Easy Pornography

Discussion in 'Family and Parenting' started by Mark, Apr 5, 2007.

  1. Easy Pornography

    A week or so ago Dobson stated that more than 90% of teens have viewed some pornography online. Often while doing homework. Filters alone (while a huge help) do not prevent this problem.

    I give lectures on Cyber Safety but this statistic even shocked me!

    I keep my daughter's computer in our family room and we ground her if we see any "click offs" - that is she turns a screen off when we enter the room.

    I also check the reports from the filter to see where she has been. Any other advice out there?
  2. I think most teens see it on their friend's computers. If I did I would be ashamed of that friend...
  3. It is a poison- but like heroin if you allow yourself to start it could destroy your life.
  4. Could check the settings on the computer, might be able to set it to only allow trusted sites to link.

    No surfing might be an option. Or only surf when you are around, set a time for it. Surfing seems that it would carry the most risk, i.e.- clicking on stuff and sites she has never been to before.

    Could set your pop-up blockers. Could set your computer to not except cookies. You could just make a list of the sites she can go to, period. And it could be hundreds of sites long, but as long as you have seen it then there should be less worry...
  5. Having discussed the porn problem with others in our circle of friends, there seems to be some agreement among us that the primary reason for looking at such material is curiosity.

    There is just a brief moment between an early age level, at which time there is no real interest in nudity and intimacy, to the puberty age level when a sudden interest takes hold. Dealing openly with the situation in an appropriate discussion seems to be much better than avoiding the reality that is clearly there.

    Among our friends, it's agreed that activities within the family are the ideal means to demonstrate a healthy attitude about the human body, and meeting its needs. Bedroom and bathroom doors are not always closed, and male and female features don't have to be hidden as shameful. Both genders function differently, and young people need to learn what's proper and what's prurient. It's best that they learn at home before they find out "on the street".

    It's some level of success when an adolescent comes home to tell that a friend had exposed him to a magazine with some sexually explicit images, and that he replied, "well I'm familiar with that from what my parents have told me and shown me." As parents, I think we have a greater responsibility than just creating obstacles on the computer. After all, how are we to block all the extraneous pornographic material that prevails everywhere else in society?
  6. A fish never sees the hook until he has swallowed the object of his desire
  7. Porn is extremely powerful. I hate to admit but I've looked at it before but what i've discovered is that once you give your life to Christ there is no longer room in you for both porn and Christ's love. The best way to prevent your son or daughter from going to inappropriate places on the internet is to do everything you can to bring then up in a strong relationship with Christ; also, trust them. Nobody likes to be spied on by their parents; trust brings out the best in people.
  8. I'm thinking most of us have.
  9. One can hardly watch TV or see a movie these days without seeing some form of soft porn or sexualy suggestive material. Like the drugs the soft stuff all too often leads to the hard stuff.
    However sticking our heads in the sand is not the answer. We need to setting down with our children and (grand children) and openly discussing these things. Setting a moral standard for them in the face of an ever increasingly immoral world.

    Sincerely His
  10. Try driving your car and looking out your window to the left (but only for a few secomds)- your whole automobile will slowly drift in the direction of your focus-
  11. Amen to that.

    Having just come to the end of my teenage years, i must confess that i have looked at porn. But, like Padelford said "Who hasn't?"... I can tell you now, from first hand experience that, porn - no matter how soft - leads to the harder stuff later on, and from there, that leads to all sorts of things related.
    I understand that people should have a knowledge of the body, and that for the majority of people it is curiosity which causes the "first look". For me, it was the case, however, that "first look" always warrents a second, and third and before you know it you're addicted.

    For me, my parents sat down with me, after they caught me "clicking off" (as Mark put it), and they talked to me. They told me that it wasn't right, and that they were trusting me not to go back on the sites.
    I'll admit that i wasn't always keeping their trust; but it did help. It seems to me, that the best way to combat this, is to trust the youngsters and pray.
    I prayed for a change in my mind, and heart. It happened, i still fall, but who doesn't. But, Praise God, that they are few and far between. I am no where near as bad as I was before.

