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How can I push a person a way in a kind, Christian way?

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by jmilly, Aug 2, 2015.

  1. I will try to make this short: I had/have a crush on a guy who is not a Christian. Not only that, but there are other reasons I don't think he's "right" for me. However, it seems like I'm seeing more and more of him, hanging out as friends and such. we are becoming closer friends each day. Although I intellectually know it's not right, I still can't help but have feelings for him. It is painful to me to hear him talk about other girls, flirt with other girls, and just not be into me when we're hanging out as friends. That's why I want to stay away from him. My inclination is to be mean and rude so that the person moves away. But I know that's not Christianly. How do I go about this? How do you not be a friend.
     
  2. Give him the truth: let him know you are a practicing Christian, invite him to church, tell him you want a one and only committed man to marry to death till you part as God designed, no touchy touchy or kissy kissy till marriage...

    And see what happens.

    And yes-it is your responsibility about 'how' you feel about him....don't allow yourself to be alone with him.
     
    Fish Catcher Jim likes this.
  3. Every time you see him, pray with him... that'll make them run full steam.
     
    Fish Catcher Jim likes this.
  4. If you obey God and tell him about Jesus, then he will either come to Christ and it would be a joy for you to have that happen, or he will step away from associating with you out of an aversion of the gospel. God's word does tell us to be friendly.
     
    Fish Catcher Jim, Mykuhl and Abdicate says Amen and like this.
  5. Friendly YES but also to run from the things that so easily trip us up or pull us into sin or tempt us big time. ;)
     
  6. That is very true, especially as the OP does admit to having a "crush" on this person.
     
  7. Hello @jmilly,

    I hope you have received some useful replies.
     
  8. Yes thank you but I struggle every day because i have to see this person EVERY day. :-/
     
  9. I know it's easier said than done, but what the other brethren have said is the key: you have to put your cards - so to speak - on the table. If you show him something of Christ, every day when you see him, then either he'll be attracted or repulsed. Very rarely have I seen anyone who is neutral or indifferent to faithful witness to Jesus. Either they can't bear to be around it, or they're drawn to it. Above all, it's vital to pray about it, take your difficulty to the Lord, because these things need wisdom. You can get sound advice from the brethren here on the forum, and we sympathise with you deeply, but we don't know your situation or your heart like the Lord Jesus does. He knows what you need, and He'll guide you infallibly if you trust in Him completely - every step of the way.

    At the moment, I've suddenly come into a situation where I might find love, for the first time in ten years. If all goes well, I'm sure it would be pleasing to the Lord, because the young sister in question is highly suitable and commendable. I find it terrifying, if I'm honest, after all this time. I don't want to rush in, and I have no idea whether she'll feel the same way about me. I've been thrown entirely into dependence on God, shut up to Him. I'm going forward blind, and I feel very strongly the need to be in constant prayer about it, looking for guidance as to His will. Your situation is different to mine, but the same applies. There's great comfort in admitting to our Father that we don't know what to do, and asking for help, guidance and strengthening. This is an anxious time for me, I can't confide in anyone I know in person, I've had sleepless nights, and my only comfort in is Jesus.
     
    jmilly likes this.
  10. Well guess what, my crush has gotten a new job hours away, and will be moving in a month. Part of me feels like God was answering my prayers because I have been very troubled by this. I literally see this guy every day and it's agonizing. I read into every little thing he does wondering if it's a sign he might like me. Then I get sad and disappointed when it looks like he doesn't. It's a vicious cycle. So I have been praying about it, because i have been very confused about this. I have been kind but lately distant. So now he is moving away and I will not have to see him any more on a daily basis. Perhaps I will never even see him again.
    Now I'm troubled by deciding whether to divulge my feelings to him. I think it would be wise not to... so maybe I will continue to avoid him, but do any of you have any better ideas?
     
  11. It's certainly a difficult situation, one I've been in myself a few times.

    Isaiah prophesied this about the Lord Jesus:

    "Behold my servant whom I uphold, mine elect in whom my soul delighteth! I will put my Spirit upon him; he shall bring forth judgment to the nations. He shall not cry, nor lift up, nor cause his voice to be heard in the street. A bruised reed shall he not break, and smoking flax shall he not quench: he shall bring forth judgment according to truth. He shall not faint nor be in haste, till he have set justice in the earth: and the isles shall wait for his law." - Isaiah 42:1-4

    He knew perfectly when to act immediately and when to wait. "He shall not faint nor be in haste" and the end result is wonderful. The Lord Jesus was always guided by the Holy Spirit, and in everything He is a Pattern and Example for us. Depending on the Holy Spirit is the answer to difficult situations in which we don't know what to do, how to act, or how quickly to act. Really, any situation! There's nothing wrong with praying to the Spirit, asking Him for help. I think we all need His help to be dependent on Him, and as long as we acknowledge our need, He'll fill it.

    No-one knows the innermost details of your situation like the Spirit. If you confide in Him, He'll guide you unfailingly.
     
    Jahida and Tine say Amen and like this.

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