I am not a perfect Christian. And there's one thing n my life that I am terrible at. Honoring my father. I have always had a great relationship with my mother. She wasn't around a lot growing up because she was always working. But she has sacrificed a lot for my sister and me and I am grateful for a mother like her. She is very graceful and (almost annoyingly!) selfless to the point where she would always eat last after cooking or never buying herself that one designer bag she has been eyeing. She taught me to involve God in my life and let Jesus in my heart. My father on the other hand is not a very Christian man. I have experienced domestic violence in my home) towards my mother up until I was about 14. It happened maybe once every two years but it happened and it was very traumatic. That's why I grew up to be a very independent and strong woman. I don't take crap from anyone. If I feel threatened (with or without violence), I always find my way out of the situation. Thus I am very protective of the people I love and even my sister who is 8 years older than me. So yeah, my point is that even though domestic violence hasn't occurred in a long time, he still has his bad moments where he is obviously looking for a quarrel. I believe he has psychological problems. I feel bad for not honoring my father. But I cannot love this man. I know I wouldn't be here without him,but he is not a man to look up to. I would go as far and say that I could hardly cry if he ever passed. That's harsh. That's not kind, but I can't help what I feel for this man. I can't force myself to see this man as a loving and caring father. He is none of that. He is only my biological, earthly father. My problem is that even the 10 commandments state that one should honor one's father and mother. I know my behavior is not God's will. Do you have experience with that? Have you ever had trouble with a parent? I'm not talking the fits you threw when you were a teenager, I mean situations that made you question your relationship to a parent.