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How to keep children away from sin

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Unregistered, Dec 6, 2009.

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  1. How to keep children away from sin

    I let my 16 year old daughter visit one of her friends from school. My kids aren't home schooled or go to a Christian church and I have never had any problems like this in the past. She spent the night with her friend and smoked Marijuana, drank, and had boys over. All of this took place with her friends parents knowing. I was shocked to find out that her friends parents also smoke Marijuana. These are people I've known my whole life and I had no idea they were like that. They don't attend my church and I figured they must attend another church somewhere else.

    My daughter came home and told me about it. She told me that she had fun and when I asked her to pray about it she said she wasn't going to pray because she felt she did nothing wrong. I also found a bikini her friend had let her borrow without my permission and she now has this idea that Marijuana should be legal and has even taken her money from her bank account and donated it to some group called NORML. When I looked at their website I was shocked and hurt. I went to these peoples house to confront them, and they said they didn't see anything wrong with it. They thought I would be happy to know my child was supervised instead of them going out and getting drunk at a party! My child doesn't go to parties in the first place!! I also found out that her friends mom is a witch. I had no idea even after living around them all of these years.

    How do parents who follow Christ deal with people like this. I refuse to let my daughter go back over there but I can't be in control of what she does at school. She's 16 and will be an adult soon and I'm afraid this incident has harmed her spiritually.
     
  2. This is a tough one to give advice on. I am only 22, therefore I can't give much parental advice being that I am not one myself. I can say though, if you "force" anything upon her that it will more than likely push her even more away. If you try and control her life, it will make her want to repel from you even more. This is a tough time and you must let her know through this process that you do not approve of her actions BUT you still love her as much as you did before this incident.
     
  3. I'm only 20...well, soon to be 21. I don't know exactly what you are going through. And you may not take my advice because I'm so young, but it must hurt you so bad. This is your child and of course you're going to be hurt over this.

    Sadly, we are all sinners. My best advice to you is this: Keep being persistent. Don't get down on yourself when your daughter gives you a battle. Keep being PERSISTENT. "No, you can't go." Let her know that you aren't trying to be the "bad guy." Let her know that you are doing this out of LOVE. Just like God treats us. He doesn't like us doing stuff that we shouldn't be doing. He's our father. Let her know that she IS loved.

    If we focus too much on the negative, a lot of kids will think that you just hate them. So be strict, but also let her know other times that you love her SO much.

    My parents failed me in that department while I was being abused. And I felt like the "bad kid." So please, tell your daughter you love her every single day. I'm not saying you don't. But keep being persistent. Keep laying down the rules. "You are not going to do this." Your daughter probably won't listen. I guarantee you that she will not listen to you. But that doesn't give you an excuse to give up! Keep at it. You are the parent here. She's your child.

    16 year olds...it's a tough age. Psh, most teen years are a tough age. haha. But please, just keep being persistent. Don't give up! And Satan will try to bring you down! Keep at it <3
     
  4. When I said that my child didn't go to a christian church at the top of the paragraph I meant a christian school. My child very much goes to church and always has. I just realized I made a typo. They go to a regular state ran public school like most children go to. I've never had a problem with my child straying from her teachings until now. Most of the children at their school belong to Christian families.

    I can't make her think a certain way or believe a certain way. I have tried to instill the values of Jesus into her but she will soon be a woman and at 16 she is forming her own opinions. I am afraid that smoking and drinking will open the door to sex and other drugs. I understand that at her age sex is something that normally happens but if she chooses to have sex I want her to at least be in love and her boyfriend lover her as well. I don't believe she will remain a virgin until marriage. I wish she would but I can't control that aspect of her life. The thought of her going to a party, getting drunk, and then being used is unbearable.

    She never acted like this until being introduced to her friend's home environment. It is such a different environment than ours and I can see how she would be drawn to that lifestyle because she is young and wants to have fun. She has also told me that she supports gay marriage because she says God loves everyone and doesn't feel it's a sin. We live in a time where people are accepting sins as being normal and they even think it's mean to try to stop sinners from sinning. She may be a product of this generation and it's political activism.
     
  5. explain to her,satan controls the unsaved to trap us.these people might look good to her,people controlled don,t have stickers on there heads saying only here to hurt you.explain why we need God to keep us from the evil one,she needs to know friends don,t get used aggainst you.
     
  6. "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6).

    Yes, this is a tough one, and to say "Just trust God" may seem like a cop out or a generic answer on my part, but that is exactly what you have to do.

    I can relate to your daughter in this sense . . . My parents raised me in a good Christian home with good Christian values and taught me good Christian morals. However, when I was a teenager I rebelled and strayed from that teaching. I strayed, and it took me a while to come back to what I had been taught. But, I did not depart.

