I wanted to praise God for such a beautiful answer to prayer.
My fiancé is a very old school, old fashion guy. He appreciated people who do work hard. I mean "hard." My older daughter is the epitome of mini me as far as her work ethics go and drive.
He cannot stand laziness. People that won't even try to make an attempt to be functional in society. He also knows my oldest does do alot more than my youngest daughter.
My youngest daughter has challenges and she I believe is on the Autism Spectrum. We all have dyslexia if you can believe it. She had no parathyroid either due to the rare genetic disease we all have all inherited genetically [only 24 Canadians have it across Canada]. My youngest seems to have gotten the worse of it. She gets tired more quickly, forgets ALOT, can't read facial cues ie. She is very very different in their thinking process - has very limited understanding of consequences. Cause & effect. Difficulty being consistent. She's has no filter lol! Thinking before speaking - what's that?
Anyhow. My fiancé always takes my oldest out to do errands. They have a very special bond. He does have time with my youngest but he struggles to connect with her because they don't quite see eye to eye. Me - I come down on her level. We have so many giggles and laughs. I know I still have to adapt and understand she isn't at a 20 year level but that of a 12 year old. She does the very best she can and I praise her for that.
I think he has a difficult time understanding. He's getting there. She does things like forgetting the oven and to turn it off. Sneaking on her phone during the time when we have discussed no phone due to it majorly distracting her routine. Her routine has to be consistent, reminded and if she is doing something she likes [she hyper focuses and everything is forgotten] or refuses to do it altogether like watching TV, phone, puzzles or crafts. Like you cannot even get her attention - at all!
Growing up we were told once. There were no repeats. You respected and you got up immediately to do what you are asked. So my youngest presented alot of challenges when raising her.
My fiance is starting to understand how to equally enjoy and bless each relationship with my daughters. Yesterday he went out of his way and got my youngest a roll out puzzle saver. It meant SO much to her. My oldest said yep Dad said that Mom always says if you buy for one - you buy for the other. It has to be equal. You cannot do one. There's enough love to go around. I mean I know there are times you want to bless one child that's fine but if it's random there should be that kindness to bless both. I always ensure both are equally loved, thought of, blessed and I have never thought one more highly then the other.
If I get a treat for one the other gets one too. It has always been that way. Both of them SHARE everything! They share with others too. If they get something they always ask would you like some? Even my PSWs - they order pizza and offer. Please take some. Spread the love and the joy. Bless others unconditionally and without hesitation.
When I go to thrift stores I look to see what i can find my fiancé. Whether a movie or something he would appreciate.
Since we went yesterday we found such cheap deals on DVDs we got him. My youngest found brand new jeans so cheap. My oldest found fabric and a bag to use for pattern.
I struggle with favoritism because I have 2 step sisters and 1 step brother. My Dad did so much more for them. They had a beautiful house, a pool, everything at their disposal. My Dad would purposely show Christmas videos of "their" family Christmas and ofcourse I wasn't involved. I got to see the hugs it made me feel like such an outsider. Seeing how much of a family they were. My Dad and I never had a relationship. I never had that Father's love. I wasn't ever that daughter that felt protected and cherished. But they did.
Coming back to my fiancé it was such a testimony of God softening his heart. Seeing with spiritual eyes. Being tender, soft and understanding. He is changing and transforming. Once he would be so upset and now there's no anger. He just gently guides her to the oven and says - it was on. My daughter ofcourse gets SO upset that she forgot. We all have to work together to help and encourage her. Seeing how sensitive my fiancé has become towards my youngest makes me love him even more. He gives her a huge hug and he's starting to find that common ground where they can talk and connect. I understand my oldest is easier to connect with. She's 23 in a 38 mind set. She's very mature and spiritually wise.
I am thanking the Lord in my humble little family things are changing. The fruits are being produced spiritually. The face of a man that used to be so hard and rough around the edges is softening as God changes his heart to flesh
. We all want God to change us to be more like Him. To exhibit His character and attributes. To follow God's Word.
Often times we need to remember to live the bible not only for society out there but to our families. To be the witness, the example and to contiune to uplift them as well. We are all learning, knowing, growing as we mature in Christ and follow Him.
I hope this encourages someone today.
