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How to handle family speaking negativity over my children?

Discussion in 'Family and Parenting' started by Effervescence, Oct 28, 2009.

  1. How to handle family speaking negativity over my children?

    I am a HUGE believer in the things we speak over people (good and bad), influencing their lives. We live with my husband's family on their farm, the household consists of my husband's parents, his grandmother and two aunts-and our family of 5.

    We homeschool, so our three girls and I are home pretty much all day, every day. The aunts and grandma are also home all day every day.

    They've always been known to talk about other people on a regular basis, but lately they've really latched on to constantly speaking things over my children. It's not just a here or there thing either. Yesterday, I made a point of keeping track throughout the day, they called the baby (21 months) spoiled a total of 9 times. Sometimes it's said in jest ("_____ said she's spoiled, I told her all babies smell that way."), and other times not so much in jest, and not really to me, just to no one in particular. That's the most minor of things, and I'd really rather not even type out some of the others.

    It frustrates me, because any time I have had any issue with the aunts that I try to speak with them about, they get upset and freak out, because "they don't mean anything by it". That being the case, it's not likely it's going to change.

    I guess more than anything I'm looking for scripture references and prayer support in more or less blocking out the negativity they speak over our family, and for helping me not be upset by the things they say and gossip about-because honestly that has become a problem for me as well.
  2. i have had this problem with my mum for years.she doesn,t say things to hurt people,but she often does hurt peoples feelings,but when approached,cries and the situation comes back on me ,wife or other family members.sometimes she doesn,t think through what she wants to say.the more we talk to her about this,the more she gets upset.i know how your feeling i love my mum,and i know she loves us all.very difficult situation your in,at 1 stage in my youth i had to be away from her,just some space.i wish you all the best in your dillemma.:smiley10:
  3. Blessings siser,

    Here are some scriptures for you to meditate upon. When you feel overwhelmed, just started saying one of these scriptures. Just ignore what people say. You are not driven by what people say; but by the spirit of God. The devil uses words to try and get a reaction from us. Don't give him anything...Just start quoting these scriptures and the devil will flee.

    God bless,

    Isaiah 32:17-18
    The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever. My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest.

    Proverbs 29:25
    Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.

    Psalm 34:7
    The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.

    Psalm 34:4
    I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

    2 Timothy 1:7
    For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

    2 Corinthians 10:3-5
    For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

    The Lord is gracious and merciful,
    slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
    Psalm 145:8

    A soft answer turns away wrath,
    but a harsh word stirs up anger.—Proverbs 15:1

    Good sense makes one slow to anger,
    and it is his glory to overlook an offense.Proverbs 19:11

    Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Ephesians 4:31-32

    Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

    Ephesians 4:26-27, 31-32

  4. Wonderful post and scriptures Godbe4me:)

    It seems like sometimes the more you try to do for the LORD, the more resistence you get from family member's that are not christian. They cannot see what they are doing is wrong because they donot have the Spirit guiding them, letting them know that what they are doing is bothering you.
    It sound like the best way to handle this situation is ti pray to the LORD. Ask for HIS guidence, and you really need to sit down with these family member's with the support of your husband, and have a heartfelt talk with them explaining that these things bother you. Blessings to you
  5. Wonderful Works by Carolyn Larsen

    God created the whole universe by simply speaking a word. He created the massive oceans, mountains, and deserts. He formed the lovely butterfly and the incredible sperm whale. He imagined flowers of thousands of forms and colors, and gigantic red wood trees. He is incredibly creative and powerful. And He made you.

    A popular saying of years gone by is "God doesn't make junk." Believe that. God doesn't waste anything. He made you and His works are wonderful. If other people are tearing you down, ignore them. Believe in your own self-worth. God does.

    For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalms 139:13-14
    Blessings, Cheri
  6. I think the part that hurts and grieves me the most, is that they are Christians.

    Thank you for the wonderful Scripture references and kind words. It always amazes me how far a little support end encouragement can go toward healing hurts.
  7. Self-worth and self-esteem is deeply conditioned and programmed into us as children, usually between 0 and 7 years of age. You are right... if a child is always put down and made to feel worthless, then they will grow up believing they are worthless and only valued if they do "good" things or perform well. And sadly this leads to a person growing up into legalism where they believe God will only love and accept them if they do certain things.

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