    God had His hand on me the whole time. I didn't really know that then, but I do know it now. I imagine that my parents wanted to give up on me many times, but they didn't. They just kept lifting me up to God in prayer. At times it was difficult (almost impossible) for them to trust God, but they did.

    I strayed a little, but I did not depart. Keep praying for your daughter. Keep reaching out to her. Keep loving her. She may be straying a little, but she will not depart . . . In Jesus' Name.

    God will NEVER leave her or forsake her (Hebrews 13:5).

    You are all in my prayers.
     
  7. :smiley70: unregistered , you are your daughters main stay role model and guide , you should not allow her to continue to go over to this friends house . Influence is a major motivator in a young adults life . If you validate the words and instructions written in scripture to her it would be very important during this time :smiley30:

    :smiley40: keeping you and your daughter in prayer and praying Jesus will be her main role model to follow and that this negative influence in her life will be ceased
     
  8. I do not believe that her friend or her friends parents were entionally trying to hurt my daughter. They are very good people regardless of their personal choices. I do not believe they are only here to hurt my daughter or other people. To look down on people who aren't saved is not a Christian thing to do. My church doesn't teach that Satan controlls people just as God doesn't control people. People control themselves but when they aren't Christian they will act as a non Christian because their values are different and no one has taught them the way of Jesus. Christians model our lives around the word of Jesus Christ and Jesus was a very forgiving and loving man. He did not judge or look down on people just because they did not believe in Him.
     
  9. Unregistered Good people who dont believe in Jesus Christ may have some sort of world values like smoking marijuana and they may not ever personally hurt your daughter ,but you can rest assured smoking marijuana will :smiley20:
     
  10. Unregistered I can see both sides here ....For I used to smoke Marijuana when I was with my first husband....until I meet him I had no idea what it was ...or what it did to you... But I will be truthful, I did really enjoy getting high....
    It took away a lot of things I didn't want to deal with and I thought it was fun.
    But that was quite a long time ago.... and I was not saved or had i been bought up in a Christian family.... You have to trust yourself here, that you have taught your daughter the right values of being a good Christian and the right way to live.
    Then you have to place this in God's hands...I have found that most people who smoke dope or drink a lot of alcohol do it to cover up a lot of horrible things that may have happened in their pass.....Pray for these people and pray for your daughter sometimes we cannot fix things on our own we have to stand back and wait on the Lord to fix the things that are way to big for us.... I will also being praying for your daughter and these people ....love Jane
     
  11. I have no clue why these people smoke, drink, or do whatever else it is that they do. Some people use drugs as an escape and I know that as for Marijuana people use it for fun too. I have people in my family who smoke it. They are considered the "black sheep" of the family but I know that they have nothing else going on except that they like getting high. A couple of my cousins started when we were kids and are now 50 and are still apparently doing it. My daughter knows about Marijuana. She went through classes at school that taught her and we taught her about it as well. She knows my cousins who do it and sometimes we even drink wine at our house. My children have never been allowed to drink it and in our house we don't agree with drug use. I don't know if my daughter will ever use it again or not. I hope not but I understand college is coming up soon and it may come up at parties or other events. I can't make those decisions for her.

    I wanted to know how people keep their kids away from these sorts of things. There comes a time when they have to be let go to become their own person. It would be wrong and mean to never let them see friends or go out with a boy to a movie. I believe it's important to give teens some freedom but not the freedom to do anything they want. I am not going to let her go back to this girls house but I have decided to let her come here but I am going to tell her that there will be no smoking marijuana, drinking, or having boys over at our house and if she's here she will have to follow those rules. As for donating money to an organization that supports legalization I don't know what to think. I encourage my children to stand up for their beliefs regardless of what they are. I hope she doesn't become one of those people who support legalization of Marijuana but it's all over the news and I know she sees it.
     
  12. your absolutly right unregistered ,she will see it ,and yes there are a lot of people jumping on the band wagon to get marijuana legalized . There is much to the history of medical benefits regarding Marijuana , and for the most part if it helps keep sick people well that I have no problem with . The problem with it is most young people who smoke it are simply doing so for the high ,and it has been proven to be a gateway drug that leads to other worse drug use .

    How to deal with this problem is not going to be easy , however if you consider what can happen later if you dont deal with this now , it could end in a tragedy :smiley70:
    believe it or not even 16 year old's will do as they are told to do if made to . Lecturing does not usually work in these type of problems . It will need to be the foot goes down and the backbone goes up , expect a battle :smiley130: you simply need to forbid it ,and state your reasons for doing it and make certian she comprehends disobedience has consequences
     
  13. I forget the most important part :smiley100: silly me :smiley10: you can never actually keep your daughter away from sin or drugs or anything else , but what you can do is educate her about the problems with drug use and that alone may not be a big enough of a turn off to turn her away from it , if she has never accepted Jesus as her personal Lord and savior then that is where to begin , next is to teach her to RESIST the sin's of the flesh smoking drinking , and all sexual sins apply . Show her the scriptures , read it to her and ask her questions , begin to be her suport system against it and continue to validate the importance of obediance to Jesus Christ regarding sins of the flesh , tell her she really does not ever need to fall into all the self inflicted Nonsense that destroys the body which is the TEMPLE read her the word ""know yee not that you are the temple" let her know just how serious God see's sin and what it costed God to offer a pardon for sin
     
  14. Your Responsible to raise up a pure vessel

    Hello UnRegistered,

    Peace be with you in Lord Jesus Christ.

