Homosexual Friend

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by kittykat, Dec 22, 2013.

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  1. I already tried to ask this question on yahoo answers but that attempt failed miserably as the only "answers" I got were insults such as "bigot" "hater" and "homophobe", I decided to ask people that understand the bible and God. God loves everyone just as they are, I know and understand that fact. My best friend is living a homosexual lifestyle and it is really starting to upset me. I worry about him a lot. I know that there are verses in the bible that warn about homosexuality and sin in general. However, I once asked him if he thought homosexuality is a sin and he responded, "I don't know". That was over a year ago and now he is living with a guy that is his boyfriend. This guy is very mean and hateful and a very negative influence on my friend. My friend seems so unhappy all the time and it could be because of this guy or it could just be the absence of Jesus from his life. Maybe it is both, I can't be sure. Anyway I am just so frustrated that he can't see what he is doing is not the way of God. He goes to church with me almost every Sunday which is great but it seems like he only goes because I want him to. I know because whenever it turns out I can't go, he doesn't go. I am not going to say he is going to Hell because that is not my right and that is outside of my knowledge but that doesn't mean I don't worry about him. I know his sin is no better or worse than the sins I commit. However, if he doesn't see homosexuality as a sin, then he won't repent and try not to commit it. I just don't know if I should intervene in some way or let him figure it out himself? I've been his confidant for about 2 years now about everything but it's getting harder to be around him because he is changing so much. I just don't know what to do. I just want my friend back the way he was before he got into this lifestyle. He was happy and so full of life and now, now it's like he doesn't care about anything anymore-including me. I need advice and no hate. I deal with hate for what I believe all the time and I'm tired of it. I just want someone to nicely give me advice and if they have nothing nice to say to just keep quiet please because trust me-I've heard it all.
  2. You and him go to Church together right? Do you ever discuss God outside of Church? Ever discuss sin? Does he read the Bible?

    Maybe you can get him to read a Chapter in the Bible that includes a verse about homosexuality and then ask him what he thinks. You don't have to pinpoint the verse that mentions homosexuality, just ask him what he thinks of the Chapter and if he agrees with everything in it.

    Yahoo answers isn't a very good place to go for answers.
  3. Dysfunctional relationships are not limited to traditional ones. It happens in homosexual relationships just as much as it does in heterosexual relationships. The person has to be healed before the behavior can change. Telling someone who doesn't really care about God that they are sinning is about as effective as telling your dog to meow. It is the Holy Spirit that will reveal sin, and will convict hearts. All we can do is show people the way to Christ.
  4. If a person won't acknowledge sin, they won't acknowledge that they are a sinner. And they won't recognize their need for salvation.

    God tells us to be separated from them; not out of condemnation-but because it will eventually cause us heartache and the potential is there to forsake our relationship with God for the relationship with that person...
  5. That sounds to me like someone who might at least be open to the idea that its a sin even though that was over a year ago. Many people will give you an emphatic "no" when you ask that question.
  6. Changing one's sexual orientation is a huge challenge for that person. Pray nonstop for your friend and for conviction. I notice that many churches love to pounce on people who suffer from homosexuality or fornication, but they seem to forget that these are just different types of sin, just like the ones that they suffer from on a daily basis. No, perhaps homosexuality is not right, but I do wish that more believers were more loving towards people under that particular sin.

    My advice is to encourage your friend to become passionate about following God, and save the homosexuality issue for later. I do know how you feel though. I have many homosexual friends that I worry about, but I know that they will never reform their lifestyles unless they reach out for God's inspiration. I commend you for trying to help him though, I hope that you are successful in your endeavors.
    Huntingteckel likes this.
  7. I've been struggling with this issue for some time now. First it was friends who "came out" Now, as posted in the prayer section, my daughter has admitted to me that she prefers girls.

    Here is my heart on the matter...

    Sin is sin.

    Do we love anyone less if they abuse alcohol? I can tell you, with a family of alcoholics on one side of my family...I still love them, and my heart breaks for them, and I pray for them. I do not drink with them, nor will I help them get more of their poison.

    Murderers...do you love them any less? Sadly, I can tell you from experience, I love my uncle M even though he murdered my uncle L. I don't trust M...I don't socialize with M. When he went before the court for sentencing, I pleaded for the maximum sentence...and I continue to pray for M.

    My gay friends... W & I have been friends since 3rd grade...I'm now 42. I have always loved W. Always will. K, I had a crush on K...was shocked to see him with a guy. Still love him & think he's a phenomenal person. B & I were besties in middle school...she was abused so it wasn't too much of a leap of logic she would look for something different.

