Dusty's Jokes

Three people were visiting and viewing the Grand
Canyon -- an artist, a pastor and a cowboy. As they stood on the
edge of that massive abyss, each one responded with a cry of exclamation. The
artist said, "Ah, what a beautiful scene to paint!" The minister
cried, "What a wonderful example of the handiwork of God!" The cowboy
mused, "What a terrible place to lose a cow!"
 
When a young minister was still single, he preached a sermon
he entitled, "Rules for Raising Children." After he got married and
had children of his own, he changed the title of the sermon to
"Suggestions for Raising Children." When his children got to be
teenagers, he stopped preaching on that subject altogether.
 
A little boy was overheard praying:
"Lord, if You can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having
a real good time like I am!"
 
A minister was forced to stop by a
traffic cop to pull over for speeding. As the cop was about to write the
ticket, the minister said to him, "Blessed are the merciful, for they
shall obtain mercy."

The cop handed the minister the ticket
and said, "Go thou and sin no more."
 
Judge: Last time I saw you, I told you that I didn't want to see you here again.

Thief: I told these cops, your Honour, but they would not believe me.
 
A little boy's prayer: "Dear God, please
take care of my daddy and my mommy and my sister and my brother and my doggy
and me. Oh, please take care of yourself, God. If anything happens to you,
we're gonna be in a big mess."
 
Kevin and Ryan, 5 & 6, were
waiting for breakfast one morning. As their mother was preparing, the boys began to argue who would get the first one from
the griddle.

Their mother saw the opportunity for a
moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother
have the first pancake. I can wait.'" she explained.
Kevin immediately turned to his younger brother and said, "Okay, Ryan, you
be Jesus!"
 
Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent
to his room. After a while he emerged and informed his mother that he had
thought it over and then said a prayer. "Fine," said the pleased
mother. "If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you."

"Oh, I didn't ask Him to help me not
misbehave," said Johnny. I asked Him to help you put up with me."
 
Dusty said:
Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent
to his room. After a while he emerged and informed his mother that he had
thought it over and then said a prayer. "Fine," said the pleased
mother. "If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you."

"Oh, I didn't ask Him to help me not
misbehave," said Johnny. I asked Him to help you put up with me."
Click to expand...

oh boy! Just like a kid
 
Says one humorist: "Life is unfair. I lost my car keys
at a ball game and never found them. I lost my sunglasses at the beach and
never found them. I lost my socks in the washing machine and never found them.
I lost three pounds on a diet - I found them and five more."
 
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew.
She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork.
As she came to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.


The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."


The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."


Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied,. . . .
"They will in a minute."
 
A woman drove a mini-van filled with a dozen screaming kids
through the mall parking lot, looking for a space. Obviously frazzled, she
coasted through a stop sign.

"Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop?"
...yelled an irate man.

She rolled down her window and said, "What makes you
think these are all mine?"
 
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny Midwest town got up early
and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews.

Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from an evil incarnate.

Soon everyone was evacuated from the church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving.....seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

Now this confused and irritated the Devil a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

"Yep, sure do," the elderly man said.

Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"

This time the man said, "Nope, sure ain't!"

Satan, a little more perturbed at this, asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 56 years."
 
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family
Bible to her brother in another part of the country.

"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal
clerk.
...
"Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.
 
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