Hello, my name is Andrew and I'm having a tremendously difficult time figuring out what i should do. This will be a long post just warning you. I know that people from the internet can not give me certain advice but I'm just asking for help and maybe some experience from other people. I went to high school with a girl named Jess and we each had crushes on Each other but didn't tell. I eventually moved away and we re connected through Facebook. After talking and calling each other for weeks she came down to visit me and that's when we decided to get in a relationship. She moved down here and has a place of her own. We dated for about two years and she was Mormon but after i confessed my concerns about it she decided to leave that church. We are both Christian though i admit we are very weak. Meaning we got very distracted and hardly ever spent any time with God together. Also we made a promise to not have sex (though she is not a virgin, she didn't really become Christian until she was about twenty) we did everything but technically have sex. We become too intimate and i had to tell her that we needed to stop. Its complicated to explain but through some events which i am not proud of my parents found out that i had been disrespecting them through texting with my girlfriend. I really was being selfish and didn't fully realize it and i cried to them and asked them to forgive me and that i was sorry. They did forgive me but they will not forgive Jess. It's to the point where they hate her and say that they will get a restraining order on her if she keeps coming back. I hate this because we are both guilty of the same bad things said about my parents but i feel like they only forgave me because I'm their son. It makes it more difficult because I'm twenty two and unfortunately still live with them and am working and going to college. They had been telling me we were not good for each other and a few months ago we broke up and didn't talk for about a month and a half. I feel so awful like I'm making a mistake that I'm only breaking up with her because of what my parents want. They feel like i can find someone better but I've put so much heart into her. As cliche as it seems or sounds we literally have everything in common to the extent that i can't do anything without being reminded of her. She does come from a bad family and has made some wrong choices in life but i look past those mistakes and i feel like my parents can't do that. Lust has been my biggest weakness and I've struggled with masturbation for years. We have done sexual things together but not actually had sex but i felt so bad about that and I've asked god to forgive me. I haven't used pornography or masturbated for a few days when before i couldn't make it a day without it. I'm getting back in touch with the Lord because I've been distracted from him. I'm afraid to trust in my feelings because i don't know if i truly love her or I'm in an infatuation or that i am afraid of what my family will say. We talked recently and we hung out and i had the best time i was happy and i felt right to be together again just as friends. I still love her and she told me she still loves me. I pray to god for guidance and patience. What can i do? I'm afraid to trust my feelings.