For all the grandmas

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Dusty, Apr 3, 2008.

  1. For all the grandmas

    Myyoung grandson called the other day to wish me Happy
    Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62."

    He was quiet for a moment, and then he
    asked, "Did you start at 1?"

    After putting her grandchildren to bed,
    a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse
    and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children
    getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.
    Finally, she threw a towel around her
    head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed
    with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the
    three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

    A grandmother was telling her little
    granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to
    skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it
    hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We
    picked wild raspberries in the woods."

    The little girl was wide-eyed, taking
    this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to
    know you sooner!"

    My grandson was visiting one day when he
    asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I
    mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we

    "You're both old," he replied.

    &nbs p; A little girl was diligently pounding
    away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she
    was writing a story.
    "What's it a bout?" he asked.

    "I don't know," she replied. "I can't


    She was in the bathroom, putting on her
    makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter
    as she 'd done many times before. After she applied her
    lipstick and started to leave, the little one said,
    "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"


    I didn't know if my granddaughter had
    learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would
    point out something and ask what color it was. She would
    tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I
    At last she headed for the door, saying

    "Grandma, I think you should try to
    figure out some of these yourself!"

    When my grandson Billy and I entered our
    vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside
    to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few
    fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy

    "It's no use, Grand pa. The mosquitoes
    are coming after us with

    When my grandson asked me how old I was,
    I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure."

    "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he
    advised. "Mine says I'm four to six."
    A second grader came home from school
    and said to her gran dmother,

    "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to
    make babies today."

    The grandmother, more than a little
    surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she
    said, "how do you make babies?"

    "It's simple," replied the girl. "You
    just change 'y' to 'i' and add
    'es.' "

    ******************** ***********************************
    Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence
    about a public servant," said a teacher.

    The small boy wrote: "The fireman came
    down the ladder pregnant."

    The teacher took the lad aside to
    correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she

    "Sure," said the young boy con-

    fidently. "It means carrying a child."

    A nursery school teacher was delivering
    a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck
    zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a
    Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's

    "They use him to keep crowds back," said
    one child.

    "No," said another, "h e's just for good

    A third child brought the argument to a
    close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the
    fire hydrants."

  2. HMMM I think the grandapaws like em too!:)
  3. OOPs ....... sorry grandpa.:eek::eek::eek::eek:
  4. Sweet, funny, true...... Enjoyed very much. Thanks (from a GP)

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