins are not the reason for going to hell.

    Lust, as in all sin, is a symptom. If all lustful persons suddenly became chaste and made no other change in their lives, their eternal destination would not be changed. If all lustful persons truly accepted the Lord's payment for their sins, even though they were powerless to overcome it, their eternal destinies would be with the Lord.

    So sin isn't the reason pre-se.

    That said, it IS a symptom of man's self centeredness.

    There are two wrong ways to deal with sin in your life: The first is to think that it doesn't matter. The Lord died for our sins, so let's sin more so that His grace may be multiplied.

    The second wrong way to deal with sin is to think you are unworthy of Christ's blood and that He doesn't and couldn't love you. You merit is not the issue. His sacrificial love for you is.

    I am not saying this to nit-pick your post, but it is an important concept. Victory over sin takes the power of The Spirit. It is His battle that you must let Him win. You must believe in yourself as well as Him enough to tough it out an know that He loves you.
    Flavio likes this.
  9. Treat females like they are your sisters. Do you have any blood sisters? Would you lust after them? Ew...of course not.

    You only want whats best for them. Dont get above yourself and covet those who belong to someone else. We may be weaker vessels but that doesnt mean we arent sensitive to a man trying to defile us. Reserve your passion for the one who will be your future wife and ask God to show you who that will be. Im saying this cos in your case it is better to marry than burn. Bible also says we ought to keep our own vessels pure, and know how to possess them. Dont let satan get a foothold, if he is in there and any demonic, sensual thoughts, just cast them out in the name of Jesus.

    Sometimes fasting can be in order..good you doing this. Keep being cleansed by renewing your mind with his Word. Book of Proverbs is good for wisdom. get wisdom.
    Flavio likes this.
  10. My opinion is the more time we spend with Christ, the more victory we see in our life. The less time we spend with Him, the more chance for victory of the sin. Lol that rhymes.
    Flavio likes this.
  11. #11 LysanderShapiro, Mar 23, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2015
    A cold shower isn't necessarily a bad idea if it works. When St. Francis was tempted to sin, he rolled around in snow. St. Benedict threw himself into thorn bushes in order to avoid falling into temptation -- he didn't do it because he was a masochist -- he did it because he knew dealing with that pain would be far better than sinning against God.

    A cold shower, if it works, is good. Any way to avoid sin.

    The Rosary was a great way for me to overcome this specific sin, mostly because your mind, your hands, and your voice are occupied on something holy while praying it. And sometimes, if it meant getting out of the house on a bitter cold day, I did that too.

    Women are just as overcome with lust as men, but speaking from a man's perspective, one of the things that has allowed me to fall into temptation in the past was boredom. If I was bored, I was more vulnerable to sin. And this is how it is for most men -- boredom can be a dangerous thing. So one of the most effective ways to avoid temptation is to avoid boredom altogether. Do something! Whatever may be stimulating to the brain like something creative or cleaning/re-organizing.

    Of course an oldie but a goodie for fighting temptation is quoting scripture. But my advice is to be active while doing it. Don't just lay down and quote it because your body is still idle. Get up and run or clean or get out and run some errands while quoting Scripture. Leave no part of yourself idle.

    I guarantee you, count these activities as blessings from God, because they can be used to fight off sin.

    The signature I use is also something I love to quote. I recite it when I know Satan could grab me in a half-nelson...and the last thing I want is to give him the satisfaction. I'd rather tell him to drink the poison himself if he is just so damned desperate.
    Flavio likes this.
  12. Amen brother!
    Flavio likes this.
  13. Any vice is usually a symptom of something else, and that is 100% the need for fellowship with the Lord God. We are all born to worship the Lord and when we don't (even as unsaved people) there's literally a God-sized hole that cannot be filled except by God Himself. We attempt to fill it with food, alcohol, shopping, TV, internet, forums, but the satisfaction is only derived from a close personal intimate relationship with the Lord God Almighty! (Speaking to myself) Imagine what the world would be like if the time spent on all these futile attempts to fill it were spent in the presence of God.
    Major and Flavio say Amen and like this.
  14. You have the power to talk to yourself. So do it.
    Flavio likes this.

