Fear Of Being Forever Unclean/ Need Spiritual Guidance

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by NeedOfHelp, Mar 29, 2014.

  1. (Mature content)

    For warning I’m sorry if this does not belong. I wasn’t 100% clear on this particular topic, if it was okay or not, but seeing other related questions in a way makes me think in this light it is “okay” to post this here. I’ve tried to clean it up the best I know.

    First off, I’m asking here because I don’t want anyone I know personally to know whats been going on. However, I need spiritual help and this I must turn to people that are unbiased and don’t know me. Plus I think knowing that someone knows, and might be able to help me will calm my nerves.

    For years I had been a devote Christian and doing things right. Not doing anything bad or wrong like the typical teenager. However, a few years ago I had to go to the ER which later needed surgery for. During one of the examinations, I was internally checked. Any women knows what I mean if they have been to the ER for pain in that area. Anyways, unfortunately I think it was satans test now that I look back. Afterwards I began seeking these new feelings I had. It ended me being interested in graphics of the unchristian sort, not real human to human, but cartoon versions of people. At first it was mere curiosity, but came into an addiction. I would preview every other week, as I knew it was wrong for me. However always at the end I usually enacted on the viewings afterwards.

    Skip to the rough preset or a few months ago. I dated for the first time in years. At the time I thought nothing of it, but looking back I realized I was being sucked into giving up my morals little by little. He was a great guy there is no dought. However, he was NOT a spiritual leader. He would tempt me to try new things, or be all “you can’t do it”. So one night I failed the biggest test of all. I allowed him to enter, but not much past that. Which now makes me “unclean”.

    A month later after having a kidney stone the moment I left his house the same day. I realized how stupid that was and how bad I had fallen. I have now left him.

    However, this has eaten me to the core. How could I have allowed my self to go down to the lowest low so easily? Or was it all a long I was being pruned into doing it?

    Now that it has happened, I need spiritual help.

    1- What can I do to help rest my anxiety over this? I’ve been preying a lot more now then I ever have. However, I still need more help scripturally.

    2- Does, having done this make me unclean? There for unwanted by a good Christian man down the road? And if so, what would be the best time to tell him of my failing the ultimate test? If there is a way to become clean again, what is it and how might one do it? (I’ve already been baptized)

    3- How do I go about life without thinking about what I’ve done everytime I try to go to bed? How do I go about my life as the “good” Christian I used to be before my fall?

    4- Can one go up to the front of the church (which is a simi common tradition in my church background) and say I have sinned and need prayers, without really actually telling them all that’s gone down?

    I thank you for any help in advance. This has eaten away at me for weeks now, and I know I need some advice. I need prayers, verses, and thoughts.

    Thank you,

    I the lords love,

  2. I am trying to understand exactly what you did.

    Masturbating to some cartoons? End up having sex with some guy?

    Having done this make you unclean?

    The blood of Jesus is more powerful than anything you could have done, and yet you ask if your still unclean?

    Your issue has nothing to do with what you done, or who you had sex with. Your issue is that you never put the Word of God first place enough to know what it even says.

    Stop worrying, and start learning. Your only issue is that you lack lots of knowledge about God and how he thinks. It's never about you or what you did. It's about what Jesus did.

    Listen/Watch these. It's called Not Guilty!!! Get learning.

  3. 1. Know Jesus Christ is your savior and we are all sinners. Know that God died for you and wants you to lead a better life.

    2. The act itself was unclean, but it doesn't cancel God's love for you. Just tell God what you did was wrong and that you are sorry. Repentance is an important part of being a Christian. Recognize your mistakes and listen to the Holy Spirit next time.

    Romans 8:38-39
    For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

    3. There is no such thing as a Good Christian. We have all fallen short, and need to change. God only accepts perfection, which none of us can achieve. Just let the Holy Spirit help you and show God you really love him.

    4. It is up to you. All of us here can pray for you. But please know your sin is not bigger than God's love and mercy through Christ.

    I believe you have the Holy Spirit because you are so convicted about this, and that is wonderful! Now you just need to listen to him and let him help you lead a life of worship and obedience, not because you it saves you, but because you love God. :D

    Just thank God every day, because he has already blessed us all more than we can ever imagine by giving us his one and only son! :love:

    I used to masturbate alot, but God has gotten rid of all desire to do so. It becomes easier once you realize how it affects your relationship with him.

    God bless! In Jesus Christ we have peace! :)
    AllieWi likes this.
  4. "However, a few years ago I had to go to the ER which later needed surgery for. During one of the examinations, I was internally checked. Any women knows what I mean if they have been to the ER for pain in that area. Anyways, unfortunately I think it was satans test now that I look back."

    Are you saying you got an STD here, and that is why you're worried about being unclean for a future husband?

    I pretty much agree with what MichaelH is saying. I would like to add this verse:
    "Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven--as her great love has shown." - Luke 7:47

    Repent, love your Lord, and known you are forgiven. And for the future also remember:

    15 If you love me, keep my commands.16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocateto help you and be with you forever—17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be[c] in you.18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.19 Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me.Because I live, you also will live.20 On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you.21 Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.”

    22 Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, “But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?”

    23 Jesus replied, Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. 24 Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.

    Isn't it interesting how many times our Lord says the same thing in one passage?
  5. GOOD NEWS! Jesus loves you no matter what.

    Also-it is not really a biblical principal to go telling all your sins publicly to the church body: that is unless it is something that would directly effect the foundation of the Church. But this does not qualify as that monumental. Confess to God-like the Bible says. Not to man like a religion says.

    Look-you are not 'pure' anymore; that is a sad truth. But you can be 'renewed' by the power and blood of Christ. Start today by 'putting away childish things'; or in other words it's time to grow up.

    There are plenty of folks who have messed up their lives physically; displeasing the Lord (like myself), but it is the spiritual heart that God looks into. I sense you have a this type of heart by seeking help here. The best thing you can do is get into a Bible based women's counseling group near you. It does not necessarily have to be 'in your church'. We are all Brothers and Sisters in Christ are we not?

    READ and STUDY what the Bible says about your situation; then act upon. God can and will use you if you are willing.

    'Sin is pleasurable for a season'; let that season in this area of your life pass.

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