Having a relationship with a 12 year old girl?

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Royce Yu, May 12, 2015.

  1. I'm 15, and I would like to know if it is ok to have a relationship with a 12 year old girl. At what age do you think teenagers not unlike myself start understanding true love? And also, as neither of us are old enough for dating, how should we go about this?
  2. Hi Royce.
    This looks like your very first post, in that case welcome. You are three years older than that girl - the age difference does not sound like a problem, I'm four years older than my wife.
    You both are very young though, but are asking serious questions.
    You talk about understanding love. What do think love is? Can you describe this love to us?
    My daughter is nine, and I'm sure the first boy arriving to come and "date" will have the awkward experience of meeting my shotgun, all 1.5 meters of it. It will not threaten or point it at him, just politely explain what it is and what it can do.
    The reason why I'm saying this is that fathers in particularly is very protective over their daughters, with todays motives and all.
    Get what I'm trying to say?
    Your motives have better be 100% in line.
    But let's start with those questions above.
    Ravindran and Klub say Amen and like this.
  3. The Bible states that love is patient, love is kind, etc. so thats my definition of love. Um. Describing it is a bit difficult, but I care for her a lot and I feel glad when she talks to me...
    I think I know her very well already, however, we haven't had the define the relationship talk yet. (But I think she knows that I love her, though I'm not too sure how she feels about me, I know she likes me, but I don't know if she loves me)
  4. Royce,

    God is love, no one at any age can know love if they don't know God. Everything else is just feelings or unhealthy attachments.
    In all honesty you both are far too young to get involved in that type of relationship. If you try to make it more than just friendship it will turn ungodly quite fast. I'm sorry if this is bad news but I need to warn you.
    Klub likes this.
  5. Yes, I am quite aware of teenage sex drives... .-.
  6. Okay, what I was trying to get to is this.
    Love never takes, but always gives. If everything you feel towards her can be answered by this, then you are on the right path. Remember, the groom lays down his life for the bride, just as Christ has done for us.
    And to do that, we have to continually evaluate ourselves as men and especially our fleshly motives as our brains tend to easily fall way down when the hormones start talking - you get what I'm saying here? It's cardinal to stay pure before God, He requires you holy, and to keep her holy. Get that?
    And then you will not run into trouble with that 1.5m shotgun either, hey.
    Mykuhl likes this.
  7. No, it is not alright to have a relationship with a 12-year-old girl, or any girl, for that matter. your job as a 15-year-old is to devote yourself to studies. You will come to understand love as time goes by so that by the time you are finished school, you may come to that point of being able to embark on a dating relationship with some understanding about what it is to be a responsible male.

    You can be friends with girls, but you must always be in a group, and never alone. That is being responsible---to yourself and to others.
  8. 15 is way too young to be thinking about love in my opinion. And while a 3 years difference is nothing in terms of adults, the maturity level and developmental level between 15 and 12 is immense.

    Maintain friendships, avoid unecessary alone time with girls, and almost all alone time with girls is unecessary. Aside from that, focus on God. I'm all for dating, but at 12 and 15, it is too early. If I have a daughter, she isn't allowed to date until 30, maybe :ROFLMAO:
  9. Ok, so say is it possible for us to be friends, and have a serious relationship in the future?
    Here's a bit more about me:
    I consider myself to be fairly mature, but I'm not quite sure. I've attended the adult sermons since I was 10, as I found the Teen group sermons surprisingly simple. Through the adult services I learnt a lot about what it means to be a mature man, about how to sustain a Godly relationship, etc.
    I do spend in fact, most of my time studying and learning new things and preparing for university (yeah, a bit early, but I'm Asian). What I'm not quite sure about is how much would having a relationship (hypothetical) affect me?
    There's just so many conflicting information on the internet about relationships, too...
  10. Maturity comes in the living out what we sit and listen to.

    A relationship that is exclusive with anyone---least of all a little girl---is not good for you OR HER, but will serve as a distraction from all that is good for you and your development into adulthood.
  11. I tend to agree, be a close friend to her now and develop a character of serving through love.
  12. Look. From what you say you are on the right path, but you have to live it into solid life experience.
    Keeping walking in faith, grow in the teaching of God the Father through His word, then relationships will occur naturally as it should.
    I would not push it at your age, but be a friend to her as she most likely need that more now than other things, remember that also helps her to grow in a way that will glorify God, if you can be a solid Christ founded friend during her youth.
    Royce Yu likes this.
  13. You're 15 and she's 12, you're definitely not too old.
    My husband is I do believe 8 years older than me.
    We started courting when I was 22 and he was 30.
  14. While love does not have any age limits, responsibilities do have!! The world proclaims only half the truth.. While there is nothing wrong in you falling in love, it will distract you away from all your responsibilities.. I would say focus on studies at this age.. It is an age when all that glitters would look like gold.. And it is an age where there is not enough maturity to differentiate between infatuation, lust and love..
    Klub and Euphemia say Amen and like this.
  15. Hello Arrie,
    I enjoyed the shot gun part very much ! ; )
    I agree that 3 years is not all that much HOWEVER that would be in adults and not a 15 year old and a 12 year old. Allowing a 15 year old to date a 12 year old girl does not sound smart.
  16. That is good but you are not 12 years old either. The age difference between adults is one thing but a 15 year old teen age boy wit a 12 year olod girl ? Not a good plan.
  17. Yes, I was responding to the age difference thing is a single topic of concern as he may carry what is said forward into life, you'll note later on, I provided advice regarding the actual dating issue, which follows the intended route.
    I strongly doubt I would allow my daughter at age 12 into a full-blown relationship. Lot of water need to pass for that bridge to be opened.
    Euphemia likes this.
  18. I don't see a real problem with the age.. It could get a little more complicated once you turn 18 and she's 15, but as long as you're relationship is kept innocent I see no issues even then.

    I know i heard (and ignored) the same thing when I was your age, but some advice I'd give, though, is don't take anything too fast. Just enjoy being young together and it'll only be better in the long run.

    When I was a teen I didn't know the Lord, and I wanted to be grown up so bad, I couldn't just relax and enjoy my youth. I ended up making bad decisions when it came to girls, and had a child as soon as I turned 18.

    As much as I spent my teenage years wanting to be an adult and trying to act like one, I've spent my adult years wishing I just could've enjoyed being 12, or 15 while I was. You'll have your whole life to be an adult (its not so great lol!) enjoy those years while you got them, and keep them innocent like their meant to be. You'll be so happy you did later in your life.
  19. You do realize he's only 3 years older than her right? :p
  20. Let me please rephrase... I agree with an above poster I too would not allow my 12 year old daughter to date personally, but some parents are different.
    Maybe you should have talk with your parents or the girls parents first?
    If you did go out with her I'd suggest meeting in a VERY public place to avoid any sexual type sins.

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