I recently broke up with a girl whom I considered to be the "love of my life". She was tall, pretty, smart, funny, etc, etc. And basically everything I wanted except for one thing. I strongly prefer a virgin as I am one myself. Before I dated her, I knew already that I'd have trouble accepting a partner who had a past. I hesitated for a bit to ask her if she did have a past but I figured that god might have finally been sending me my future-wife so I asked and of course, she turned out to not be a virgin. She even went as far to give excessive details I didn't ask for. She told me she didn't regret it and he pressured her into it. I had been talking to her for about a week or so then so I didn't think too much of it. I apologize for all the detail. Eventually, I'd end up getting pretty close to her. I went with her to her prom. We hit it off really well. At this point, I didn't know anything about her past except for the fact that she had sex before. But nothing of the actual act. So while it bothered me, I couldn't imagine anything so it was a small enough problem for me to still be happy being with her. The second day, I had called her on the phone and it slipped out that the guy she did it with, didn't last long. At that point, it would start to bug me a little more. She told me enough details for me to imagine it so I told her how I felt about it. She said she wouldn't do it anymore. But on another date, I was holding her and we were joking about how shy we were and she goes out of the way to mention that the guy was not shy. I didn't say anything that time but it felt like getting stabbed in the heart to imagine this woman you liked enough to consider marrying had been intimate with another man, before she met you but still. I told her about it again and she would mention it an additional 2 times before it really became an issue. I would think about it daily, it got to where I would actually pray for God to take the hurt out of my heart. I eventually told her how I felt and at first she told me that she wish she had waited for me and then went out of her way to chew me out the next day. She told me that she wasn't going to sugar coat it, that it was unrealistic for me to desire a virgin mate, that I needed therapy and need to move on because at this point in life, being 21, it isn't going to happen. Of course with the woman you fell in love with telling you that not only did it hurt having that even happened but to know she wasn't sorry for it and thinks something is wrong with you for it eating you up inside made it worse. Okay this is getting long, fast forward, we ended up breaking up as I probably would mention it to her another 2 times at the most when it got too tough to keep it inside anymore only to be told things like "I wish I would have lied to you.", "You shouldn't have gotten involved","I wish you would stop judging me.", etc, etc. She had told me that she didn't want to get her hopes up for something that wouldn't last. And in these past days, have just been such a struggle. I've been told that I was judgmental but I feel a lot of people don't truly understand what I went through. And to this day, I still miss her. And I just worry that what if God intended for me to be with this woman but I blew it because I couldn't suck it up and not let it hurt me anymore. And even now, I worry about the next woman. What if she isn't a virgin, am I doomed to a life of feeling miserable over my partner's past, regardless? I dunno, I just really need some advice. I'm not sure what to do.