Divorce And Marrying Again?

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by LilTinINDE, Dec 21, 2012.

  1. I was recently baptized and have been studying the bible a lot to learn the word of God. I was listening to a Christian radio station and they were discussing persons who divorce and remarry. After listening to this topic I became very concerned and the radio host did not address someone that was in my situation.
    I was married for just shy of 10 years and we divorced on the grounds of irreconcilable difference. My ex filed for the divorce. At the time we attended church occasionally but I didn't get into studying the word.
    I remarried and my husband, of 16 years, and I attend church regularly and were baptized this year.
    Am I still dead spiritually in God's eyes because of the divorce or did my baptizmal restore me. Does God still consider me married to my 1st husband? In God's eyes am I still married to him until he dies?
    Back then I did not know Gods word and where he stood in regards to divorce. Like I said I did not know Gods word when the divorce happened.
    Any guidance would be greatly helpful.
    Thank You
  2. They never do!
    No. We are dead spiritually because of sin in general, not a specific sin. But the really stupendously good news is that we are made alive again by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
    Are you still married to the first guy? Now that is a controversial question. Nevertheless, here are some scriptures that I earnestly urge you to study:
    Rom 3:19 Now we know that whatever the law says it speaks to those who are under the law, so that every mouth may be stopped, and the whole world may be held accountable to God.
    Rom 3:20 For by works of the law no human being will be justified in his sight, since through the law comes knowledge of sin.
    Rom 3:21 But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it—
    Rom 3:22 the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction:
    Rom 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
    Rom 3:24 and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,
    Rom 3:25 whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God's righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins.
    Rom 3:26 It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.

    I have underlined some points that I believe you should take extra notice of because they speak to your specific situation.
    Deut 24:1. "When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house,
    Deut 24:2. and if she goes and becomes another man's wife,
    Deut 24:3. and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife,
    Deut 24:4. then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the LORD. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the LORD your God is giving you for an inheritance.
    The above is very difficult to fully understand because it suggests something very negative about the woman, but the point I feel you should take on board is the possibility of the fact that the woman may remarry, and also the possibility that the first husband might consider remarrying her.
    Now, if the woman was as bad as is suggested by our understanding of her possible faults in v1, then her first hubby wouldn't want her back anyway. Also, in the sight of the Lord, she was able to remarry, hence there is no thought of adultery here. If the first hubby could consider remarrying her, she could not be as bad as a superficial reading of v1 suggests.
    So, speaking to your own situation, (from a legalistic stance), your first hubby found you undesirable, (maybe this was mutual). He divorced you.(v1). you became another mans wife (v2).
    So even if we want to throw out God's Grace in Christ Jesus and wallow in legalism, you are rightfully married.
    But we have a better covenant between us and the Lord. We have the covenant written in Christ Jesus' own blood.
    So, keep up the study of God's word, keep growing in the love and knowledge of Christ Jesus.
    Divorce is not God's will for us, but it happens. While it could be said that God hates divorce, He does not automatically hate divorced persons.
    Hope this helps.
    DavidG and KingJ say Amen and like this.
  3. That said, I believe I should table some other scriptures for you to prayerfully study. I like to apply the rule of two or more witnesses when studying scripture. That is not always possible, but when it is...I do.
    Matt 5:31. "It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.'
    Matt 5:32. But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. This assumes she remarries. and it stands alone of the three gospels in its apparent rigidity toward the victim of the divorce.

    Matt 19:8. He said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
    Matt 19:9. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery." Here the focus is on the husband putting his wife away, nolt the other way round.

    Mar 10:11 And he said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her,
    Mar 10:12 and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery." This is stating things more clearly. Notice that here in v12, the prohibition is on the wife initiating the divorce.

    Luke 16:18. "Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery. Really, this is saying the same thing as the Mark passages.
    My two witnesses....really three!:)
    So, a man must not divorce his wife except for marital unfaithfulness, but you need to question if this means that the wife, having been unrighteously divorced, is free to remarry or not. Does Jesus say no? In the same way, a wife should not divorce her hubby except on the grounds of unfaithfulness...but if she does, she is not free to re marry, but is he? Again does Jesus say no?
    This has been the source of a great deal of hurt and hardship and it need a careful study rather than just throwing verses around 'willy nilly', and I have tried to present an unbiased account from Scripture
  4. The answer to this will require another cupcake to fuel the brain. Be right back.

    Okay, I had two, but they were small.

