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Hots on for nowhere

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by audioslave176, Jan 18, 2010.

  1. Hots on for nowhere

    Hi everybloody.

    I'm 20, male and in the Air Force. I'm about to be stationed in Germany for 2 years. I have this problem where I get really lonely. I have a TON of great friends (dudes and girls alike) but I'm not dating anyone. I know that I'm young and that I need to focus on my relationship with god because my life is still rapidly changing.
    I often become gripped with an overwhelming sense of loneliness (the kind single dudes get) and I sometimes am seized by an irrational fear that I'll never meet any girls that I can settle down with and that I'll be alone forever. The thought of going to Germany scares me a little, that I'll be there for two years and be REALLY lonely. I want to not care and to not even think about girls right now, that's my problem. What can I do to shake this? What does God say about it?

    To anyone who decides to lend their advice, thank you very much.
  2. Hello, Audioslave. First of all, thank you for your service.

    At twenty years old it's normal for you to want the attention and companionship of young women.That's actually normal at any age. With that said, please do not fear loneliness. You are very young still, young enough to appreciate your younger years and determine God's will for your life. You can be a tremendous servant of the Lord while not tied down to the responsibilities of a relationship, or worse, ensnared in the world of serial dating. God has a purpose and a plan for all of us at various stages in our lives. Seek His perfect will first and foremost.

    Psalm 46:1
    "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."

    Philippians 4:6
    "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."

    John 16:32
    "But a time is coming, and has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me."

    Philippians 4:11-13
    "Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

    Philippians 4:19
    "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."
  3. Hey audioslave.
    First of all, thank you for the service that you are doing. That's an amazing thing and we are very grateful to have you!

    I had a prayer a long time ago. It was when I gave up dating. I said to God (something among these lines) "God, I don't have a stable relationship with You. I am done dating. I am now going to focus on You and try to fall in love with YOU before anyone else. I am Yours." I have been single for over a year. And for me, that's a long time. Because I used to date...A LOT.

    It took a year, but I am finally head over heels in love with my Lord and Savior!
    It's important to focus on your relationship with God before you jump into any other relationships. And once we delight in Him, God will definitely give us the desires of our hearts.
    So I suggest you to dig into God. Read the Bible daily (it's going to be hard!!!!!), talk to God, worship. Ask him whatever breaks God's heart, let it break yours as well.
    God longs to be close to you.

    Once you have a stable relationship with God and once you are IN love with Him, everything will fall into place.
    God has been wonderful to me this past year! He truly has. He is a great God and He deserves all honor and praise! :)
  4. Thanks for the responses. I really appreciate what you both said.

    Blessedwife, what you say is absolutely correct. While I'm still single and free of any obligation to anybody, I can really devote myself to serving god and serving others. I'm going to look into volunteer opportunities I can help out with while I have the time to devote to them. The verse from Philippians really speaks to me...Thank you!!

    xspinningisfun (which isn't really fun, it makes me throw up), it's interesting to hear your story. I can draw a parallel, because I've definitely allowed my problem to cloud my mind and take my focus away from the things that should be foremost. I'm struck by what you said, "Whatever breaks God's heart, let it break yours." I'm going to think about that.

    Thanks again for the responses. I really appreciate them.
  5. Lol, well, i'm glad you dont' spin then! throwing up is never fun :p

    yup, no problem. just fall in love with God. let him define you. i know it's hard. i mean, dating was a bit part of my life 2 years ago. until i finally just gave up. because i was missing something. it was God. i was just trying to feel "pretty" and whatnot by going on these dates and i was trying to find who i was in others besides God. until i finally was just fed up! trust me, once you hand your whole life to God, he does change it and he works in powerful ways. i love seeing what God does in others and myself. it's really awesome!

    just keep seeking after God's own heart.

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