I have been saved since I was a young child. I remember the day I prayed to God asking Him to forgive me of my sins and accepting Jesus as my Savior. I have always loved God and wanted to do the right thing. I have made many mistakes and even more trying to "fix" those mistakes. I fornicated as a teenager and I felt so guilty. We were already engaged (he asked, I said yes) but I think that made it easier to sin in that way. Anyway, my mom found out and pressured us to get married then instead of waiting until after college. He kept trying to back out before the wedding day, but eventually went through with it. We married in front of a pastor with a friend as our witness. His parents did not approve, so they did not come. I don't think they even knew we were actually going through with it. My parents didn't go out of respect to his parents... hoping they would eventually come around. Anyway, we didn't live together for quite awhile. He told everyone we were not married. He hid it from his parents. Eventually, my parents and I talked him into living together, and we did live together for a few months... until his mom and dad came over and cried and begged for him to move home. I cried and begged for him to stay. He left with his parents. I was humiliated. I filed for divorce. When it was about to go through, I cancelled it because I didn't want to sin. He was so angry. He came back and forth from my apartment to his parents house and I eventually got pregnant. He begged me to have an abortion. I said no. He threatened to kill me and our baby if I did not have an abortion. I refused. He told everyone the baby wasn't his (impossible as I had never been with anyone else). I cried, begged, and pleaded for him to be a husband to me and a dad to our baby. He denied me in front of his whole family. I was humiliated again. One time, I begged him to stay overnight with me for Christmas, and said I would go with him if he wanted to go somewhere. He pushed me to the floor (while I was pregnant) and tied me up with Christmas lights and left. This guy was awful! He eventually moved in and right back out after our sweet baby was born. My mom and dad moved me to the other side of the state to get me and our baby away from his craziness. He followed a few months later. We fought all the time. He did crazy, odd things. Also, he slept at work and in his car after awhile, and eventually moved back home to his parents house. I filed for divorce again. Called him right before it went through to ask if he was sure we should get a divorce. He cussed me out and said I better let it go through, so I did. I started dating after that conversation, fornicated, and planned on marrying that guy. We did, but my ex found out and chased him off and begged me back. I stupidly went back and got pregnant again. We were already divorced, so we felt we should just get remarried. Once we did, I realized I just couldn't look at him the same way after everything he did. He was dangerous with our children, and verbally, mentally, emotionally abusive to me. Even physical. I remember the day I was breastfeeding our daughter in a rocking chair and he got mad and slapped me across the face. I was holding a baby... no way to defend myself. It was awful. I filed for divorce for the last time. I got a job and moved on. I started feeling guilty about the divorce AGAIN... until the day he swore on his mom's life that he cheated on me and came home and slept with me without even bothering to take a shower in-between. I was so grossed out that I got an STD test. Thank God it was negative for everything. I was fine with the divorce going through after that. After the divorce went though, I remarried. After I married my husband, my ex-husband said he really didn't cheat and swore that on his soul. The guy is such a liar, I don't know which is the truth. He also said he had a vasectomy and that turned out to be a lie. I have been remarried for ten years (and we have two more kids), but I still look back in horror on everything I went through. I spared many details to spare time. I just cannot believe it. Then, I hear different Christian denominations saying they believe people are still married to their first spouse no matter what and would split up the second family. This is just not true, right? The Catholic and Amish churches would be an example. I feel the practice of having a second marriage end and the spouse to return to the first spouse is a sin. The Bible says it's an abomination. How do people say othewise? Could a second marriage really be adulterous? Our pastor told me I am married to my husband and it would be a sin to divorce him. He said it would be an abomination to go back to my ex-spouse. He gave me biblical versus to back this up. I believe it wholeheartedly, but it does kinda get to me when I hear people say something different and they believe in the same God and the same Bible.