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Fiance And Ex-boyfriend

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Faith Moves, Apr 4, 2014.

  1. Good evening fellow Christians,

    I have been in a relationship with my fiancé for a little over two years just engaged this year and we love each other very much. About a year ago, her ex-boyfriend (they broke up some years ago from her hometown) texted her asking for another chance and she told him no that she is in a loving relationship now and does not want anything else like that with him. She showed me the texts that he sent because she said that she loves me and will not hide anything from me. A few months ago, he texted her again, and while I was at work she emailed me just to let me know, so that she won't hide anything. She said that he doesn't want anything that he understands she is in a relationship and was just checking up on her to see how things are going. She was telling me how his mother had surgery and that his mom was doing fine. She said that she doesn't hold grudges and remains friends with him but nothing more that she would never allow anything to get past that between the two. And by the way, she is a big time believer in God and a woman of faith. On the way to the movies one night, as we were driving his name came up on the blue tooth screen in her car, as she told me all of the conversations are casual, as they are friends (dated him for 5 years before me) and I have nothing to worry about. Now, she wants to fly home and visit her family (he lives back at her home town). Should I be worried or am I blowing this out of proportion? She is a great person and just doesn't seem like she would cheat. I am 28 years old and she is 29.. opinions guys, help me out.
     
  2. Have you expressed your concerns?
     
  3. You said she's a big time believer in God and a woman of faith. The question is, where is your faith?
     
    Cody Johnson, ElliDV, Ravindran and 2 others say Amen and like this.
  4. How do I know she is not trying to get back with him and how do I know she is not playing me for a fool. Like I said, she is not the type to do that and I understand they known each other for 5 years and are just friends now, but is it ok for them to text at least once a week? She said that she hasn't changed her number because it is expensive and that she can't help who texts her and that its ok to be friends with your ex as long as its nothing more.. Should I feel disrespected?
     
  5. Where is right.

    You are going to drive yourself nuts if you entertain such disparaging thoughts. You stated that your wife is a woman of faith, that she loves you. I would take her at her word and leave it at that.

    A couple questions; what does she get out of still being friends with her ex? What type of casual conversations are they having? Has she talked to God about whether or not she should keep her ex in her life?

    Stay blessed my friend.
     
  6. I'm not sure what conversations they are having.. and according to her they are just friends..
     
  7. Personally, I wouldn't worry about it. If your wife is a woman of faith, she will be fine :)
     
    Ravindran likes this.
  8. It is ok to ask...as long as you do not lord it over her. Asking will get this out of your system and keep it from building up into something that will truly be damaging later down the road.
     
  9. 2 years now?

    Marry the girl...
     
    Apologia, Ravindran and Where is the Messiah says Amen and like this.
  10. Yes, in a relationship for a little over two years and engaged a few months.. and you guys don't think I should feel disrespected and concerned at all? I felt fine yesterday and did not talk to her about it as I felt it would be a waste of time and should just not worry about it
     
  11. I don't know the history of you guys, but if she has never cheated on you, then she should feel disrespected. But if she has cheated on you then I understand that you guys might be working on trust issues.
     
  12. If you can't talk to her about it then you might not ought be engaged...? Just a thought.

    -OR-

    You need to find out what kind of man you want to be when you die and start living it...
     
  13. I just went upstairs late night and she was on the phone with another guy, that she claim is her cousin. I said don't mind me I'm going to bed and she went down stairs saying she didn't want to disturb me while I sleep which she never has done before. Then she accidentally pressed speaker on the phone and I heard a male voice. And that's funny because the first time I seen her on the phone moments before I asked her if that was her female cousin on the phone and she said yes, so I said "tell Alecia I said hey"... Any thoughts now?
     
  14. Not good at all. Did you confront her about the lie?
     
  15. #15 Faith Moves, Apr 16, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2014
    Yes, she said "don't you have female cousins, I have male cousins, gee sweetheart you have no faith in me" but it is midnight so why would he be on the phone with her? Honestly, do you guys think it really could be her cousin.. she has NEVER left to go downstairs to talk on the phone before.
     
  16. You guys live together?
     
  17. Yes we do, she slept on my chest last night.. help me out, because I don't want to make a decision based on wrongful facts...
     
  18. #18 Where is the Messiah, Apr 16, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2014
    Yeah, you should probably be worried.

    I'm no saint, but I think I know when God will bless a situation, and when he wont. I recommend stop living with an unmarried woman. Either marry her or move out.

    If you want to know my opinion about her talking to her "cousin," it seems like you might already have the answer you're looking for, but just want conformation.

    Okay, so even though you are living in sin by being with her and not being married, I'm still going to give you good advice. My advice is this, even when you do marry this woman treat her like it's the first date. Always be on guard, and assume other guys are going to try and woo your lady away. This will help you to understand her value, and understand the importance of respecting her. If you are always loving her and treating her with respect, you will never have to worry about other guys talking to her. Women are all about emotions, and if you are taking care of her emotional needs, and being a Godly man, there will be nothing that other guy can do to take her away from you.
     
  19. She is living with me but my name is on the rent which I pay.. and if I do already have the answer I'm looking for then why should I move forward with her if she is cheating on me by talking to another guy? And emotional needs? I do everything for her....
     
  20. That's what I am saying, you've already came to the conclusion that she is cheating on you. The question is, how are you going to handle the situation?
     

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