How To Distinquish Between False And True Love ( Part 1)?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by 福井舞, Dec 25, 2013.

  1. Hello, instead of launching into bunch of explanations, which I am no good at. And I will probably break this thread into 3, as I don't overwhelm everyone with too much information all at once.

    I will just use examples to illustrate

    Example A

    I know this pastor once, when you first met her, you'll think she is a woman full of God's love. She loves say positive things that build people up. She loves to help people to a certain extent. But the problem is her "loving actions" seem to have a string attached. In another word, she will be loving if you put up with her domineering manner. For example, this pastor has a really abrupt manner. she is one of those people if you approach her with a question, if it is not a convenient for her, she will simply say in an abrupt manner " No, I can't". In fact once I was attending her bible study group, the first thing she asked me was " where is your friend" I told her my friend decided to attend another group, at that point she said to me " No, he CANT" I remember thinking, "who the hell are you to dictate to my friend like that?".

    if you allow her to dictate how "you" should relate to her and her family. For example, she has a son who is a real brat and bully. And if she sees her son bully someone else, she would always approach that person with something super spiritual like "iron sharps iron", in another word, her son is doing "you" a FAVOUR by bullying you, just bear and grin it. And if you dare to point out that you have the right to stand up for yourself, or the fact she only says when her son is involved, and if someone turns around and do to her and her family what her son is doing to others, she would make sure that person is dead, that is when she turn nasty.

    In another word, if you don't live by her rules, then all the love she seem to have for you would turn into wrath, and she would bully you into submission.

    I know many of you will probably will ask yourself, why is he asking the obvious? I am asking the obvious because I have been told many time by this pastor accomplice that " no one is perfect" as a way to explain her behavioural pattern. And I ended up feeling I should be the one that apologise to her for not wanting to put up with her behaviours. And I ended up feeling more confused than ever.
  2. In my humble opinion sir " find another place to go" This person seems only to love on her terms, not God's.
    Ask God to help you find another Pastor.

    On the other hand Merry Christmas. Keep smiling and praising the Lord. God LOVES YOU no matter what :)

    God Bless you
    KingJ likes this.
  3. It is true "nobody is perfect".
    It's also true that jerks are dime a dozen, avoid them.
    From what you have described, she is a very poor example of a pastor.
    Avoid her.
  4. A tough situation to handle.

    The bible has taught me that we should confront another believer, one on one, in the event we se a brother or sister sinning. I don't know if this really sounds like sinning, or just a behavioral situation.

    And yet, perhaps just taking this individual aside, in private, and with love, tactfulness, genuine concern, speaking calmly of your concerns.

    If they don't accept this out of love? The bible then instructs us, again about sinful things, but to get another credible witness to this, and try again. The two concerned genuine believers, take the concerned party in private, and try again.

    Also, pray for them.

    You may find her to really appreciate this, and she probably already knows it's an issue.

    Even if she gets upset, I think it will help, and God will bless you all abundantly.
  5. I know a guy that was used often to preach at ours and surounding churches. His teaching was very good. God blessed him with confidence and brains. However, after his sermons he used to ask me questions like, how many got saved? How many enjoyed his message? etc etc. His preaching was good! But his heart was not right. Today he is an atheist. Well of late...agnostic but atheist to the Christian God.

    He reminds me of your pastor! Jesus said He is meek and lowly in heart Matt 11:29. Does that sound like your pastor? If not I would definitely move on.
  6. hi

    you reply is spot on..

    unfortunately, I think not all who call themselves Christians are truly born again.

    however, in this pastor case, she really is born again, and has experienced God's love

    anyway, I am sure God will repay her for all she has done, not just because what she did were evil, but for her unrepentence attitude....
  7. perhaps God brought you there to help the pastor ..
    everyone can improve somewhere, and all parts of the body serve a function ..
    so God may have chose you to teach her the meaning of 1Cr 13:1-13 ..

    2Ti 4:2 preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction. (most of all using love)

    I ask where is the love if you just label her a meanie and don't even try to help open her eyes ..
  8. the problem is this woman is abusive.

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