How Do I Get Where I Am Meant, Where God Wants Me, To Be When I Messed Up In The Past?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by jmilly, Apr 28, 2014.

  1. I have never asked this question before of anyone. Partly because I find it embarrassing and shameful. And it relates to my other post, and is the reason I am struggling to find a job.

    I wasn't "saved" until late November of 2012, when I was in school, and the second to last semester was nearing its finish. I had about 2 more weeks of classes before the finals, and then after that just one last semester of graduate school. Before I found God I was a wreck. I was a lazy person who did not try her hardest. I barely tried at all. Life was meaningless and I admit here (for the first time) that i really let everyone down as far as how I was as a worker/student. My family thinks that I was this studious and hard-working, ambitious person but I wasn't. I was depressed and barely did enough to get by. I did the bare minimum, and read the cliffs notes version of the reading assignments (it wasnt actually cliffs notes but it was the equivalent in my field). I am very ashamed of myself. But when I look back on it I think, well if I was saved and a follower of Jesus then, I KNOW I would be a diligent, conscientious student. That's because my final semester I actually got semi-decent grades (not the best - I think part of that has to do with building on what I learned in previous semesters, and since I didn't learn much, my grades the final semester reflected that. My hard, yet joyful work the final semester could only help so much)

    I once saw this 700 Club episode in which this guy was a drug addict / homeless guy, and he found God and became saved and applied for this job, and he said he definitely wasn't qualified, but he got it anyway, even though there were other applicants that didn't share his troubled background.

    But I just don't understand how employers are going to hire me since my record represents how I was before I was saved. I simply am not qualified, and my record shows that I was a terrible student who got terrible grades. I guess I'm trying to ask - I know that if you try and pray and have faith and all that, you can have anything you want - but what happens when the thing you want will be based on your past efforts, on what you did BEFORE you came to know Christ? These employers all ask for my transcript, and once they see it, I know i'll be out of the running. This is part of why I get so depressed

    Does my question even make sense. Please ask for clarification if you don't get the question. I am really wondering about this and have been for some time.
    I obviously cannot go back in time and change it, but if i could, i'd have found Christ sooner, much sooner in my life, not just in grad school but before that! but i am happy I finally found him. I clearly needed him to get through grad school and was in SERIOUS danger of failing.
  2. I am not sure I should even respond here.

    If you don't obey scripture, you won't get anywhere. Stop Disobeying!!!!

    I know saying that may seem like a No brainer, but I find very few with problems that will actually Obey God to be blessed.

    God has "ALREADY" given us all things that pertain to life and Godlineness. Everything is already there, and already blessed with all spiritual blessings in Christ Jesus.

    I suppose being new, you don't even know what God said or even where to find it.

    You don't have a time machine to go back and find Jesus sooner, I get that. None of us have had one. No need for one though. Just obey............ Real simple.

    2Co 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

    When you made Jesus Lord, What happened to all those things you screwed up in the Past? What is the situation now?

    Php 3:13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

    What is Paul telling us to do, what is the most important thing Paul has a revelation on?

    Turn you to the strong hold, ye prisoners of hope: even to day do I declare that I will render double unto thee;
    (Zec 9:12)

    And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you. And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the LORD your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed.
    (Joe 2:25-26)

    Isa 61:7
    For your shame ye shall have double
    ; and for confusion they shall rejoice in their portion: therefore in their land they shall possess the double: everlasting joy shall be unto them.

    In these 3 verses what is God telling you he will do for those wasted years?

    Now write these down, and keep them with you and you meditate on these only. Add a scripture to that list every week and keep going over and over them...................... The light will come on, the reality of what God said becomes more real than the circumstances, and the doors open.

    You are a new creature in Christ Jesus, your old life has passed away, how you operate now is all brand new. God restores double to you for those lost years in confusion, and you will no longer consider the past or past mistakes but walk now as a child of God, favored and blessed of God. If God be fore you, nothing can be against you.

    I really like this one also...................... God will perfect those things which concern me............ (Psalm 138:8) keep it or not.......

    God sent his word to deliver us, there is more than enough power in God's word to change anything, but if we don't side with God or believe what he said.................. then it's like the person who is going to hell, and did not believe on Jesus......

    It's just dumb..................... Agree with God, not the circumstances.

    Now do what I said do.


