How do you forgive yourself? I got divorced in January of 2006. It was mainly my fault. I was stubborn... I almost feel like something kept blocking me from my true feelings... all I remember feeling is, I want out. We had some issues...perhaps they could have been fixed but I wouldn't even try. I moved 3000 miles away and insisted divorce. I was unfaithful and I couldn't face what I had done. Anyway, here I am over a year later and I can't go to sleep at night remembering all of the pain that I caused. He is now remarried with a child on the way. We have not spoken since the day he got married. He said he forgave me.... but he still says hurtful things to others. I just can't seem to forgive myself. I feel as though I won't be forgiven by God and I am afraid to remarry. I don't want to be the cause of the person I marry being an adulterer according to the Bible. I am so tired of carrying around this pain. I have asked God to take it from me... I have to clear my mind every night and it takes me hours before I can sleep. I feel like Satan just feeds me all of the awful things I have done over and over... I don't know how to beat it. I hate myself for what I have done in the past. How could I have caused all of that pain and become so completely blinded... numb to it??? I was such a strong Christian at that time... and I fell directly into temptation, it destroyed my life.