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Friendship Advice

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Fish_of_Faith, Nov 1, 2014.

  1. Hello everyone, I have a quick question and hopefully you will be able to help.
    I have recently been talking to a friend via text messages and we play a word assossiation game. E.g. I say car she might say wheel etc.
    Just of recent we can play the game but she will direct attention to a sexual nature. E.g I say car she would say back seat, I say confortable she could say fun and it would escalate to sex in some nature.
    I am unsure what to say when it gets to this stage; I know it is wrong and going against the word of God, but what makes it worse is she is engaged and wants me to talk in this sexual way (this is lust I would imagine on her part).
    I don't want it to get to this stage and it is not always the game that causes this to happen it could be a general conversation.

    Can anyone advise?
  2. You could try to tell her your feelings about this type of communication.
  3. She is aware that I am a man of God as I have made her aware of this. I try and avoid the scenario by going a little off track but she is very insistant.
    Perhaps coming straight out with it informing her that she is clouding my walk with God might force her to back off a little.
  4. She is engaged to be married so I would back off all together. It is evident she wants to play around before she gets married. I would tell her that the communication between you and her is inappropriate and goes against your Christian beliefs and values. Also, pray about it and I'm sure the Holy Spirit will lead you away from communication with her.
    Where is the Messiah, LysanderShapiro, Ravindran and 3 others say Amen and like this.
  5. This does seem the best option. It appears a simple friendship is not what she wants.
  6. The best thing you can do is pull the "Joseph Maneuver"......


    Genesis 39:
    12 And she caught him by his garment, saying, Lie with me: and he left his garment in her hand, and fled, and got him out.
    dUmPsTeR, Ravindran and Abdicate says Amen and like this.
  7. If you're not the fiance then you need to sever the relationship. That's difficult I know, but think of it this way: if she was your fiance and she was "friends" with another guy how would you feel?
    dUmPsTeR, Where is the Messiah and xspinningisfun says Amen and like this.
  8. On the other hand, you do have an opportunity to give some positive witness. Example: Car >> Back seat >> children >> sex >> marriage >> bed >> fidelity.
    It is your game, you play it how you want.
    dUmPsTeR and Ravindran say Amen and like this.
  9. Thank you for all your replies, I know what I need to do.
    I certainly need to be straight with her on how it's clouding my beliefs and I don't want to be part of any games.
  10. That is why I joined to find female friends because if your married it is letting your good be evil spoken of putting your self into situations with other sex besides your mate.. it always leads to evil
  11. Just a quick follow up people. I have explained to the friend in question about my feelings, she has recently broken off her relationship with her fiance. I explained that I am not willing to break the commandments for anyone; she is cool with that and would just like to be friends.
    What do you think?
  12. I think that even though she is not engaged anymore, anyone (male or female) who would be so suggestive in a simple word association game among platonic friends is probably not a man or woman of God. Personally, I would not be engaging in conversation like that with a casual friend of the opposite gender. :)
    psalms511 likes this.
  13. #13 xspinningisfun, Nov 11, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2014
    Personally, I think it's dangerous right now. Just because she was so open about the sexual stuff in the word association. I mean, she just broke up with her fiance and now wants to be friends with the guy which she was playing word association with while she was engaged. I don't think word association is bad, but the way she was playing is dangerous.

    Proclaiming that you are a man of God takes more than just words. Saying to her, "Hey, I'm a man of God," is just telling her this, but your actions will confirm it. For example, Jesus wasn't dying on the cross and said, "Hey, I'm doing this because I love you." No, His actions confirmed His love for us.

    I think walking away will prove that you are a man of God. I don't doubt that you are a man of God, I don't. When you are just friends, it might possibly go from friendship to a very dangerous relationship soon. It will escalate rather quickly and before you know it.

    I mean, look at what she was doing when she was engaged. And then, when she breaks up with her fiance, she goes immediately to you to be "friends" AFTER you told her about the feelings. That is a red flag.

    She's saying she's "cool" with not breaking the ten commandments. You know she will probably say anything at this point just to be "friends" (and I use this term loosely), correct? I'm just saying this because I'm seeing how she was with you when she was engaged. It's a huge red flag.

    I don't know her and I don't know you all that well, but I care about both of your guys' spiritual life and I'm telling you, it's not going to end well. :/

    I hope you hear my heart behind this message!
    Robine likes this.
  14. Since my previous posting, I have been ignoring her messages as they are swaying the word of God. I am much happier this way without negative feelings or conversations.
    SparkleEyes likes this.
  15. Decision was made after my last posting; since then we have made little contact. Disaster avoided I think.
  16. That is awesome!

    I think they only thing is: Why ignore? Why not just tell her that you aren't interested in talking? I think ignoring is the easy way out so there's no confrontation. And sometimes we ignore so that we can run away from confrontation because it's a scary thing! But we have been taught to confront. It's never easy, but always hard, but it's going to help her understand. Even though she may be in the wrong, confrontation will help her understand and help you.

    Just my thought.
    psalms511 and SparkleEyes say Amen and like this.
  17. When I last spoke to her, my words are falling on deaf ears. I think in a way she is blaming me.
    If she contacts me again, I will reiterate what I have said previously.
  18. It wouldn't surprise me if you two are just growing apart. It happens. But as Lance said, if she's engaged to be married, there are boundaries one must put up when being friends with the opposite sex.
  19. The devil loves these types of situations. If she is engaged, and you respect her, I would recommend you to stop hanging out with her. How does her fiancee feel about it?
  20. Well it appears that they have now seperated. Perhaps she thinks there is a chance of a relationship spawning with me?
    By now, she must get the idea that I am not interested.
    Get behind me Satan!

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