    I am sorry but you have abdicated your responsiblity as a parent and you need to repent.I also would like you to know I am not being harsh, but firm, because I care about how your daughter grows up, I want not one of His babies to be lost to the enemy, but I also have a care for you as a parent and your home, for it to be as it should be in Christ, so you can be the Christian family He created you to be. And that you home be a Home of God, where He resides always.

    We are not parenting according to this world, but we are parenting unto Lord Jesus Christ. I have just been through the 16 year olds going astray syndrome by my son who is now almost 18. He is not into drinking, drugs, alcohol nor girls or dating, he wants to wait until He is given the one Lord Jesus Christ has for him. But it is those online games, amne and dvds that have new age, masonic, occult and eastern philosophy teachings in them and his addiction to the Internet that has been a huge problem, such as him being on the net for up to 48 hours straight without sleep. And I listened to Lord Jesus Christ, and He gave to me my son will be mature at 24 so until then, he gets parented and guided. My son has disabilities and one of them is development delay, although he may look his age, there are things he is not emotionally mature in. My son now knows that he has problems and is now in agreement with me. He now is turning away from what he should and being the anointed young man Lord Jesus Christ created him to be. And Lord Jesus Christ is giving to him a replacement for all of these things, he is to learn to make those online games and do Christian ministery through them. because all of them have these false beliefs in them that is flowing forth through to the multitude and they need deliverance.

    You need to remain firm and not be moved. Where is your faith in the belief that Lord Jesus Christ can keep your daughter out of these situations, or can shine through these situations by giving her good Godly counsel. Where is your faith, that He can give you the instruction and life giving water to lead your child unto the way she is to go, and parent her at all times, because she is still your child, and His Child and she is not an adult as yet. Drugs is against the law. And I know the nightmate a Christian Family is having because they did not parent their children from the age of 12 in the faith, with no guidance, and wow they are still living a nightmare. One of their children is in their twenties, and caught up into heavy drugs etc....and keeps getting into trouble. The man was recently convicted in his heart for not being responsible in parenting and repented. But the years of damage this has done to their family, woah. They all need healing along with deliverance and that is what they are now getting but it is a very hard and difficult journey out and their children all give them cause of concern still in their moments and all of them are in their twenties.

    You also need to be open with your daughter and tell her the truth what drugs do. Drugs is a weed, and the enemy plants weeds in a good soil. The weeds grow up alongside the good seed, until harvest time. And before the weed gets taken away you get to see what it produces, which is not pleasant an experience. Drugs and their moment euphoria replaces the anointed flow of Lord Jesus Christ's, Holy comforter and presence, and is a poor substitute for God's love and it is idolatry. Not to mention polluting and defiling her body. Having Fun can never ever replace Lord Jesus Christ's Joy or to have His perfect love bring forth the Holy Comfort that is needed. As for giving money out to organisation etc... she will be without that money and one day it will hit her, what she supported and was willing to support.

    You also need to talk to her about witchcraft etc....and these people need deliverance. And this is a doorway for you to be His witness by listening to Him and doing as He gives it for you to do. Before you can do this physically, deliverance needs to happen and those spirits that are causing all of this, need to be laid to rest, and Christ is the one that brings all things including spirits into His perfect rest....Is 14:7 the earth is at rest and they break forth into singing. You need to speak the truth to your daughter, for where truth is not flowing freely and can not be told fully, blocks result and then people get stuck into bondage and then can't get out of it and need Christ's deliverance. The door for you to be His sent witness in all of this, needs to be open for you in His anointing , and this family reached.

    From our own experience, what is happening with my son, an opportunity has come up for him to purchase a house, and he is almost 18. We will see if they will hold off selling it for three months until he is 18. He really wants to buy the house we are living in and I would like to help him with this. My son will also continue with his studies,and is learning to draw along with doing animation. And all these animations and online game and electronic games that he was caught up into, will be out of our home, by September 6, 2010 for that is the date that has been set, and that is the date we are all in agreement with, because it is a journey for my son out. The more he lets these things go, the more Lord Jesus Christ replaces it with His good life. I also see these things that once attracted him fall away and die in his life, and Lord Jesus Christ's perfect life come forth in its place praise Lord Jesus Christ amen.

