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How Does One "fully Surrender?"

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Lifeasweknowit, Jan 19, 2013.

  1. A girlfriend and I were at dinner tonight and she told me she had a pressing opionion of my ED (eating disorder). She feels as though I'm not fully surrendering as in letting go, asking God for my help, getting on my knees, crying etc. I told her that over the course of many years I have done that countless times and yet have only recovered once. To my dismay, my ED came back again last year full force and now I am in the position in which I would rather die. Please do not be alarmed, I am not going to harm myself, but I am at the point where I don't feel I can take this anymore.

    My question again is how does one fully surrender? I still feel like I'm not doing something right. I read the bible, pray as often as I can (everyday all day), recently deactivated my Facebook, decided to focus more on God, etc., but still very little improvement. Or when I feel I've got this under control, it comes back on again.

    I don't know what I'm doing wrong and need a miracle.
     
  2. Hi,

    If you have already surrendered to God, He will come through for you. Do not allow anybody to make you feel guilty or worthless. An eating disorder is a serious problem which requires the help of professional counsellors and doctors. All I can suggest is that you seek help and quickly. By seeking help, it doesnt mean you have lost faith in God, often God uses people in our lives to bring about changes. We cannot know the divine will of God, but He has put doctors and other professionals here on earth to help us.

    God bless
     
    Lifeasweknowit likes this.
  3. My dear......it is very possible that you need to seek out a Christian Psycologist. You may have a "clinical" disorder that he can help you with through counseling and even medication.

    We can actually be doing all the things we need to and still the problem exists. That is why seeking out a doctor to help would be something for you to condifer IMO.
     
  4. I am new here, so please forgive my ignorance of your past. I have struggled with weight all my life. Stress definitely is my trigger. I have had to relearn what to focus on; in other words, I tend to focus on the problem-that is what makes me want to eat. I have to focus on the solution instead, when I do that, the stress melts away.

    The solution: Jesus Christ did it all, the work is done, the price is paid. I cannot WORK myself into heaven. So that means even though I detest my flesh, I try to take my eyes of my own flesh and 'look up' to the Lord.

    Do I still have a weight problem-YES. Probably always will. Do I need to clean out the temple-YES. Thankfully I know a merciful Savior we looks at my heart condition first, and not my head or body condition. We are all here for a 'little while'...thankfully.

    Things that help me change my focus:

    Reading the Bible
    Keeping a Journal
    Praying
    Helping others (Volunteer)
    Fellowship often in a Bible believing church (3-4 times a week)

    Hope this can help you a little bit. God Bless...
     
  5. Your friend's analysis sounds like the old "escape clause" of the snake oil preachers. If you don't get the miracle you asked for, you obviously didn't have enough faith, so it's your fault instead of wrong teaching or misguided expectations. I can't tell you why some people are immediately delivered from their addictions or certain issues in their lives in one miraculous moment. I can tell you that I know a lot more people who have had to struggle through their issues than I do those who experienced instant deliverance.

    "Completely surrendering", to my mind, means trusting in and relying upon God. It means that even as I struggle, I know that He will bring me through. Even if I struggle all of my life, He will bring me safely into His presence. Why was Paul never miraculously delivered from his affliction? God was well aware of his affliction, and He didn't chide Paul for a lack of faith or a wrong belief. His answer to Paul was simply, "My grace is sufficient for you." We don't know what that affliction was - physical ailment, persecution, demonic attacks, temptations, have all been offered as explanations. What we do know is that God was aware of it, could have removed it but chose not to, and that it served to keep Paul humble.

    It's hard to struggle alone, and I don't believe we were meant to. We are meant to be in fellowship with one another and to encourage and strengthen one another. Given the nature of your issues, you would do well to seek out a support group that focuses on eating disorders. A doctor or therapist can not only provide you with direct professional help, but can also recommend support groups, resources, and strategies for dealing with your issues. A good friend or two with empathy, wisdom, and strength can be a huge help, but they aren't easy to find.

    A competent therapist could do you a lot of good. I suspect that your eating disorders and your anger issues are related in some ways. A good therapist would be able to help you with both.

    I'm going to stop blathering now and pray for you.
     
    Lifeasweknowit and Major say Amen and like this.
  6. Judge you heart condition. Think of a marriage. If I 'truly' love my wife, adultery is easy to avoid. It takes little to no effort. Likewise if we love Jesus. Love God's ways. Love God's goodness. Love obeying and pleasing God. The flesh and its hold on us will go. That is what putting the flesh to death by the spirit is. We are not under law where we need to put the flesh under with the flesh. We really just need more quiet time with Him. Fasting, cancelling facebook are things that should ''just happen'', ie take no effort and certainly not be steps to get closer to Him. I don't stop praying to idols to fall in love with Jesus, I stop praying to idols because I am in love with Jesus.

