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Differences between Men and Women

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Faithwoman, Jun 27, 2008.

  1. Faithwoman

    Faithwoman Member

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    Differences between Men and Women

    Ok, I know there is many threads in regards to different things with this topic, but I have a question.

    So when a man and woman, guy and gal, break off a relationship, I see there is a difference in regards to what one many hold onto from the previous relationship.

    What I mean by this, is for me when my relationships have ended, I want "rid" of all reminders.. ie.. cards, pictures etc..

    I have seen it different for guys. For example, I do not understand why my boyfriend has hung onto the cards from a previous relationship and not even the one before me. Not only has he hung onto them, they are right there in the drawer, next to the ones I have given him. Now for whatever unknown reason, this bothers me. I mean if you want to hang onto something from a previous relationship, something that meant something to you, why not put them in a box up on a shelf? I had asked him one time and he said it is not like he picks them up and reads them, they are just there.. They are still there and we have been dating for almost 2 years.. many a time I was tempted to pick them up and throw them away, but that is my property..

    I know this is a "stupid" thing, but it is something that bothers me. I feel out of respect, either put them away, or throw them away.. just my thought..

    Faithwoman:)
    #1
  2. worshipper

    worshipper New Member

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    Faithwoman;
    I just have to laugh at a memory that your message brings up...I liked David in 4th grade, 6th grade, 8th grade and by 12th grade (our senior year) he asked me to the prom and we went on trips together.

    At dinner one evening, he told me that he had the poem and box that I had bought him as a birthday gift in 4th grade!!! it was sitting on his dresser!!!:eek: I couldn't believe it.

    I dated a boy in college rather seriously and got rid of gifts, pictures, etc that had to do with that relationship. I don't even have a pic to prove that he looked like a Elvis/Victor Mature look-alike because he certainly doesn't look like that now (I have seen a pic on the internet a few years ago:eek:)...

    I know that men and women are VERY different and God has made us that way to fulfill His plan...I liken it to the tower of Babel...if we spoke the same language we wouldn't need Him to help us so much...:p
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  3. smellycat

    smellycat Active Member

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    strange question,when you are single,love letters from the past etc,give you comfort that you have been loved,like a safety blanket.and they make you laugh and smile when you read them again.:eek:see how young you really was.:eek::eek:.should you get rid of them ,i don,t know ,i,m married now and left mine at my parents house.you never know when you might need them again to pick you up.:D
    #3
  4. smellycat

    smellycat Active Member

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    the reason we have free will is to know our emotions are our own and not computed.we need freedom to know ourselves.:groupray:
    #4
  5. And it depends on the person- I did not save anything from the past.
    #5
  6. BreathOfGod

    BreathOfGod New Member

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    I agree with Boanerges..... I think saving or not saving things depends on the person (and also the circumstances), and is not a gender thing.
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  7. Fluffy

    Fluffy Active Member

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    For my two cents, he probably doesnt even see them. Like some (not all!) men can walk right by the full trash can and not see that it needs to be taken out. Oh, their eyes see it, it just doesnt register. It could be the same way with him.


    On the other hand, I had an ex-boyfriend from another state show up at my door step 20 years later, CARRYING HIS MEMENTOS WITH HIM!

    Who knows?:confused:
    #7
  8. adonaicole

    adonaicole Moderator Staff Member

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    It's a guy thing...

    I had to laugh at this post, because I was guilty. I kept all the letters/pictures from my "girl" friends until I got married and then they went in the trash.
    #8
  9. Mellow

    Mellow Member

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    I thought you where going to talk about women being better than men, or men being better than women since the title is "Differences Between Men and Women".

    He has an issue with hanging on to the past. That's what I think. He clings to things. He doesn't want to move on.
    #9
  10. Mellow

    Mellow Member

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    We've got two opposite opinions here.
    #10
  11. That is not a problem for me! My brother Don is awesome and we do not have to agree on every little detail of our lives- instead we are called to love each other in Jesus Name.
    #11
  12. adonaicole

    adonaicole Moderator Staff Member

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    Not opposite opinions at all, I was referring to a situation 20 years ago.
    I made lots of mistakes 20 years ago but God is cleansing me.
    #12
  13. Faithwoman

    Faithwoman Member

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    Believe you me, I am sure there is more than two.. and that is great.. remember we were all created unique.. :)

    Thank you so much to all of you for your responses. I love this forum!

    I
    Hey Don,
    I can relate to the cleansing.. but man oh man .. for me right now it is painful.. he sure is "cleaning the muck" out of me.. but I know he is preparing me for awesome things.. most of all my home in eternity.. but also for a righteous and holy living while I am here!

    Hugs to all
    Faithwoman
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  14. InHisLove

    InHisLove Moderator Staff Member

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    I'm so sorry you are feeling uneasy about this, but maybe he just likes the sayings on the cards and things and keeps them to refer back to from time to time for none other than reference purposes. I know I do . . .

    You see, I keep notes and things from others (even from ex's) because I love to write. I may not be very good at it, but I love to write. I have a file for nothing but notes (my notes, other's notes, Internet notes, and so on).

    I refer back to these notes when I need inspiration for a piece I am writing or when I need a new idea for a new piece to write. I have even printed out some of the posts on this forum for future reference; rewritten in my own words of course - no plagiarism here. :israel:

    Different strokes - but interesting post all the same.

    :israel: :p :israel:
    #14
  15. Theophilus

    Theophilus Member

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    I wouldn't make an issue of it. Many people keep differant things for differant reasons. Perhaps it is a security issue for him and if or when your relationship relieves that insecurity he will get rid of them.

    I don't have things from previous relationships. After 39 years of marriage I don't have much of anything from our marriage much less from previous relationships.:rolleyes: Wish I did. Some would be antiques $$$$.

    You don't have any real grounds to question it unless there has been some sort of commitment made. (enguagement, marriage)
    #15
  16. Mellow

    Mellow Member

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    Oh thats good.
    #16
  17. slavetoChrist

    slavetoChrist New Member

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    talk to him about it.
    #17
  18. Faithwoman

    Faithwoman Member

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    Ok. I did exactly that. In a conversation over the week-end I just happened to say by the way.. there is something that has been on my mind.. I said about the cards.. and I included. if they are special to you, have special memories etc.. would you mind putting them away in a box. not sitting next to mine I gave you? He said my gosh why did you not say something sooner? I said.. well I had mentioned it briefly before.. he said go ahead and throw them away.. I said that is not my property and that is not right for me to do.. he said he would take care of them.. He said he understood exactly where I was coming from.

    and I admitted to victimizing myself by actually reading them! OMG! now how stupid was tha :eek::eek::eek:

    Alrighty then.. off to read more about men.. lol.. I am learning about a man's rolodex of a mind.. now that was interesting..

    Loving the books by the way!
    Faithwoman:)
    #18
  19. slavetoChrist

    slavetoChrist New Member

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    yes, very interesting exactly how different the minds of men and women are!

    Another good book you might like is Men are like Waffles - Women are like Spaghetti by Bill and Pam Farrel ... it compares men to waffles (everything is separated and sorted into boxes) and women to spaghetti (everything intertwines and is connected) ... it was another interesting read for me.

    Congratulations on resolving the issue! .. I am proud of you!
    #19
  20. smellycat

    smellycat Active Member

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    men want a peaceful life,women want to stop us having one.:)
    #20

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