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Etiquette and Common Courtesy

Discussion in 'Biblical Advices' started by Whirlwind, Jan 4, 2008.

  1. Etiquette and Common Courtesy

    A few years back (10 or 20), I was a beast! Rude, proud, boisterous. People who haven't seen me in a very long time can't believe the changes I have experienced with Christ in my life.

    I'm always on the constant lookout for ways to make my world around me a better place.

    Over the holidays, I noticed that many people treat cashiers very rudely. So I examined my own behavior and took some old rules and enforced them in my own life.

    1 - Look at the name-tag. Address them by that name.

    2 - They ask you "How are you today?" Reply honestly, and then return the favor by asking how they are.

    3 - When they thank you, tell them "You're welcome" and then bid them a good day.

    There are others that I try to follow...

    In a restaurant, don't be on the lookout at the tables around you for people who are eating with their mouths open, while they talk, shoveling food in, etc. Mind your own manners, Whirlwind...

    Always hold the door open for a lady (even if she might get angry with you for doing so:eek:)

    Be on the lookout for elders and try to help them in any way you can, Whirlwind...help them get things off of top shelves, politely ask a crowd to move aside so he/she can get through, etc.

    At work, tell everybody (not just the boss) good morning!:)

    Send thank-you notes for Christmas gifts.

    Anybody got more suggestions? I don't know why, but I like to lean to the old etiquette of days-gone-by. Customs that people may or may not do anymore.

    Kindness, I think, helps me to become a better Christian. It's all good and nice to feel polite on the inside, but when it comes out as action for another human being, it makes me feel Christ's love in my own heart.

    Manners? Anyone? What are some that you once saw that you might no longer see anymore?

  2. A novel idea. Treat people as you wish to be treated.
  3. Random acts of kindness!
  4. Excellent point WW:D
  5. I like this one, Whirlwind.... I wouldn't get mad. I would say thankyou. I take every kind act and acknowledge it. Nothing wrong with being kind. There are so many rude people out there so it stops them in their tracks when you are kind.
  6. correct,manners cost nothing.meaning everybody should use them often.:)
  7. WW, I seriously am always looking to help people.
    I have helped elderly people find their lost car in a parking lot.
    I always offer to help.
    One thing neighbors don't do much of is check on other neighbors....that is a very nice thing to do~
    Here is something else....don't wait for a homeless person to come to you~
    I personally know a man who is poor himself who was at McDonald's and took his own shoes off to give to a barefoot man~The man with him was telling him where to look for free shoes but this guy took his own off his feet and gave them....
    I'll tell you, I live in a neighborhood where these guys look like thugs, but......they never fail to address people by ma'am or sir...never judge a book by it's cover~

  8. This didn't happen to me, but a freind of mine.

    My freind was on a kind of mission trip in Manchester, and she brought a homeless man a Mcdonalds, then the homeless man went into mcdonalds because he wanted some ketchup, and they (mcdonalds) gave him another meal for free. :)
  9. That brought to mind a story that happened to me this past Oct. My friend and I took our missionary friend out for lunch and when Richard went to the W.R. I asked the waitress to put his lunch on my bill. When , Richard the missionary came back the owner of the restuarant came over and was very interested in his mission work and then told him his lunch was free. She came back after we had finished and we asked her if there was anything we could pray about for her and she let us stand in a circle , hold hands and we prayed in the restaurant full of people. Awsome.... You never know where the Holy Spirit will lead.
  10. That is so awesome, Sister Dusty~
  11. Heres one - if you are at the grocery store and you have a buggy/cart full of grocerys and the person behind you only has an item or two - let them go before you. I offered to do that the other day and the soldier looked at me with surprise but said no thank you ma'am (heh he was older than me too) and told me he had plenty of time. Its a small thing but it can really make a difference in someone's day that you took the time to notice them.
  12. Doing acts of kindness helps me get in tune with God's Spirit; to get with His program, so to speak. To me, it is a form of worship, as well, since I am not naturally patient or especially thoughtful. Usually, these acts "cost" little, but do a world of good.
  13. lovely

    What a sweet, lovely thread. Yes, we do need more manners, "Thank you kindly for that, Miss Manners." And yes, we do need more kindness. Mostly, though we need more "Christ likeness in our lives." When we have that, we will experience the outpouring of more manners and more kindnesses.

