Feeling Used but can't speak up (sorta long)

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Lolly, Jan 19, 2009.

  1. Feeling Used but can't speak up (sorta long)

    This is about a friendship...

    I know I should really should speak up to her, but out of all people she is the first person I find it really hard to speak up too, normally I'm the type to speak my mind... I know that she can make my time here where I live, a living hell, I'm not lying I've seen her do it before.

    Let me give you a little background, because you might be like 'HUH?' so here is the long side...

    When we moved here (my husband and I live in a Town house, its in an apartment complex, we have a top and bottom floor) Well, this lady would talk with my husband, but really not to me, we made some friends here, and happen to make some friends that she is friends with, and she ended up telling them that we were not trust worthy. Well I didn't know this until recently. Well finally she warmed up to me, and we became really good friends, then I started watching her son, I never once asked her for a dime, and I never will. Well we started hanging out A-LOT! We did Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years Eve together.

    Well on New years day, her and I were suppose to make a 4 day trip to San Antonio Texas, and come New years day, I waited, and I called her, and she said that she was still waiting on her boss to call. Well I went to another friends apartment who is like right across from me, and my husband was home so he could get the call if she called, well my friend was telling me that she called and told them, that they were going to Houston (I live an hour and a half from Houston) well she never called me to tell me this. Well then they ended up not going, then later, me and my friend (lets call this friend Bob) Bob and I went to the grocery store, and came back (because at this time Bob and his room mate (we will call him Ralph) Ralph, invited us over for New years eve dinner, and when Bob and I came back from the store, Ralph told me that (we will call her Jane) Jane called him, and asked him when he had to go back to work, Ralph told Jane, and Jane asked if Ralph could go to san antonio with her, that it only cost $10.00 to fill up her car. Ralph said "Well Melly (which is me) really was looking forward to going with you" and Jane said "Well I'm not really sure".

    Well ever since this I been a bit distance from her because I get the feeling shes really not a friend...

    I never spoke with Jane about this.

    I am how ever going to try to have a nice talk with her tomorrow... I tried to give her a 2nd chance last night, by inviting her over for dinner alone with her husband and son, and she turned around and kept on talking bad about my other friends that were here as well. She doesn't even know my other friend and her husband, but she is so hateful to her, and the real reason is because her and I are friends, and she can't stand it...

    Well it was a nice dinner, besides that part, and anytime she ever comes around, is if someone is offering her something. She comes over when I freely take care of her son while she goes and work, I mean I could charge her, but I knew they were going through a rough time, they borrowed money from Bob and Ralph, and still hasn't paid them back... When I started baby sitting her kid, I knew it was going to be for free, and honestly at the time I did not mind, because she helped me in return a lot, and I felt it was an equal thing, now its me 100% and her 0%... Usually when I invite them over for dinner she comes to help me out with the dinner, but she didn't this time.

    She told me when I started watching her kid that she would buy some snacks and food to bring over to help me out a bit, but she still hasn't and I will chat with her about that... I feel used...

    Like today, we go to church together, and well usually she calls and makes sure I'm up and ready to go. She didn't call which really didn't bother me... But at church she didn't even say a word to me... After church was over, I reached to get my purse and stuff, and she was gone... I'm like WHAT? I cooked them a nice dinner, and all I got was take take take, I didn't even get a thanks for the meal... URG... I'm really kinda annoyed, but at the same time, I need my apartment, I don't want to put myself in a spot where I hate living here.

    Another example of how rude she can be at times... Friday, I was suppose to watch her son like always, and I got up early got ready, got my house in order, and ready for the little guy, and the time she was suppose to be here, she wasn't, I thought she was just running late, by 12 I started to get worried, so I went to her apartment and knocked, and no one was there, so I called the front office, and she answers, and she said "UH, he is at *insert other neighbors name here* house" I said "Well it would have been nice to know?" and she said "I had to take my dog to the vet this morning and he was watching cartoons so I left him there" and I was like "Ok, so you couldn't knock on my door and say "He is next door?" and she said "I was running late" and I was like "So you couldn't have called me?" and she said "I didn't have ur number" but I was talking to another neighbor the one that Jane doesn't like, and she said she seen Jane over there 4 times, so why didn't she knock on my door?

    Thursday night, her husband called me and asked me to watch there son for an hour, I figured its just an hour, well that hour turned in to 3 hours, and when I called to see where they were, they didn't answer there call... I was heated then... I won't ever do that again...

    Why do I have to be so darn nice? I mean I could be really rude... but its not in me to do it with her, I know the power in the office she has, and I need my home...
     
  2. people are very busy these days.seems like she is the same in business and at home.i would say do stuff you have a good heart doing,if she is making you wish you had never started tell her.explain the situation.don,t keep doing things out of sufferance.seems she needs help.
     

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