God bless y'all! This is probably going to be long, so please have some minutes for me, i need your advice! I may ask you to pray before you post I need help. I came to this forum a few days ago because i wanted to meet the children of God. I feel like this is the lowest point in my relationship with the Lord and i need guiding for i've made a wall between us with my sins which i don't know how to destroy. Two years ago, around November i was burning and living for the Saviour, that was the BEST time of my life! I was living all my days with Him. And He helped me out of my problems and lifted me up...and when i was high above things started to change.. I was too lazy to wake up in the morning to read the Bible and pray. And i started to get back to the things i've already got rid of for good. So i lost my close relationship with Him, and i felt too guilty to stabd before him. I kept praying every night and going to church but my heart was filled with other things. And i know i need to clean my heart to make room for Him, but it is so hard.. The PROBLEM is that lately it's like i see hate everywhere. In these two years i was happily thinking that i am a christian, but when it came to action i didn't even have enough strength to say what i am.. At school they keep rejecting religion and humiliating it with their words... And even if i only search the web for a second i find people saying ugly things aboit Christianity and faith. And i can't help reading them:/ And i know that God exists, and i know He loves me, but sometimes these things pop up in my head: -What if God doesn't exist? -If He doesn't exist why would you dedicate your life to this thing? -What if christian people are all mentally ill? And make themselves believe things? -Think through... It doesn't even make sense.. And i KNOW these are NOT my thoughts! But i can't get them out of my head and they keep haunting me, and i don't know what to do. I see all this hate for christians in this world and it's getting serious and i don't have enought faith currently so i am afraid of what's coming! And when i see even just a small sign from someone that they don't believe in God i get so angry and afraid at the same time. The OTHER thing... I know this world is sick and Hell is the worst place, yet my mind just can't imagine Heaven to be so amazing.. I can't imagine how our life would be there.. Seems like my mind is stuck on Earth. So please help me!! I really feel like this turning point in my life is either LIFE or DEATH. How should i start again? How do i fight the evil in me? How can i keep up again and have strong faith? Thank you so much for your answers in advance!