  15. Ephesians 5:3 speak out loud and unto yourt self. Let your inner ear hear your words.
    2corinthians 10:5 take control of your thoughts unto Christ
    romans 12:2 live like this
    Galations 5:16 so you can live like this...
    Normally I write all the scriptures out but since it is you that needs to get this into your system I will let you look them up. I recomend the KJV and any other easier to read version.

    The only thing hard about overcoming this is..........taking the first step and is always going to be MAKING up your mind once and for all to make the choice to STOP doing this and tend unto the ways of God..........It gets easier after that.....
    Flavio likes this.
  16. #16 Francis Drake, Mar 27, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2015
    We need to recognise where most the unclean thoughts come from, otherwise we are most likely in for a life time of permanent struggle, failure and guilt.
    Satan is alive and well, daily trying to draw any and every person into unclean thoughts, followed by unclean actions. As has been pointed out, merely abstaining from external sin, doesn't deal with the struggles and feelings of uncleanness within. Its like scrubbing and whitewashing a pigsty, whilst the pigs are still living there.

    If in the past we have indulged in promiscuous sex or any other sin carnality, then we have opened the door for demons. I speak from biblical truth and from personal experience. Those demons don't just just run away when we start following Christ. They might keep their heads down for a while, but then as soon as they can, they start pressing your buttons again because they live closer to you than your family.
    That's why so many good christians fall into sin. They have never dealt with the demonic stuff. Often this is because they have been taught that demons can't touch Christians or indwell them. Having cast demons out of many brothers and sisters, and seen massive change as the inner thoughts and tormenting passions stop, I know that demons can still have mighty power over christians. That is until driven out in the name of Jesus.
    If you are unfamiliar with demons and deliverance, I advise reading your way through all the references in the gospels and the NT writings. Then maybe look out some good books on the subject. However, there is nothing like just rolling your spiritual sleeves up and determinedly commanding them to leave in the name of Jesus.
    Remember that you have been raised above them and are seated in the heavens in christ Jesus. The demons are positionally under your feet. However in far too many christian's lives they have been allowed to reign and direct affairs.
    Flavio likes this.
  17. When I was going to college, I was working nights as a janitor (Sears called the position 'night porter'). The store maintenance manager used to have centerfolds pinned up in the room where the brooms & mops were stored. I was a young man and also young in the Lord. Opening the cupboard where our cleaners were kept was a trial at times. When I first started working, I was taking photography and considering the lighting and other technical features helped surprisingly well in times where my baser desires crept in. I am sure that the HS was strengthening me. I had also discussed this with close brothers in Christ, so I was strengthened by both their counsel and their prayers. After a few weeks, these pictures became 'commonplace' in the sense that my eye did take notice anymore than anything else that was usually there.

    The point is, that you should let the Holy Spirit use whatever He may in your life to help you overcome temptation.

    In Matt 6:13, we are told by the Lord to pray that we not be led into temptation, but we need to do our part by not running toward temptation. In fact, we should know the He would never lead us into temptation. This prayer is to focus in our minds that sin is fought by removing temptation from our thoughts and actions.
    Flavio likes this.
  18. I couldn't agree more.

    Yes, demons are very much real and I've witnessed their works countless times in the recent past. You don't have to convince me, I know they're real.

    A few years ago, I was severely oppressed by demons and for several months I was completely obsessed with feelings of revenge. I wanted to get rid of those feelings, I knew they were destructive but I simply couldn't.
  19. Are there any specific scriptures that we can use to combat lust if the thought strikes us, or we tempted? Just want to be armed and ready.

    I have had problems before with men lusting after me, i dont encourage it, but just want to know what can make it clear to another guy that its wrong. I mean for single ladies especially. Married ladies can just show them the (ring) finger.
  20. Flavio, that is wonderful you started this opening sharing of lust that seem devil's weapon of choice to bring down men of God. I do not have much victory on this area, along with Gluttony. I agree the weakness of both are symptoms of something more serious. This is a real challenge, I guess for both men of women without love and physical intimacy. Not too many people have the gift of being single like Paul. Not sure why it is so difficult for God to send someone into us the singles' life. May be that is another God's special training in patience and abstinence, for what...I really have no idea.

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