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Help Please

Discussion in 'Family and Parenting' started by kristalish, May 23, 2012.

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  1. well when i was 15 i met this guy from youth group and we were friends for a year. he is a great guy and wants to be a missionary like me. when i was 16 we talked on and off because my dad doesnt like the fact that he is mixed. he is half white and half black. we were going to prom together and my dad said it was okay but he said yes reluctantly. my dad read through some of my texts that said "i love you" to and from him. he got really mad and yelled at me saying i will never date a black guy. I find that really offencive because i think we are all created equal. my dad called the guy and told him that i would never talk to him again. then he blocked my phone where i cant communicate with him. im not even allowed back at the same youth group. i had to convey a message through another friend to explain what happened. we are both very sad since we havent talked since january. he says that he is going to wait for me until im 18 so that we can date. I know that i want to, but at the same time i dont want to disrespect my parents. i really do love him. not mushy gushy love but genuine love. weve never kissed or held hands or anything. we didnt feel like that was right to do until we were older. im so stuck and i dont know if i should go for it when im 18 or forget about it. please give me some advice. I need to know what other parents opinion is.
  2. Hi Kristal, when I was 15 like you, I had a friend named Jessica who was seeing a boy who was also bi-racial. Her parents were pretty upset about it and it caused alot problems for my friend. Pretty soon she was messing up in school, getting into trouble for skipping to be with him and a whole lot of other problems. One day, she got into an argument with her father because her father didn't approve of Jessica dating this boy. Her father yelled at her in a pretty harsh way and Jessica ran away from her house and came to mine. My parents allowed her to stay for 3 days till her father cooled down, but when she got back to her house, the relationship between her and her parents was very strained and not like it used to be.

    Anyway, her defiance and insisting on seeing this boy made life very difficult for her and she almost didn't graduate because of her grades. Her life was hard and I think that caused problems that could've been avoided. Now, my friend is 27 like myself and when she looks back at herself at your age, she feels that she should've just obeyed her parents and waited till she was older to date this boy. She didn't end up marrying this boy or anything, like many of the relationships that teens have, it ended when high school was over.

    What I'm trying to say to you, Kristal, is that I think you should listen to your parents. Right now, you are living under their roof and you can't do things if they disapprove. If this is genuine love, this love will last till you are 18 years old and an adult who can make her own decisions. If it isn't true love, well, then you'll know that too. There is no point in defying your father only to have your life become difficult. Being a young girl is hard enough without having a strained relationship with a parent at home. For now, the best thing you can do is obey your dad and when the time comes, you will decide if you want to be with this boy or not. True love doesn't go away with time, so for now, have fun with your friends, date other boys that are respectful of you, and keep up your grades. These years are the best years in your life and you deserve to have good fun and don't worry too much about love. Like I said, true love will stay if it is genuine. I hope this helps you.
    covered_by_grace likes this.
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