Hello Hello im new here. A bit about me:im 44,married..3 children(had 4..but our eldest died 2 years ago..she was 16).She was disabled.we recently found out that both our boys have Aspergers and the youngest adhd.Our little girl seems fine!! I was a satanist for over 30 years.I gave my life to Christ in 2007. I have backslidden many times...to the point where i was convinced that i had lost my salvation totally..renouncing God etc. But i realise the truth that if you are truly saved you can NEVER be taken from Gods hand. I wont go into detail about the things that hapend when i back slid..but they were blasphemous and abhorrent..but when one has the Holy spirit inside..then eventually you cannot but repent.Not ,i found,because i was scared of what might hapen if i didnt repent...but because i was convicted of how much i had hurt the very one who died for me..who died for me even though i was soaked in sin. on this journey i am constantly amazed at Gods love and patience. Hes no pushover!He lets me go to a point...rock bottom i guess..but Hes never left me..Hes just waiting to take me back. I think having kids of my own helps so much...with their disabilities/problems..it hurts so much a s a parent to see.I just want to fix it all for them How much more must gods heart break when he sees His children suffer?Even when its self inflicted? Anyway...its still a battle.A contentious issue i know..but i am receiving deliverance for lingering demonisation. Some people dont believe thats possible in a Christian..but i emphasise..its demonisation NOT possession.Demonic spirits in the flesh if you will. anyway..ive gone on a bit there! OOPS! It is good to be here.Please be patient with me!LOL! Yours in Christ.