    God Bless,
  12. Porn has been a MAJOR issue in my life since second grade...seeing that first girlie magazine had me hooked. It's a loooooong story, but earlier this year, God got a hold of me and wouldn't let go until I truly repented. I hid this from my wife since our dating days, over 10 full years. If she ever found out, I could have lost her, she could have taken my son. I could have lost everything important.

    Like Seito, I truly repented and God has turned everything around, from my desires to my thought life. It's nothing short of a miracle. In fact, I have received so much grace from both Him and my wife, that I spoke about this in front on my entire congregation during our revival this week, over 100 people. 3 months ago, I literally woke up with nightmares about my wife finding out. Now, I'm leading a small group at my church to transform the lives of men with Christ's help.

    For an outstanding book on this issue, check out "Every Man's Battle" by Fred Stoeker. It changed my life and will be the focus of our group's study. Get this issue straightened out men, there is nothing more poisonous, or tempting, to most of us.
  13. Pornography degrades women who we men must protect from degradation or surely our children will suffer the consequences of mothers who are not morally fit to mother a child.
  14. Excellent discussion here.

    Accountability is a key in my opinion.

    James 1: 14 - 15 states, “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.” I believe that our “own desires” change as we get older. New types of sins are introduced to our body, soul (mind, will and emotion) and spirit.
    It is true that some sins may be introduced early on so that we "desire" before we should. However, sooner or later, as we grow and develop many of those temptations will come our way with or without exposure.

    The desire for sexual stimulation does not appear to be lessoned in countries where family nudity is more acceptable. So there does not seem to be a "fulfillment" of those desires. However, teaching children about God's desires for sexual union is very, very important!

    So, as we "conceive" sin, how then can we overcome this temptation? I agree that God's grace - a power to overcome, is a major part of the ability to overcome. Another huge help is accountability (discipleship). We have computer filters. When my son lived with us (now a graduate and on his own) I gave him the password to the filter so he could override it if he wanted to, but he knew I would see the report telling me everywhere he went. This accountability was a great help.

    I have written a short booklet for parents on setting limits. It has a chapter on the James 1 and its implications to our children. (Send an email to bookrequest-at-colossians2.com for instructions on how to download the book for free.)

    One thing is for sure. We need to be in prayer for our children!
  15. I'll give some hints from the old pro here. Keep the computer in the main area that an adult is in like your bed room or the living room. Don't use AOL this helps on the child preditors too because with high speed or something similar you aren't signed up to a big network for IMs and Emails just by being on line. You can check where anyone goes by use of cookies stored on the computer unless they're smart enough to delete them every time they use the computer. I have found that by using yahoo.com I have greatly lowered the amount of junk mail and porn mail I get to the point where I don't have any.
  16. If you are using Windows XP you can create a limited account which nobody would be able to use to download anything with and you would also be able to severely, very severely restrict web surfing abilities.

    You would need to take the time and trouble of setting everything up for your child but it would be worth it. The way I would feel, to go about doing that would be to wait for the yells, "Dad! I can't do such and such! I need this or that!"

    It works, believe me. They can hardly do anything. My niece and nephew can attest to that.

    If you want help or guidance on setting up the limited account just let me know. I'm not an expert but I believe I can help.
  17. There are some add on programs available in the freeware section of snapfiles that can and will filter most (but not all) objectionable material.
  18. :eek: i used to watch porn & i admit it was addictive. similarly with masturbation, [im being very direct, no offence to anyone] since i was abstinent, i convinced myself that it was ok...everyone does it so why not right? but deep down, i knew it was wrong. it might be pleasurable but i always felt guilty afterwards. i knew i was hurting God :( but i kept doing it.

    then about a month ago, i gave my life to God and i haven't watched porn or mastered since :) when God is in your life, you can give up anything!! Temptation is always there but it's so much easier to fight it with the lord on your side. Just take it day by day :D

    whenever i feel tempted, i remind myself that God is watching. I don't want to disappoint him or make him sad.

    edit: btw, porn doesn't only degrade women but men as well.
  19. This kind of temptation isn't easy to overcome so good for you!
  20. Nesian I am both pleased for you and proud of you ! :D

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