Good News, Bad News Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river. Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current. Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card. Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30. Good News: You finally found a choir director who approaches things exactly the same way you do. Bad News: The choir mutinied. Good News: Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons. Bad News: Mrs. Jones is also wild about the "Gong Show," "Beavis and Butthead" and "Texas Chain Saw Massacre." Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking. Bad News: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of your parsonage. Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks. Bad News: You were on vacation. Good News: Your deacons want to send you to the Holy Land. Bad News: They are stalling until the next war. Good News: Your biggest critic just left your church. Bad News: He has been appointed the Head Bishop of your denomination.