    I'll add, though....
    • Gentlemen, protect the women with whom you are associated - not just your girlfriend or wife. If a lady has to stay late to work, be certain she is not alone in the building. Recommend: not just you, the gentleman, stay with her because of the possibility of gossip, etc. Further protect ladies by walking on the outside when out walking. This stems from protecting the lady from abusive individuals in the road and walkway and also protecting them from splashes from mud (from days when streets were unpaved :(). In other words, find ways to throw a shield of protectiveness around the ladies. I believe that God smiles favorably on that.
    • Ladies, when you are protected by a gentleman or when someone (child, man, other lady) holds the door for you, graciously smile and verbally reply with thanks.
    • Sprinkle smiles around wherever you go - especially to stores where you see harrassed clerks, cashiers, stockers, and managers. It will help you and it will certainly help them.
    • See someone ahead of you who is a little short of funds to pay for their order and that order is good for them? Give that dollar or so to bless them.
    • Bless your pastor with a gift card to a restaurant so he and his wife/family can enjoy an evening out.
    • Bless your neighbor by being there for them but not being "in their face."
    • Know a widow or widower who could use a little financial assist - especially in your church body? Go through the pastor and give an anonymous gift. It just might buy that month's prescription they so desperately need or it just might allow their thermostat to register a little more heat in the house. :)
  14. These are great!:)

    Could you imagine if we all started doing this? We could pull society back together again.:D

    Over the weekend, it was bitterly cold in Bend when I went shopping. I was on my way into Target when I saw a woman practically in tears, bent over and looking at the ground in front of the entrance.

    Cars were honking for her to move, and people were shuffling past her. I asked her if she lost something.

    "I lost my black pearl earring!" she said, almost crying.

    It was awfully cold and my face was going numb, but I helped her. I was shocked that nobody else was stopping to help. I felt bad for this woman, didn't even know her, but I knew that if I lost something, I'd appreciate a little help finding it.

    Finally, about ten minutes later: "Here it is!"

    She looked relieved, and I went about my shopping. That's all it takes. Treating every lady like your sister. Every man like your brother.

    Sure, I didn't want to stand out in the cold looking for someone else's earring. It was uncomfortable and cold.

    So I just thought how I would feel being uncomfortable and cold and feeling afraid that I wasn't going to find what I was looking for.:(

    What about the ma'am/miss thing? I grew up learning that a woman who looks 10-years older than you should be addressed as ma'am. Any others should be called "miss" (this is when you're not sure whether she's married or not) Anybody got rules for this?

    What about for men? Young man? Sir? Mister?

  15. The manners of assistance:
    Thanks for your post on the missing pearl. Sure it wasn't the "Pearl of Great Price" but it was a worthy object to help the other lady find. Thank you for your kindness to her.

    Saturday while grocery shopping, I was waiting to get through a crowded asile when I saw a handicapped lady (stooped, misformed hands, etc. - rheumatoid arthritis I guess) trying to locate an item on the bottom shelf. She picked one up with difficulty and saw it wasn't what she wanted. She tried and tried to get where she could see the cans. I asked if I could help her find something. She told me what she was looking for, I squatted to the bottom shelf, and reached way in the back for the canned item. She would never have been able to find what she wanted. Such a simple thing to do. But it blessed me and I believe it blessed her. (Note, I am nearly 69.)

    We try to teach children in the south the courtsey of yes m'am and no m'am and yes sir and no sir. We are ridiculed by some from out of the south for this practice. However, I have found (and so have my grown children) that such a courtsey really goes a long way in the big bad world. It is a term of respect and when you render respect you more likely will be given respect.

    The greatest courtsey of all is to acknowlege our Lord Jesus Christ and his saving work on our behalf. Have we thanked Him today?
  16. Wow, that is amazing. Thanks for sharing :D

    As for courtesy itself, I am still surprised what 'please' and 'thank you' can do, and also holding the door for others. Sometimes someone will simply slam the door in your face, and people get used to this...and I can see the look of surprise sometimes when I do it...it is unfortunate. :(
  17. I know that look - seen it many times.:(

    The look that says...nobody's done this for me in years! Why are you doing this for me? I don't deserve this! Please, don't be kind to me! You don't know me. If you knew me, you wouldn't be so kind.

    Breaks my heart. Then there are some people who just haven't seen kindness before. They're genuinely appreciative.

    I held the door open for this little old lady at Denny's like 8 years ago. She had that look on her face, and she practically curled up into a ball when she went inside as I held the door for her. She whispered thank you. I told her You're welcome.

    When we were ready to leave, the waitress told us that our meal was paid for. I ask who did it, and she said some little old lady did it. My heart broke.

    I wasn't expecting anything in return from her, but I was glad just the same. Wish I could find her today and hug her.:eek:
  18. All good deeds have their reward. :)
  19. True, Azarias...true.

    But not all rewards have their good deeds. *head spinning now*:p

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