    Sal likes this.
  3. In my humble opinion, No, your question does not make sense. In one breath you say, "I know that if you try and pray and have faith and all that, you can have anything you want"

    Then you go on to say, but what if this and that.. Look at what scripture says:

    If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt,because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.
    Ravindran likes this.
  4. Thanks michaelh for your post That helps. And you said you weren't sure to respond. Why wouldn't you? Clearly I am not getting it, right?

    Where, I suppose the thing is I am not sure how to phrase the question. I want to clarify that I'm not doubting. I'm simply asking how it works because on paper, things look bleak. But I know that I'm not doomed because I have faith. So I'm wondering how, given the fact that my record speaks for itself, and the people deciding whether to hire me will be making my decision based on that record, formed when I was an atheist, how I can get out of the hole. I'm not asking in a "I don't believe it's possible" way. I'm simply asking as more of a philosophical question.
    A curious way.
    See now you see why I've been refraining from asking for so long? Part of it is my inability to articulate the question.
    Another part of it is because if I ask people I know, they will judge me for my past mistakes. And they don't focus on my question. They will say, well you should've done this or that.
    I asked here bc I figured you all will be more understanding and open minded about this question.
    That probably doesn't help make sense kf it either but hopefully.
    I just wanted to clarify that. I'm not "doubting " I'm simply asking HOW, if that makes any sense.
    Thanks for your responses.
    Where is the Messiah likes this.
  5. "Stop disobeying" huh??!?! I thought I was obeying...

    See this is why I am confused.

    And this is why I'm here asking questions. The people in my church group aren't beginners like me so I refrain from asking many questions. So I need my hand held.

    Why are you saying to stop disobeying in response to my question? Seriously I don't get that.
  6. Dear one, I know where you are at, the Lord blessed me with a extremely high IQ (I'm not boasting here, it's just so that you will understand my situation) my ambition was to become a lawyer, but I wasted my formative years on drugs, sex and rock and roll, flunked out the first semester of college and eleven days later I received an invitation form my Uncle Sam to an all expenses paid vacation in the tropics, when I came back I was married and had a child, school was over for me, I went to work with my back and my hands as a carpenter instead of my brain, this was all before I was born again, however, God, in His Providential care, blessed the work of my hands, from carpenter to construction superintendent to general contractor and I really enjoyed what I did, and what I'm doing now after I've been born again, using the skills I learned before Christ and now He has given me the desires of my heart, something I wanted to do back then but never did, He has blessed me with building fine furniture and He brought me to Tahiti to do it (I don't do cold well), so, ...may I humbly suggest you allow Father to work out His plan in and for your life, it might not be what you had planned, but you will be blessed and will enjoy what He has for you.

    Another thing, we need each other in the Body of Christ, those at your church need the gift the Lord has given you and you need what the Lord has given them, again may I humbly suggest you integrate yourself into your church and you will find you will be able to talk with them, if you sense that they aren't trustworthy (I've been there too) then by all means find the church Father has for you and become an active member.

    In His Love,

  7. Hello Jmilly, Gene (AKA JustPassingThru) has some good advice hidden in his diatribe.
    Get in a church, give God time to do the works He has in mind for you, often we must change before He can do much with us.
    Trust in Him and it will all work out, often better than what you could have hoped for.
    JustPassingThru likes this.
  8. one reason I was not going to respond to the thread. However I do love my Brothers and sisters no matter where they are at.

    Your post was full of talk that is contrary to what God said about you. what you believe in your post is contrary to what your father in Heaven said about you.

    Now you go believing things and looking at things contrary to what your Father said, your going to run into frustration......... In fact, it's just disobedience and unbelief to speak against what your Father has already said concerning you.

    I see that your new, and need good foundation in the Word. The best place to start with this is to focus on What God said about those things that concern you.

    When you are convinced that you are the blessed, old thing are gone, and your words line up with what God said, then things change in a dramatic way. God will move heaven and earth for those that are in complete agreement with him.

    My own son had terminal cancer and the outlook according to the doctors was not good. Just eight short days the cancer had completely taken over my sons body, the chemo had not stopped it or even slowed it down. I go from day one to finding out about the cancer to day eight my son would not live through the night.

    That is a evil report, and my son was at Chicago Memorial Hospital for children who are experts with this type of thing. The day I got the report that my son would not live throug the nigh even, I still said............ With long life I'll satisfy him and show him my salvation.

    I refused to say anything but what God had said, and the ninth day that my son was suppose to be dead, they could not find one cancer cell in his body. They did spinal tap and took bone marrow from his hip and found nothing and it's never returned since. He was 10 back then, now He is 23 and serves the Lord, tithes and works with the church.

