Here goes. Hi i'm 30 I still struggle with finding work or even friends for that matter. I grew up in what most people consider to be very difficult situations. I had an older brother that for my entire life wanted almost nothing to do with me. Hated me when I was young. Ended up turning my Aunt and Uncle against me and generally just ignored any feelings I had. Later in life he continued and eventually even stole a girlfriend of mine when I was in my teens and later married her. I have a dad that has always been utterly unwilling too deal with the situation. He has completely copped out of it. My dad was quite abusive growing up. Had a horrible temper. Would drag us into church and come home livid. Never drank. Which is about all I can really say. He spent next to literally no time being involved in my life growing up. I struggled through high school. Fought depression and still am. I have had to realize he literally wants nothing to do with me. I just feeling very lost. I decided not to go for easter because I know if I stay for too long he starts getting extremely angry. How am I suppose to feel like God is loving and I have struggled with this since my teens if my dad is utterly unforgiving.