How to deal with a stalker ex boy friend? Help...

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by november_rain, Nov 16, 2010.

  1. Hi all,

    I'm married to a great man, we are blessed with a very happy marriage. We have 3 boys and we are blessed financially. Currently we are living in the states.

    Years ago i was in a relationship with a psychopath who did not want me. We met online like 7 years ago. I'm a Singaporean and was living in Singapore back then. He is from the US and is an American. The relationship last for 1yr before i start to drift away after so many stupid judgements he said to me regarding the us visa issue, for ex: I'm using him in order to get a us visa. Which is NOT TRUE. I loved him and at that time I don't care where I would stay long as I can be with him. I have to admit its not easy to maintain a long distance relationship. He made a trip to meet me in Singapore one time only for 1 month. Short story, I terminated the relationship, after he made a confession that he was once sentenced to jail for raping a girl (I believe God has shown his dark secret to save me). Bc of the distance, I broke up with him on an email.

    This is where the problem starts. The next day, I received few emails from his friends saying that I'm nothing but a cheap whore and many other insulting words. I decided to shut off our communication and I completely ignored him. Pretending that he is not exist. I thought I could live in peace and was hoping he has moved on. Until I found out from a friend of mine (who knows him) that he stalked me. He tried to ruin my career he sent email to my previous supervisor saying alot of bad things about me (thx god I wasn't working there when it happens), he called my mom, he sent his friends to call my family, he contacted my cousin and sent him my sexual pic I was made only for him, he contacted alot of my friends and said alot of bad things about me. Oh god, to many unbelievable things he has done to me. He checked on my fb, myspace, he checked on my hubby's fb and myspace as well (and we have set their private security setting extra high, and put his email into our black list, deleted his friends from our list) when he knew that we are planned on moving to the states, he once again made a trip to Singapore, went to The US Embassy, made a report that I shall not getting a visa bc of what I've done to him (eventually I've got my immigrant visa in less than 3 weeks) somehow, he always knows the update about my life. he knows about my kids, and congrats me via email after my 1st, 2nd, and 3rd son was born. I never replied to those emails. so far, HE HAS BEEN STALKING ME FOR 6YEARS AND HE IS STILL STALKING ME UP TO THIS MOMENT. He just doesnt stop and I'm so sick of him, I really hate him and I want him to stop stalking me and leave me and my family alone!!

    What do I have to do, I am mentally tired. My husband has filed a police report. But should I take a legal action? Should I send him to jail one more time? I doubt that a restraining order can stop this man from stalking me. How to stop this man? Pray for him?
  2. Yes you should take legal action, yes you should file a protection from abuse order! Yes you should pray for him too!

    You already know this man has issues with power and violence, you need to be careful! Having an order will not stop him, but it will give you legal recourse should any contact continue. Sending him to jail is not your concern, it is his! I would also change your email address, or any other ways that he has used to contact you in the past. Then be careful and report any attempts at contact to the authorities!
  3. 1. My heart melts for you, this is a very challenging and emotionally draining experience.

    2. Remind yourself of this....God never causes evil, but God never allows any evil to happen unless there is some type of serendipity wrapped up inside it and it can serve God or someone in some certain way. So keep trusting in God to keep you and your family safe, nothing will happen unless God allows it to for a greater purpose. These thoughts will give you peace of mind as you realise God oversee everything that is happening in your and your families lives.

    3. Pass on all information to the Police and lodge a formal complain and seek a restraining order. This man can be dangerous, so don't underestimate that. Yes, you should take legal action immediately, not only to help yourself, but to help other poor victims in the future from this evil man! Let me share a couple of quotes with you:

    "The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein.

    "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil, is for good people to do nothing." - Edmund Burke

    4. Pray and keep praying and say these words, "Father God, thank you for being in our lives and looking after us. I surrender all my concerns over to you regarding this man and completely trust in you to take care off this situation, in Jesus' name, Amen"

    Then move forward with your life and enjoy it, knowing you have legally surrendered and given these concerns over to God and you can trust in God to take care of it, one way or another, He will, in HIS WAY, in HIS TIME.