    Do I love them less? Nope. Do they know how I feel? yup. Do I endorse, ridicule or aid them in their sin? Nope. I don't socialize with them further than facebook, family gatherings & reunions, but if they needed me...I'd be there in a heartbeat...because I love them.

    My daughter...this has been hard.
    She is only at this time having thoughts & feelings of homosexuality. She has not taken the next step, Thank you Jesus!

    But...sin is sin. If she doesn't cast out her ungodly thoughts...and chooses to embrace her sinful thoughts & desires...she opens herself up to sin against her body...which is grave.

    I chose the sins above because they are all sins against your body, nature, soul. These type of sins open you up for possession. Not that all who commit them are or do become possessed, but it does open you up to it.

    Yes, we are all programmed to sin...it is in our DNA....but that does not mean it is okay to go with it because "God created you this way" Rather, God created Adam & Eve perfect...and through their sin...and umpteen thousand generations, the genetics have been corrupted by sin...and so yes, many of us are born this way, but lets not blaspheme by blaming God.

    So my advice to you is this...let them know what you believe...how it makes you feel...and how you still love them regardless. But stand firm on what you believe & don't enable their sin.
  8. Homosexuals can't change their sexual orientation. That is like trying to change me to like guys, it won't ever happen.
  9. But you can choose to act on it or not.
  10. Actually, certain sins are worse than others. Read 1 Corinthians 6:18-20
  11. Yes, I wasn't defending the act of homosexuality, I just wanted to correct user "God be with you". A lot of Christians think homosexuality is something that can be changed and end up trying to train homosexuals to be straight and it just doesn't work like that.
  12. No more than someone can be cured of alcoholism...but with God anything is possible. I believe He can change anything in any of us.
    Euphemia likes this.
  13. Sorry, but I don't think you can compare alcoholism and homosexuality. Alcoholism is a choice, homosexuality isn't.
  14. Nope..you can They have found a gene that makes you pre-disposed to be alcoholic. I carry it...my maternal grandparents & all but 2 of my mothers siblings (that would be 6) are alcoholics. It is genetically passed down. I could easily be alcoholic...but because I know the risks...I don't drink.

    Again, it's a choice to not do what is in our nature, because we know it is wrong. I cannot get rid of the gene...nor can my family members. BTW Both of my kids have the gene too.

    So yeah...I do see the parallels. They are both sins connected to our genetic make up...
  15. Homosexuality is a choice for the most part---a choice to dive into sin. To those who say they were born that way are really communicating a childhood trauma, perhaps not remembered. Trauma of any kind is a doorway to the demonic, and we must always guard against it, but childhood sexual abuse and incest as well as overt neglect are particular gateways to homosexual and other sexual deviancies later in life.

    Good Christian counsel as well as the ministry of deliverance are needed for most people who are plagued by this sin and want to be set free.
    KitsapGirl likes this.
  16. I haven't read about that so i'm not going to rant about it but...ehhh, i'll just be quiet on that one since i'm not well enough informed but idk. Anyways I just wanted to say in regards to your message before that you are right, with God anything is possible. But things like homosexuality are such a part of a person's sexual identity that they aren't something I would expect are completely changeable. Like you said, all humans have sin in our DNA. It is only after we die that we can be completely erased of it (if we are saved). I read you post about your daughter and I can see this would be a very sensitive topic to you, but i'm not trying to be negative here. First be glad your daughter admitted to you her sexual feelings. That is really amazing! She values you and your opinions and wanted you to know her thoughts! You have the ability to be a very positive influence in her life, but not if you try to change her, that leads to a whole slew of problems. Also, remember God is looking out for her. Even though she might be homosexual and it seems like such a terrible thing you have to remember God works around these types of things, you never know this might be a blessing. I know that is hard to comprehend, "A BLESSING?! IS THIS GUY NUTS?!" but may I recommend you read Job from the Bible. It really helps me to understand that bad things are sometimes incomprehensible to us, but God can work around them for the better.
  17. Not giving up that easy...Still rebuking the spirit behind this, and praying for her...and talking to her. I will never just sit down & accept this wholesale.
    Euphemia likes this.
  18. Ok first, I don't think you're right about the past childhood trauma theory because while a lot of homosexuals might have been abused, etc... a lot others were raised by loving parents and grew up perfectly normal. I'm sure a lot of parents with homosexual children would be deeply offended by what you just said. Secondly, homesexuality (not the act) is not a choice if a child was abused or whatever and got a messed up thought pattern.. How would that be a choice???
  19. I didn't say to accept it. Do you go to church? I feel like it would be a really good idea if you talk to your pastor about this.

  20. So you are saying God isn't all powerful. God can do anything.
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