    Lord Jesus Christ did all this through our life, and even though I am physically weaker and smaller than my son, have my own disabilities to deal with one of them being a stress disorder, Lord Jesus Christ still gave me to stand firm in the midst of this and not be shaken at all. Now our home is becoming more peaceful day by day, in His perfect peace.
    Also Lord Jesus Christ showed me through this process to stop using altermatums in parenting, such as if you do this, then you are not going to have this or I will take this away or the go to your room etc....but replace these things with the words, "you need to do this, because it is the right thing to do." You need to do the right thing. And I have, and my son has been convicted of having integrity, honesty and honour at all times and do the right thing.

    Side note: He is only on the internet for 2 hours and 15 minutes four times a week now. He still has trouble coming off, but this will improve over time and he is now started to participate in our little family again.

    Hope this helps and have a blessed day in Christ amen...

    KMSGA
     
  15. [​IMG]


    kmsga right on :smiley90:
    very well stated



     
  16. No one needs to tell me when to repent. I decide that and it's between me and God.
     
  17. Believe it or not the tough years of a teenagers life will not kill the parent or the child , because that is what these young adults are still , in countless ways :smiley100: they really will later on come to you and tell you "THANKS MOM AND DAD " :smiley90: And it is SO WORTH IT. :smiley90: . As a matter of fact your daughters brain has not even reached full maturity no matter that she may be attempting to appear all grown up , this is where many parents fail to realize that their children don't need less supervision and guidance they need more . The teen years are critical years of importance in all childrens lives ,they are searching to be some one and you have more power than you can imagine in the day to day influence that shapes and molds them into well balanced adults , parenting is a partnership with God , you see your children are not just your own ,they all have a Father in heaven who wants only the best for them . If we look at the importance of our role in the right light we tend to take extra special care during the wonder years :smiley90: It is a wonder that I myself survived my teen years :smiley10: I had a very wise grey haired prayer warrior Grandmother :smiley90: what mom and dad could not do GRANDMOM DID
     
  18. Did you ever think that maybe your son is on the internet for 48 hours straight because he doesn't seem to have a life of someone his age? It's not normal for someone his age to not be interested in females. It's not sinful or immoral to be interested in finding a girlfriend or having friends or even watching movies. Again don't tell me when I need to repent. You have no right to judge me as a parent when your child spends 48 hours on the internet because you won't allow them to have a social life. There is nothing wrong with playing games or enjoying life. God wants us to enjoy life and have fun. He just doesn't want us to do things that may harm our bodies or cause us to turn away from faith. A lot of Masons are Christian. The York Rite Masons are Christians! There is nothing wrong with Masonry and the Shriners do a lot of good for children. There are some Christians out there that take it too far. I believe you sir are one of them. I am a very open and liberal Christian and so is my church. As a Christian I am pretty saddened by what you have said and how you describe your child. I feel sorry for your child and I will pray for them that they are able to live a happy, decent, and functional life finding a balance between himself and God.

    Witchcraft is nonsense. It doesn't work. There are no witches and humans have no magical powers nor can we summon evil spirits. I know what "witchcraft" is and it comes from an older religion predating Christianity. I have a masters in history and I know all about Druidism, Paganism, and other belief systems that pre date Christianity. I will not and do not believe in trying to get people to turn from their belief system to join my own. Nothing gives me the right to do that and it would be rude for me to even mention it to them. My church does not prosteltyze as we feel it gives Christians a bad name and causes non believers to dislike us even more.
     
  19. :smiley40: unregistered I believe KMSGA was intending to be a suport system for you , after all you did ask the question of HOW TO RIGHT ?

    :smiley40: I apologize if your offended by "Repentance" and yes you are right it is between you and God ,I will keep you in my prayers . I thought that KMSGA advice to you was very well stated , I am sorry you do not take it that way
     
  20. bretton occupied

    I asked the question of how people keep their kids away from "sin" as in how to keep a teen away from a lot of the temptations they face. I don't want to take all of their freedom away or rule their life until they are 24! That's psychologically destructive to anyone! I'm not offended by repentance but I am annoyed by those who tell people they need to repent as if they have the right to judge someone elses actions. It bothers me when Christians do that because it doesn't help to make Christianity a very kind religion in a non believers eyes. If we want to help people who do not believe to turn to God we can't be rude or judgemental and we surely can't dictate our children's lives until they are 24! Some people have graduated college before 24 and have a career at that age. Jesus Christ was not a strict man. He was kind and caring and understanding. He didn't rule his followers with an iron fist. He didn't use force or coercion to keep people in his congregation. He didn't use fear to make people believe in God. He is the reason for Christianity. He is the only person who matters in this belief system. Why do some people act in ways that are completely opposite of how Christ acted? Those people have given Christianity the name of being a hypocritical and angry religion. We are not hypocrites and we are not angry people who hate others.
     

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