My dearest in Christ, I've not been regular here not because I wanted to, but because of how things are with me: I don't have a computer and have to rent one at a cyber cafe whenever I can afford it. I have been having thoughts of suicide recently all because I have loved ones I can't care for. Since I graduated from school in 2003, I have looked for jobs endlessly. Now I live from hand to mouth - almost going naked. You can't understand this unless you've lived in third world situations. I have no shelter of my own. I beg for shelter. I have an aging mother whom I can't care for. I can't even think of getting married in circumstances like this. What I'm doing now is my very last effort. I have prayed and prayed and prayed focusing on Christ's teaching on prayer (Mattew 6, Luke 11 and 18) all to no avail. At a time (November 2012) I stayed in a bush for a week and I had total faith that I'd be answered - that's why I feared no wild animal that might eat me up there. Instead I was caught by some neighbors who thought I was hiding in the bush to wreak havoc, and punished. They were christians, and I showed them my bible but they said I was deceiving them. I have had very bad experiences with fellow christians (indeed it made me to stop attending churches. I decided to have direct relationship with God. From the level of selfishness I experienced, I began to feel that there were no genuine christians. But, may be, I was wrong in so thinking). Now I want to see if I can work online but there are many challenges: For instance all genuine online jobs pay via Paypal, and Paypal doesn't do business with my country (Nigeria). Also, I don't have constant access to the internet. I feel very ashamed to be sounding so self-centered and needy, but I've got to be honest. I need your prayer, your advice and your financial help (no amount is small) to help me get back on living. I'd appreciate your help, but God, I'm sure will appreciate you more. I may not have the opportunity of coming back here soon. But if you wish to help me, you can call +2348178661759 or you email firstname.lastname@example.org. Thanx for your loving patience. God bless you.