Lately I've convinced myself that masturbation (the pornographic kind) was actually okay for relieving sexual tension. So I did it more times in the past few days than I have in weeks trying to abstain. Even though I convinced myself it was okay, I still know it is a sin. And my chest/heart area feels hurt almost. I feel dirty, and unclean, not even to God, but to myself! Anyways, I've since asked God again to help me get rid of my sin, not only for what it is, but how it makes me feel! It makes me feel like there is some kind of blockage in my center being, if you know what I mean. I'm almost positive it's the Holy Spirit.