    Based on the Scriptures Calvin posted above, I see no reason to consider yourself tied to your first husband. Looking at Deut 24:4, your current marriage makes you essentially ineligible for remarriage to him, so I think we can toss that out. So the essential question is, what do you do now? Is remaining married to your current husband a continual living in adultery, thus sin, thus disobedience ? Will divorcing your current husband serve the cause of righteousness?

    I'm going to go out on a limb here and offer an opinion I am not yet fully prepared to back up with Scripture. Others may disagree and they are welcome to state their case.

    The answer doesn't appear to be going back to your first husband, or viewing yourself as married to him. That much I think is quite clear from Scripture. I think it is best for you and your current husband to commit yourselves to one another and to God to honor Him in the way you treat each other and in the conduct of your personal lives. Let there be no more divorcing or division in your lives. Let there be no hesitation or double-mindedness or doubt, but a resolute determination to honor God in your current marriage.

    That is my opinion. I do not claim it as a word from God, so take it for what it's worth.
  5. If there was no unfaithfulness and he left you, there was nothing you could do. You are definitely exempt, but not him. We stay married because it pleases God and we hold onto hope that He can fix things. There are no excuses for divorce. Only adultery as Jesus says. He would need to reconcile with God and that would involve apologising to you and getting back with you only if you are not re-married.
  6. Thank you for our responses and thoughts/opinions. God Bless!
  7. So its not really a sin if i were to remarry again? Divorced not due to adultery, so if i were to marry another woman say she has never been married before, would i be committing adultery or causing her too?

    That always confused me, it states in the bible its okay to divorce only if one has committed adultery, yet plenty of christians still remarry whether adultery was the reason or not.
  8. If you initiated the divorce for any reason except adultery, you need to reconcile with your ex. In God's book you are still married. If she has moved on, you need to repent and 'make up' with her before you move on.
  9. I have forgiven her if thats what you mean, and we are still friends up to this day. She left the marriage and ive never bothered to remarry but would like to one day. I should add we are not legally divorce but have been separated now for the last 16yrs.
  10. Sorry to hear. You would be exempt and God will bless your next marriage.
  11. That would be the best words ive read in a long time. Thanks very much now i suppose i can move on...(y)
    KingJ likes this.
  12. Interesting subject. I notice the scripture always says whoever divorces his wife, but never whoever divorces her husband.. Though some are saying he would be exempt, I would assume he would not be exempt until she engages in sexual activity with someone other then him.
  13. Divorce is required, if you are to even think about ever remarrying. Until then there is no "moving on".
  14. #14 JustPassingThru, May 28, 2014
    Last edited: May 28, 2014
    I survived the eighties, ...here is the simple answer to this question,

    1. We are living in the dispensation of grace.

    2. You have not committed the unpardonable sin.

    I can give you a real life example about this subject in my own life and what the Lord accomplished through it, that way you will be hearing from from someone that has actually gone through it rather than advice from those that haven't, but it's rather lengthy and I don't have the time this morning, so if you're interested let me know.


  15. No, you are not dead spiritually. As long as you believe in Jesus Christ with all you heart and walk with Him in your daily life, you are saved by His blood and Gods grace. :)
  16. Your husband broke the covenant.. It was not you.. Divorce certainly breaks the covenant.. So if a couple gets divorced, then God also sees it as a broken covenant..

    Pray about your situation.. May be Lord wanted some changes from you also.. May be there were things from your side which could have triggered the divorce.. Not being judgmental, just saying..

    This is a touchy topic.. Because personally I know lot of people who have initiated divorce because of abuse.. Abuse to an extent where they cannot take it anymore.. Are they wrong for initiating the divorce?

    I think the bottom line is, we are saved by Grace of God.. There is no sin except blasphemy of Holy Spirit which is unforgivable.. If Holy Spirit convicts a person that they have done wrong by initiating divorce, then ask for forgiveness.. Lord will forgive.. It is not our deeds or works which would make us righteous.. It is the work of Christ on Cross.. When we put our trust in Christ as Lord and Savior, we are washed of every sin.. God's grace is bigger than a divorce man can do..
    Where is the Messiah and Euphemia say Amen and like this.
  17. Exactly.
  18. My thing is that you should not suffer in life with a marriage that is not working. God does not like divorce, but he is forgiving in my book and wants you to be happy.
  19. This is completely unbiblical.
    SparkleEyes likes this.
  20. Here's a good one. Start @ 6:00 if you don't feel like listening to the whole thing.
    SparkleEyes likes this.

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