    Just relax and calm down. Take baby steps. If you don't have victory over something, you don't have victory over it. If you judge yourself to be in Christ wait on Him for strength. Seek medical help until you get it so that you don't become guilty of tempting Him, if it is a critical condition.
     
  7. G'day... You are not doing anything wrong. Your level of faith is not the cause of your situation either.

    As I understand things, there are some things that can be healed and there are some things that can only be controlled, or minimized. I need to take medications for a variety of things, but there is no prospect of healing.
    I just do my best to medicate correctly and hope for the best.
    As for your girlfriend,..... are you praying for her?
    She is in need of forgiveness and understanding.
    Have you read the book of Job? you will likely see what I mean when you do.
    Meantime, chin up girl, seek help with control of your situation.....you're worth it, and stop looking for miracle cures.
     
    Lifeasweknowit likes this.
  8. @ Major and Kevin: Thank you so much; I actually have been to 4 treatment centers and that is why I am hoping for a miracle.

    @Calvin: Thank you for your kind words. It's confusing being a born again because you read so many things that talk about how one isn't truly a Christian or truly has the spirit in their heart. Then Satan talks to me and tells me that deep down I'm evil, full of sin, vain, selfish, angry, etc., and even though I am known to be a good person with a good heart as feel that I am that way, I still doubt myself in the FACE OF GOD. I am nothing...

    @Rumely: I definitely trust and believe in God, although I do get frustrated at times with the time at which His plan for me seems to be taking (too long in my eyes haha) also I do go to an eating disorder ministry almost every Wednesday night :). My previous therapist told me she could no longer see me after a year and a half of treating me because apparently she wasn't licensed to treat eating disorders. Even though she knew I had one to begin with.

    @KingJ: It is much easier said than done. I do love the Lord. I fear him. I talk to him all the time. I am brutally honest and real with him. I am aware he sees much more in my heart than I could probably ever be aware of myself. I don't think just loving him suddenly heals me. If that was the case, numerous Christians would miraculous give up addictions or sins that hold us back and be almost perfect. It's just not feasible. I hope I'm not misinterpreting your message because it makes me feel as though I do not have enough Love for him. Which then makes me doubt myself as a Christian which is a whole other thing I deal with from time to time because of the nasty things Satan whispers in my ears.
     
  9. [quote="
    @Calvin: Thank you for your kind words. It's confusing being a born again because you read so many things that talk about how one isn't truly a Christian or truly has the spirit in their heart. Then Satan talks to me and tells me that deep down I'm evil, full of sin, vain, selfish, angry, etc., and even though I am known to be a good person with a good heart as feel that I am that way, I still doubt myself in the FACE OF GOD. I am nothing...
    [/quote]
    This is the thing I was hinting at. The Lord does not see you as a failure.......you are worth dying for.........Satan is not.
    There are many...too many people who think that the Lord is a genie who can be commanded to 'perform' to our wants. When they see someone who has special needs, they seem to think that they know it all and that person is an under-achiever. Satan is the accuser of Christians, just as he was Job's accuser. In the end, Job came to experience so much blessing from the Lord and Satan still is waiting for judgment. Satan has already been condemned..and he knows it. watch out for his poison, keep your eyes on Jesus.
     
  10. When we are saved we become new creations. It is against our nature to let the flesh rule. Because we are still living with the flesh and in an evil world we can excuse ourselves for giving into it now and then. What we have to do is judge the extremity of it! and be honest with ourselves. As, if we are continuing in an extremity of unrepentant sin we can lose our salvation or need to question if we were even saved in the first place.

    If your only issue is an eating disorder, you don't need to stress much about ''losing' your salvation or not being a Christian...duh ;). I have a genuine problem with sweets. I can't resist them daily and get fat. I have controlled it for the last couple years. I am now at around 95 kgs. It is not in the same league of rebellion as mentioned in the 10 commandments or below in Galations by Paul.

    It is not just the emotion of 'loving' Jesus, it is walking with Him / in Him. We ''should'' be able to get victory over any stronghold of the flesh! Sure, fasting, dieting, developing good habits, going to rehab etc can and does eventually work, BUT we as Christians can do one better! We can put the flesh under by the spirit. We can go to Jesus for help. Get quicker and more convincing / permanent victory!

    Gal 516-26
    16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. 17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. 18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law (NO necessity for fasting / whipping yourself into shape). 19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, 20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, 21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. 24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. 26 Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.
     