    5. God bless your heart, I will pray for you as well. You have a whole army of angels on your side who are fully aware of your situation and will keep an eye out for you, remember that, and allow that thought to give you peace. God is wanting you to lean on Him and trust in Him in these situations and that's why God sends trials your way. And if this man is ever locked up and sent to prison, send him a Bible.
  4. I think you need to take legal action. Also pray for this situation. Pray for him, and pray for this situation to finish quickly!
    I'm sorry you are going through that. It's not fair to you or your family.
  5. I'm going to disagree with this slightly. If this man is ever sent to prison, do not initiate contact with him in any way, including sending him a Bible, as this will only encourage and reinforce his behavior. He should, of course, be given a Bible, but it should come from a source he wouldn't connect with you.
  6. Good point Rumely. Send it anonymously or request a prison Minister to give him one. God bless, thanks for your valuable input.
  7. Thanks so much for all of your concerns. as I'm replying to you all, I fear that this man would found out about this thread, it's been so long so it's become so hard for me to eliminate this fear. I feel like I'm being watched and followed all the time.

    Actually, lately he doesn't make any direct contact to me anymore, instead he's using other source to digging up information on me. he has tons of so called online girlfriends in Asia who would do anything he said to stalk me and my family. FYI, this man has asian fetish and is really good in playing victim to those girls.

    He knows I've tried so hard to hide, right now I'm sure he cant find any online information about me and my family anymore. But i found out that some of his "online girlfriends" were getting information from my sister. My sister off course has no clue that people she is chatting with are connected to him. well i have told her about it.

    So can I still take legal action against him when he doesn't make any direct contact with me anymore? And since we've just recently moved to the states, he has no clue that we are here. He knows I have left Singapore to another country but no the us.

    Btw, my father in law is a former special agent in the united states, but he has no clue yet of whats going on with me, my husband hasn't told him yet, he said he is not worry at all about this man as he told me not to, this man actually can only find out very few information about my husband from social networks such as his age and current place, because actually only ppl with high security level who's able to do background check up on hubby. Once hubby said "I'll be happy if he knows where we live rite now and try to contact you, because i will send his ass straight to jail, so let him find out, and if he tries to visit our house, he better read our no passing sign or I will shoot him"

    No matter how secured I am with what I've mentioned above, deep inside I can't overcome my fear, I cant control my anxiety. I believe Jesus will help me but It's hard to forgive this man.
  8. You can still take legal action against him even if he is using associates. I do not know law in Asia, but the 'girlfriends' can be punished for aiding him.

    However, I think the best thing to do right now is go straight to the police and file a restraining order, make them aware, etc. I know it might be difficult, but it's safer.
  9. Thanks for the advice everyone, i will definitely work on getting a restraining order

    To moderators, can you please delete this thread asap

    Once again thanks a bunch and god bless you all. ciao...
  10. Get the restraining order right away.I was so obsessed with a my girl friend 25 years ago that when I found out she was going to marry my friend I did threaten to take her life and it was by Gods grace I was locked up because my mind was so twisted that because of the meth and black magic I was in,I literalley saw her as a god so I thought if I kill her I will find true peace.
  11. That's what happens when demonic spirits influence your thought.
  12. Hey how are you doing?Did you get a chance to go to the web sight?Sense we have allot in commen just wanted your feed back to see if you think what else I should add.Well have a blessed night Tim
  13. I will try to make an effort to do so. God bless your heart.
  14. Remember this always what ever a person has gone threw or has done,God will use these things for his glory all the time.
  15. Hey november_rain!
    Let us know how you are doing!
  16. I'll be praying for you....may Jesus bless and protect you, and may His Healing flow through you. May the Holy Spirit give you comfort and peace which passes all understanding! The Lord bless you!!!!!!!!

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