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guilt over not spending enough time with parents

Discussion in 'Family and Parenting' started by NotJustACarpenter, Aug 24, 2006.

  1. guilt over not spending enough time with parents

    I am in my 30s, married with one child and I have a job that forces me to be away from home. My time is precious when at home and not working. My father is now disabled and my mother takes care of him 24/7. She does not drive and they are basically stuck at their house all day, everyday. (they have assistance paid for by the State to bring her around to shop and other things) He calls my wireless phone all the time and sometimes I don't want to answer. I only get over there a few times a month to visit and so they can see their grand-daughter. When I am home, I get chores done around my house and spend time with my wife and daughter and then just a little time for me (not much time left for my dear Mom and Dad)

    I am starting to feel terribly guilty about everything and sometimes this situation is all I think about. But I also feel there is not much I can do about it. My Mom says she is "wore out" (situation is now 6 years old) and feels very depressed. She has mental issues on top of everything else and makes it difficult to be around her sometimes. She has been very quick to point out where I fall short in coming over and helping out. I want to be a good son, but I have the obigation to be a good husband and father too. It seems that there is just not enough hours in the day to do it though.

    Can anyone offer some insight to this situation?
  2. Give your mom one day out say every two weeks. Pay for a visiting Nurse's Aid if you have to........ In a lot of states, there is even state money available for that.
  3. Not Just A Carpenter,

    Wow! Sometimes life is tough.

    I think you should determine exactly when you can visit your parents. Let your mom know when you will be coming. Then set up a time to call. I call my 75 year old parents every Saturday morning. They know what to expect and I don't feel guilty.
  4. Thanks for the replies. I like the idea of letting them know exactly what to expect and then doing no less than planned.

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