    If you just take those few things, and meditate on them to where they are real, that God will supply all your need and all those old things are passed away, looking only forward. You will find things change as you fully are convinced that God is moving on your behalf and nothing in the past even matters.

    The victory is yours, do what I said do, it's not much. Your a blessed and precious child of God, and your past mistakes and goof ups mean nothing.

    The word will change you from the inside out, and what great power is the Word of God.

  9. Matthew 17:20 (KJV)
    And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

    Jesus made the universe, do you think He can't make a job just for you?

    Romans 8:31 (KJV)
    What shall we then say to these things? If God [be] for us, who [can be] against us?
  10. #10 jmilly, Apr 28, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2014
  11. No, that's not what I said....
  12. It certainly is:

    "but what happens when the thing you want will be based on your past efforts, on what you did BEFORE you came to know Christ?"

    Nothing is the answer. You're a new creation in Christ. Nothing is impossible now that He's your Saviour. Do you know what "salvation" truly means? It is so much more than change the destination after death, but a whole new life.

    יְשׁוּעָה yshuw`ah (yesh-oo'-aw) n-f.
    1. something saved, i.e. (abstractly) deliverance
    2. (hence) aid, victory, prosperity

    Do you think a doctor should not become a doctor if they get saved in the 2nd year of residency? Certainly not, unless God puts the desire to do something else in them. Then it's ok to abandon all those years of study. People do it all the time. Listen, you trusted God in salvation, are you going to take charge now and finish the race on your terms? Leave it up to God to make the path straight.

    Psalms 37:23 (KJV)
    The steps of a [good] man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.

    These aren't stairs it's talking about, but one foot in front of the other in pray and surrender in faith to His will. It really is that simple.
    jmilly likes this.
  13. I was much like you before I committed my life to Christ. You know, any wind is the right wind if you don't know where you are going. Jesus will take of some things immediately upon accepting Him & make them right, but He leaves many things where you need to walk with Him day by day to work through. They will be baby steps for a while but you will be going where He wants you to be. With Him. bible study, prayer, belonging to a church. Be silent, just sitting and be silent for at least a minute each day. He will speak to you. Study, not just read, your bible. You need to get to know Him & who He is.
  14. it's where I started years ago. I wrote down scriptures that pertained to my circumstances and just kept them in front of me day and night.

    Years later i have added a few more.

    jmilly likes this.
  15. I dedicated my life to God. Ever since I started listening to god, I was super happy. I want to repay him for what he done for me. If he didn't created me, I wouldn't have existed.
    jmilly likes this.
  16. I have often told God that I will outgive him.............. That means that I will even give God my bill money and empty my account to prove that He can't keep up........

    I have yet been able to do that, though I have tried many times. Times I have given my power bill money, and rent with nothing and God sends someone with 1,000 here and 500.o0 there. I have concluded it's a fools endeavor to pay back God or out give God.

    As he increases me more and more, I do still plan to prove to him I can out give him..................... God is so good, and I have learned that nothing is impossible to those that believe in him.

    jmilly likes this.

  17. This actually makes sense. Believers need to understand God's promises and not doubt his promises.
  18. Amen!!!

    and being new....... We need to lay hold on just a few things and keep it simple.

    One thing I have learned through the years is that God's word never returns void and Jesus said what measure you meet, it shall be measured back to you again (Mark 4)...... so if I meditate on healing scriptures, the same measure of healing is given back as promised and if I give heed to being new in Christ, having old things passed away, then my past no longer matters but a reality that God puts in my heart saying with me and baring witness that what He said is more true than any circumstances.

    I am an ex-con, and it is not always easy to find a job, i have had to keep the same truths in mind, and God never has failed, not one time.

    Your the blessed, and the Word is power, for if the creator said it, and we believe those things He said, then nothing can change it.
    Even unto saving the spirit and having eternal life for those that will believe.
  19. I'm actually in poverty due to my dedication to God. I have a full time job and work 30 dollars per hour, and I only use what I need for minimal living and basic survival. I am actually living in a super low cost apartment in a dangerous neighborhood and donating the rest of my money to church. I walk to the places I need to go instead of driving or taking the bus. I eat those one dollar meals from fast food restaurant for most of my meals only to save money. I could have live the good life, buying my own house and my own car, but I want to give God back even if that includes my living conditions.
  20. What kind of work do you do? You could actually save more money by not eating those 1 dollar fast food meals, and eat healthier.

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