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Does True Love Wait?

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Brandon, Feb 7, 2009.

  1. Does True Love Wait?

    I have heard seperate opinions that differences in sexual experiences doesn't matter when it comes to marriage and that a virgin can be yoked together with a non-virgin. That this would be something for the virgin to pray past and that they should not have it as a criteria in their spouse. Is this a correct viewpoint that differences in sexual histories that are so extreme is just something that should be prayed past and dealt with through counseling?

    Some advice from married couples was that it took several years for the spouse who came as a virgin to forgive his wife especially when difficulties came up in the marriage. Another time I heard from a engaged couple where the woman had experience but the boyfriend was as pure as the driven snow and had difficulty with her hiding her past. As for myself I think it has been hypocritical for men who have had several girlfriends to insist on a virgin spouse but now that the tide has turned and there are now apparently some men who have listened to the true love waits teaching and they are now growing up.

    However all the women I've talked to in real life state that if you come to the marriage as a virgin then you should marry another virgin who also waited. I also have talked with a woman who married a virgin even though she had a boyfriend before the marriage, they later divorced.

    Now this is the reversal for in the past it was the woman who was a virgin but did not care if her spouse was so much, now it is the man who often has waited and is being encouraged to not have it as a marriage criteria. What is the parameters to make a choice like this?

    I ask for myself- I bought into the True Love Waits (and you will eventually find the exact one who also waited for you) propaganda but it appears many christians who accept True Love Waits abstinence teaching are just as happy to find someone who didn't wait for marriage. It has sort of negated my feelings about promulgating this teaching. What are your thoughts? What are the parameters to make this a criteria for marriage or not?
  2. "Virginity" speaks to integrity, morality, commitment, love and respect. In that repect it is very very important and certianly understandable if a virgin expects the same values in their mate.
    The most serious danger concerning purity in a potential marriage or relationship is the one who exspects or demands a higher standard of their future mate/spouse than they themselves have. This a standard spawned in by Satan and should be avoided under all circumstances!!!
    Is purity before marriage a marriage maker/breaker??? That depends on the people involved in that marriage. It depends on how important it is to them as individuals and that on their willngness to accept the other's failings (sin).
    To some it means everything ,to others there are things much more important, such as what happens after the wedding, infidelity, dishonesty, abuse, etc. Purity and common beliefs and standards do not insure a sucessful marriage. To virgins of strong beliefs can and sometimes are fataly mis-matched in other ways.
    Certianly promicuity hurts the individual, their relationship with God and potential future spouse. No marriage can be perfect as no individual is percect. No two people even under the very best of situations are perfectly matched (equely yoked) The greater the disparity between the two the greater the challanges, with unbelieving and believing spouses being at the greatest risk.
    No doubt that purity gives one more to offer to the marriage than one who has given in (in that respect). But the same time if they use it to as a holding card or power point it can certianly distroy a marriage. Of if one simply cannot feel secure with the others past ,that to can hurt a marriage and sometimes distroy one especialy if the non-virgin spouse wasn't truthful about their past.
    There is dangers directly and indirectly to the individual in intimate relationships outside of marriage. Decease, and emotional attatchment and scaring along with some shame and humiliation can be expected especialy when in a marriage relationship with one who has been able to sustain their purity.
    There is never anything wrong with waiting until marriage for intimacy.
    And certianly nothing wrong with anything that promotes purity.
    Bottem line. . .
    "True love waits" is a good thing, any way you look at it, no doubt about that;)
  3. Thank you Theophilus!

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