"For theirs is the kingdom of Heaven..." I got this in an e-mail and thought I'd share. It's adorable! ************** GOD'S WATCHING --- BUT IS HE IN CONTROL OF THE KIDS? I was telling my seven year old Sunday School class of the Good Samaritan; beaten, robbed, left for dead --- in vivid detail so they would catch the drama. "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?" A wide-eyed little girl broke the silence, "'Probably cry a lot and then maybe dial 911 then throw up." STORY OF ELIJAH My Sunday School teacher's brother was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal; how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces, and laid it upon the altar then commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times. "Now," said my brother, "tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?" Nobody moved until little girl waved her hand and said with considerable confidence, "To make the gravy?" LOT'S WIFE My wife, a Pastor, was describing to a gathering of children how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt. "That happens a lot --- my Mummy looked back once, while she was driving," 8 year old Melissa announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a parked car and a fire hydrant!" DID NOAH FISH? Learning about how long the ark floated, a member of my Catechism Class asked, "Do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?" "No!" replied an exasperated little girl, before I could reply. "How could he, Silly, with just two worms . and they were, like, real important!" HIGHER POWER I said to my gathered church children, "We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?" One child blurted out, "Aces! And if they're 'wild,' Deuces too." SUNDAY SCHOOL Our nine year old Joey was asked at the dinner table what he had learned in Sunday school. "Well, Mom, 'how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved." "Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked. "Well, no, Mom. But, (leaning forward, looking around, and then whispering) if I told it the way Sister Laura did --- Wow! --- you'd never believe it!" THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD My young son's church class was memorizing the most quoted passage in the Bible; Psalm 23 --- a month was given to learn the verse. Little Toby, then age seven, was excited but just couldn't remember it; he could barely get past the first line. On the day scheduled to recite their Psalm in front of the congregation Toby was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my shepherd --- and (sticking out his chin) that's all I need to know." JESUS IS EVERYWHERE Our little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. "Mama, I don't want to. It's dark." My wife smiled reassuringly. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark. Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you." The five year old thought for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it open a little. Squinting into the darkness, he carefully held his upturned palm near the small opening and loudly whispered, "Jesus, would you please hand me the broom?"