Warmly in Christ,
TiC
My fiancé is a very old school, old fashion guy. He appreciated people who do work hard. I mean "hard." My older daughter is the epitome of mini me as far as her work ethics go and drive.
He cannot stand laziness. People that won't even try to make an attempt to be functional in society. He also knows my oldest does do alot more than my youngest daughter.
My youngest daughter has challenges and she I believe is on the Autism Spectrum. We all have dyslexia if you can believe it. She had no parathyroid either due to the rare genetic disease we all have all inherited genetically [only 24 Canadians have it across Canada]. My youngest seems to have gotten the worse of it. She gets tired more quickly, forgets ALOT, can't read facial cues ie. She is very very different in their thinking process - has very limited understanding of consequences. Cause & effect. Difficulty being consistent. She's has no filter lol! Thinking before speaking - what's that?
Anyhow. My fiancé always takes my oldest out to do errands. They have a very special bond. He does have time with my youngest but he struggles to connect with her because they don't quite see eye to eye. Me - I come down on her level. We have so many giggles and laughs. I know I still have to adapt and understand she isn't at a 20 year level but that of a 12 year old. She does the very best she can and I praise her for that.
I think he has a difficult time understanding. He's getting there. She does things like forgetting the oven and to turn it off. Sneaking on her phone during the time when we have discussed no phone due to it majorly distracting her routine. Her routine has to be consistent, reminded and if she is doing something she likes [she hyper focuses and everything is forgotten] or refuses to do it altogether like watching TV, phone, puzzles or crafts. Like you cannot even get her attention - at all!
Growing up we were told once. There were no repeats. You respected and you got up immediately to do what you are asked. So my youngest presented alot of challenges when raising her.
My fiance is starting to understand how to equally enjoy and bless each relationship with my daughters. Yesterday he went out of his way and got my youngest a roll out puzzle saver. It meant SO much to her. My oldest said yep Dad said that Mom always says if you buy for one - you buy for the other. It has to be equal. You cannot do one. There's enough love to go around. I mean I know there are times you want to bless one child that's fine but if it's random there should be that kindness to bless both. I always ensure both are equally loved, thought of, blessed and I have never thought one more highly then the other.
If I get a treat for one the other gets one too. It has always been that way. Both of them SHARE everything! They share with others too. If they get something they always ask would you like some? Even my PSWs - they order pizza and offer. Please take some. Spread the love and the joy. Bless others unconditionally and without hesitation.
When I go to thrift stores I look to see what i can find my fiancé. Whether a movie or something he would appreciate.
Since we went yesterday we found such cheap deals on DVDs we got him. My youngest found brand new jeans so cheap. My oldest found fabric and a bag to use for pattern.
I struggle with favoritism because I have 2 step sisters and 1 step brother. My Dad did so much more for them. They had a beautiful house, a pool, everything at their disposal. My Dad would purposely show Christmas videos of "their" family Christmas and ofcourse I wasn't involved. I got to see the hugs it made me feel like such an outsider. Seeing how much of a family they were. My Dad and I never had a relationship. I never had that Father's love. I wasn't ever that daughter that felt protected and cherished. But they did.
Coming back to my fiancé it was such a testimony of God softening his heart. Seeing with spiritual eyes. Being tender, soft and understanding. He is changing and transforming. Once he would be so upset and now there's no anger. He just gently guides her to the oven and says - it was on. My daughter ofcourse gets SO upset that she forgot. We all have to work together to help and encourage her. Seeing how sensitive my fiancé has become towards my youngest makes me love him even more. He gives her a huge hug and he's starting to find that common ground where they can talk and connect. I understand my oldest is easier to connect with. She's 23 in a 38 mind set. She's very mature and spiritually wise.
I am thanking the Lord in my humble little family things are changing. The fruits are being produced spiritually. The face of a man that used to be so hard and rough around the edges is softening as God changes his heart to flesh
. We all want God to change us to be more like Him. To exhibit His character and attributes. To follow God's Word.Often times we need to remember to live the bible not only for society out there but to our families. To be the witness, the example and to contiune to uplift them as well. We are all learning, knowing, growing as we mature in Christ and follow Him.
I hope this encourages someone today.
Warmly in Christ,
TiC
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