  11. Chritstian's NEED fellowship #1 with the Lord: Reading the Bible, Praying, Meditation, Singing Hymns, (worship); #2 with fellow Christians: Bible Study, this forum is a type of fellowship, talking, playing, singing, working, Christians really need a good church family for support-that doesn't mean everything will always be sunshine & roses.

    Fellowship is the way we live our lives-separated from the world's way...
     
    Major likes this.
  12. This is the thing I was hinting at. The Lord does not see you as a failure.......you are worth dying for.........Satan is not.
    There are many...too many people who think that the Lord is a genie who can be commanded to 'perform' to our wants. When they see someone who has special needs, they seem to think that they know it all and that person is an under-achiever. Satan is the accuser of Christians, just as he was Job's accuser. In the end, Job came to experience so much blessing from the Lord and Satan still is waiting for judgment. Satan has already been condemned..and he knows it. watch out for his poison, keep your eyes on Jesus.[/quote]

    Good advice!

    Being a Christian is not a magic word that delivers you from the problems of this world.

    You are the best thing God ever created my dear!

    Please do not expect God to deliver you from every pot hole in the road. He never promised to do that.
    We will go through pain and suffering and trials in this life. EXPECT THEM.

    The Lord will not deliver you from all of them, but He will hold your hand and walk beside you as you conquer those challenges in your life.

    THINK NOW! If God did deliver us from all challenges........wouldn't that take the joy of living life down a notich????

    We have to work, and do and live and grow! As we do those things, the Lord will bless us and walk with us through life!
     
    calvin likes this.
  13. If I may...

    You do not need a miracle. What you do need is to be still, be patient, wait. Believers do not and cannot do anything that is of God unless the Lord gives them leave (permission) to do so.

    Ephesians 2:10
    10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

    God has ordained whether or not you will get a hold of this issue. Believers are victorious in Christ, and our victory over the world, the flesh, and the devil is dispensed according to the will of God. The mystery is whether or not God will apply a victory to our lives. In your case, your eating disorder. You struggle too much on your power to stop. Instead of over-indulgence, try moderation. Your issue is a problem with your flesh. Your issue is not with Satan, Lucifer, the Devil, etc., but your flesh. And the kingdom of God is not meat and drink, but righteousness peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost (Rom. 14:17).
    As far as your question about surrendering goes...
    Your submission and surrender will not occur unless the Lord Himself makes you submit. And when that day comes...
    You will know it.

    Philippians 2:13
    13 For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.


    His good pleasure, not yours.
     
  14. @jerimiah1five: "And when that day comes...You will know it." I get the feeling im misinterpreting this line because it's coming across scary to me. Could you please elaborate?

    I will respond the the rest, but I have to drive home first. Thank you all
     
  15. In Christianity we operate on God's timing, not ours.
     
  16. Luke 18:1. Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. Luke 18:2 He said: "In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. 3 And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.'
    4 "For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I don't fear God or care about men, 5 yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out with her coming!' "
    6 And the Lord said, "Listen to what the unjust judge says. 7 And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? 8 I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?"

    In Christianity we cry out to the Lord in our affliction.
     
  17. Good point! Agreed.
     
  18. 1 Pet 5:5. Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
    6Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 8Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 11To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

    Satan is only like a lion in the noise he makes. Those he preys on are the spiritually weak and ailing.....that makes him more of a scavenger than a mighty monarch.
     
    Lifeasweknowit likes this.
  19. Lifeasweknowit,

    What is triggering your eating disorder? Is it stresses of everyday life? heartbreak? Low self esteem? the friends you hang out with? I believe it has something to do with this. I had low self-esteem and a problem trusting people because I was molested as a young child. We need to look within ourselves and find the thing that triggers your eating disorder and push through them. You have to believe in yourself and be open about your feelings. Your friend doesn't know how much you are trying or surrendering to the Lord.

    I have gone to doctors and psychologist over my situation with no help. Talking and medications only masked it for me for a short time, but never took my pains away. I had to light the flame within me. Believe in the Lord, things don't happen overnight either. We have to go through our trials and tribulations as we grow and learn to deal with life and the strongholds we have all around us. I turned off the music, TV, radio, internet and listened. He does answer. There are too many distractions in life and many people forget how to listen patiently and stay focused on Him and believe.

    By looking at your profile picture you don't look like you have a eating disorder. I am far from perfect, but I do believe in the Lord 100% as you do. Your zeal says volumes. Like I said; your light is within you. We have to find it and shine and overcome the issues we have. Stay focused and you can move mountains and your issue will shrink. I know it has with me. Silence is golden.

    I believe in you.
     
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