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Forrest Gump goes to Heaven

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Who am I, Mar 8, 2008.

  1. Forrest Gump goes to Heaven


    The day finally arrived.

    Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.

    He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and
    Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

    St. Peter said,

    'Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you.
    We have heard a lot about you.
    I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone.
    The test is short, but you have to pass it
    before you can get into Heaven.'

    Forrest responds,

    'It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir.
    But, nobody ever told me about any entrance exam.
    I sure hope that the test ain't too hard.
    Life was a big enough test as it was.'

    St. Peter continued,

    'Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.


    What two days of the week begin with the letter T?


    How many seconds are there in a year?


    What is God's first name?'

    Forrest leaves to think the questions over.
    He returns the next day and
    sees St. Peter,
    who waves him up, and says,
    'Now that you have had a chance to think
    the questions over, tell me your answers'

    Forrest replied,

    'Well, the first one --
    which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'?
    Shucks, that one is easy.
    That would be Today and Tomorrow.'

    The Saint's eyes opened wide and
    he exclaimed,
    'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but
    you do have a point, and
    I guess I did not specify, so
    I will give you credit for that answer.'
    'How about the next one?' asked St. Peter
    'How many seconds in a year?

    Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, but
    I thunk and thunk about that, and
    I guess the only answer can be twelve.'

    Astounded, St. Peter said,

    'Twelve? Twelve?
    Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?'

    Forrest replied,

    'Shucks, there's got to be twelve:
    January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd .... '

    'Hold it,' interrupts St. Peter.
    'I see where you are going with this, and
    I see your point,
    though that was not quite what I had in mind ... but
    I will have to give you credit for that one, too.
    Let us go on with the third and final question.
    Can you tell me God's first name'?

    'Sure,' Forrest replied,

    'it's Andy.'


    exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter.
    'Ok, I can understand how you
    came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?'

    'Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,'
    Forrest replied.
    'I learnt it from the song,




    St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said:

    'Run Forrest, run!'

    Give me a sense of humor, Lord.

    Give me the ability to understand a clean joke,

    To get some humor out of life,

    And to pass it on to other folks
  2. Why would St. Peter already be in heaven prior to the final day of judgement?

    Is it because of the office of the keys?

    How did he get there prior to Forest?

    It that what it means that the dead shall rise first?

    I didn't know there was going to be a test. :(

    Are you SURE about this?

    What if I don't pass.

    Will we get these same questions?

    Are these the correct answers?

    Will I get kicked out for cheating if I memorize them?

    Thanks alot Who am I.....

    Now I'm all messed up. :D
  3. I heard they changed the test a little.

    It now has questions that require you to use “NEW MATH”!!! :eek:

    I had a hard enough time with the old math. :D
  4. Oh great.

    Yea, try home schooling.

    I had a three hour class on the Augsburg Confesssion Article 14 this morning and it was the inspiration to my last post. :D
  5. forest gump would get to heaven,the unselfish acts he did,were worthy.:D
  6. "Have you found Jesus Forest?"

    "Aye didn't no I wus supposed to be lookin for him Leutennant Dayon." :D

    ....I just love that line!

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