Family Problems

Discussion in 'Family and Parenting' started by Joel1982, Apr 19, 2014.

  1. Here goes. Hi i'm 30 I still struggle with finding work or even friends for that matter. I grew up in what most people consider to be very difficult situations. I had an older brother that for my entire life wanted almost nothing to do with me. Hated me when I was young. Ended up turning my Aunt and Uncle against me and generally just ignored any feelings I had. Later in life he continued and eventually even stole a girlfriend of mine when I was in my teens and later married her. I have a dad that has always been utterly unwilling too deal with the situation. He has completely copped out of it. My dad was quite abusive growing up. Had a horrible temper. Would drag us into church and come home livid. Never drank. Which is about all I can really say. He spent next to literally no time being involved in my life growing up. I struggled through high school. Fought depression and still am. I have had to realize he literally wants nothing to do with me. I just feeling very lost. I decided not to go for easter because I know if I stay for too long he starts getting extremely angry. How am I suppose to feel like God is loving and I have struggled with this since my teens if my dad is utterly unforgiving.
  2. I feel for you. Times are so bad it can be quite overwhelming. Every day is a battle. The more spiritually strong we are the better we are able to cope with challanges with face. I focus on keeping my faith strong even when i'm feeling weak. At my worst times, i wait on the Lord. The waiting times are hardest when i'm at a loss and awaiting an end to what i'm going through. When it seems there's nothing more i can do , when things are out of my hands. But through it all God is with me, i trust in Him, knowing He will work all things out for good.
    Do you have a church community or perhaps find a good one where you can speak to a pastor face to face who can guide you and give you words of strength and encouragement.
    I've experienced horrible family problems from a young age. But only God can set us free. My family is still far from perfect but things can greatly improve even if you are the only one to change. You seem like a good person anyway but it is us who need the strength for the family. Once you have that strength you will deal with things better. From my experience a good church is a good place to start, getting a good relationship with God then everything else can fall unto place. You will have more confidence in yourself as a result. You will feel lighter and uplifted. It could be such an important start for you.
    ramblingvagabond likes this.
  3. I did have a great church but the pastor got caught in adultery and died of a heart attack shortly thereafter.
  4. There are sooo many churches.
  5. I want you to be encouraged Joel. I had a horrible childhood, the last time I spoke with my dad he said he wanted nothing to do with me. At the time he said that, it was very hurtful. That was back in 1996 and I never has spoken to him since (Though I will here soon)

    What I keep in mind is that I have a better Father, a real one and my Father makes planets. Saved my son of cancer, kept me out of life in prison, paid my bills, kept my marriage together, and the list goes on.

    I have grown and learned not to care what others think but to just love them. I have a real family full of brothers and sisters now who hear God and help me when God directs them to. One of them just out of the blue handed me 1,000 dollars yesterday and I only asked my Father in Heaven for the money to cover a bills. This person never even knew about it, but obeyed God to give the money to me.

    I tell God that I know he is a good father and would never give up on me. My Father in heaven has never let me down, not one time, He always has come through time and time again. Even when I blow it, he comes to get me out. (Which is most of my testimonies for things I did wrong)

    Open your bible and read all the good things your Father in heaven said about you. He said he would protect your family, heal you, meet your needs, perfect all those things your concerned about......... Even the issues with your Bio dad. (My son calls me Bio Dad, as He tells me He has only one real Father)

    Instead of trying to figure out how to fix the fractured natural family, get to know your real Father and ask him to fix things for you. Lean on him, get your joy from him.
    As you grow, you will start to care less what others do, or how they treat you. You know that if your Father in Heaven be for you, there is no force in earth or hell that can be against you.

    ramblingvagabond likes this.
  6. I think when you are touched by the Lord, you will know how much He loves you

    but the question is Joel, have you formerly committed to the Lord? Have you genuinely invited Jesus into your life?

    if not, that is the first step you have to take.

    after that, you just have to remember God is your Dad in heaven, you are allowed to voice your disappointment in life or even in Him to Him, and ask Him to help you.

    But I can assure our heavenly Father is not like your earthly father you have just described, He will never let you down.

    God Bless
    Heart_for_Christ likes this.
  7. Hi Joel. Every family is different so take my advice with a grain of salt. I turned my back on my family long ago, and it's the best thing that I've ever done. Sometimes bonds of blood strangle us instead of binding us together. Consider how much happiness, comfort, or other positive things that you get from your family and if it's worth the crap that comes with it. If not, ditch 'em brother........
  8. Hi Joel, thanks for sharing with us. Life is tough, and I very sorry to hear the struggles you are going through.

    One thing to remember is not to let your relationship with your father distort your view of God. As someone said already
    I have also been through my fair share of family problems, and we may never know exactly why God allows some things to happen. But we can know for certain that He will use all things for our good as He promised in Romans 8:28.

    I don't agree that you should just ditch your family. You should pray for them and with the help of God forgive them. That may sound crazy, but it comes with such freedom. I had to pray for years before I could forgive my stepfather, and I still struggle with feelings of anger and resentment towards him sometimes. But by the grace of God that is not something that dominates my thoughts anymore.

    I am praying for you, and I hope you can find a good church again.
    Heart_for_Christ likes this.
  9. Family is so important to God and He wants for families to be restored and united and through you He can reach to your family members. Just trust in Him and concentrate on who you are in the Lord and it will reflect onto your family. It's not easy, i've influenced a family member who has shown interest in Jesus and the door has been opened and so a seed has planted. But as with everything it is a process and things don't change overnight. This family member of mine still has difficulties and a long way to go but and our relationship can be strained but most of all we focus on our relationship with the Lord. Being there to help when we can but not letting them consume you with their stuff.
  10. You need to focus on two things - God, and your relationship with Him. Don't let Man (other people, even family) affect your life and your walk with the Lord. Pray often and read the Bible, and study on it. Your early childhood and family life has had a great negative effect on you. Thru God, all things are possible, including having a job and real friends. Don't give up. I will pray for you.

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