Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by naomanos, May 15, 2015.

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  1. A couple days ago my 14 year old daughter, who lives 1200 miles away from me with her mom and siblings, let me know that she was sexually abused for two months by a 21 year old man. This man was a friend of my ex-girlfriend's boyfriend's son who frequented their house often.

    Needless to say my first thought was and continuing thought is not a Christian one. I want to catch a plane up there and kill him. He harmed my daughter, he stole her innocence.

    I have been a poor of boiling water ready to boil over since hearing this from my daughter. I am raging inside because I feel helpless to do anything. Because I feel as though I have failed to protect my daughter from harm, but then I try to remember the I am 1200 miles away and there isn't much I could have done anyway.

    I am questioning God too now. I pray for my kids and their safety, yet He allowed my daughter to come to harm. I want to curse God and be done with Him!
  2. :( I am praying.
    Cturtle likes this.
  3. Naomanos,
    I have never suffered such abuse myself, but from my teenage years till now, God has drawn abused girls and women to me. I have seen the after effects
    I sorrow for you and your daughter more than I can describe, but I can tell you that in any case where unrestrained violence was used AFTER the fact, more harm was done than good.
    There is already a great deal of guilt and shame involved, and any violence on your part after the fact will only magnify that and slow or even stop the healing that she needs.
    As wrong as it may feel at the moment you need to forgive the offender.
    I am not saying to tolerate what he has done, and I fully recommend bring every public and legal option you have to bear and hammer him before he does it again.

    That said, this hasn't happened to my daughter, but it has happened to my sister when I was overseas. The only thing that stopped me from finding and killing the man that did it was the people God placed around me. They knew me, recognized my state of mind, and took steps to keep me in place. My sister has been healed and has been monumentally blessed in her life, but the first step for her was to trust in Jesus and forgive the one who hurt her.

    We cannot keep others from getting hurt, and I do not know why God allowed this specific event, but I do know that you and your daughter desperately need to rest in Him. If you do so, healing can and will come for your daughter and you. You will both come through this closer to Him than you were before.

    Trust in Him and know that your daughter and you have been and are being prayed for.

    Juk, Mykuhl and Euphemia says Amen and like this.
  4. Right now I cannot forgive him. In time, yes, but not now.

    As for my daughter resting in Him, that will not happen. My ex-girlfriend does not believe in God and wants nothing to do with Him and doesn't want me talking to the kids about Him either. So rather than cause strife, I pray for them without them or her knowing.

    Add for me resting in Him, I cannot right now. I am too hurt and mistrusting of Him currently. In time, yes, but not now. Now I cannot.
  5. Do what you can brother, but when you do get to the point where you will forgive him know that you may have to do so more than once.
    What has happened will hurt for some time, and each time you see your child hurting there is likely to be a fresh wave of pain and rage in you. You will need to forgive each time. That will fade as she and you heal.

    Aside from leaning on Jesus (a constant), there are only two things that you absolutely have to do for now.
    Be there for your daughter and remember to breathe.
    Juk, Mykuhl and Euphemia says Amen and like this.
  6. I will pray for you
  7. I am so sorry to hear this. I am crying for her and for you right now and am praying for you.

    Please know that God had nothing to do with this. The enemy came in to steal kill and destroy. He wants to destroy you and your daughter.
  8. Please dont blame our Heavenly Father! he wouldnt do this ever.
    you can curse the enemy, satan. Tell his demons in no uncertain terms to leave your daughter alone.

    If she needs a place of refuge, consider opening your home to her or a trusted relatives place. If her mum is an unbeliever, she would not have been praying, so the enemy thinks he has legal right to attack your daughter.
  9. My home is always open to my kids, now whether or not their mother let's them down is a seperate issue.

    I will also blame God for allowing it to happen. He could have stopped it, especially since I do pray for my kids and their safety every night. Yeah, God is indeed at fault for this. He can share the blame equally with the devil!
  10. Don't you see what the devil is doing here? He wants to get you to curse God like he tried to do with Job.
    autumn oddity and Euphemia say Amen and like this.
  11. My heart goes out to your little girl for what she has now to overcome---and for you for the helpless feelings you must be experiencing. However, God has nothing to do with the evil that this evil man has perpetrated on your daughter.

    You must run to Him for comfort and for His kind of wisdom you need in dealing with your girl. God's heart is broken worse than yours is. He loves her more than even you do. He longs for her heart, and for her to be living in good circumstances. He desires to bring her up in His ways, but she lives in a godless environment. Your intercession is vital. Don't lose your spiritual composure. Be strong in the Lord---He will give you the strength needed to handle this and to help your girl to come through this without major scars.
    Juk likes this.
  12. Right now I do not care. In my mind God is also to blame for allowing it to happen. Maybe in a few days I will believe otherwise, but for now this is my belief.
  13. ok. well.
    nothing we can say here as...christians do not curse, especially our own God.
    If your faith is not in Him, then, where is it?
    Look. I have been abused and violated by men that is REALLY common in this world where they think they can take advantage of women. Some of them even claim they christian.
    My parents, thought they here, do not pray for me.

    But God is bigger than all this, and He does not do things like this. Sometimes, we at fault for not knowing or being too trusting. Othertimes its cos Satan just likes to attack the righteous. We are not guaranteed an easy life in this world. However, we know who we can run to and take refuge in.

    Cturtle and Juk say Amen and like this.
  14. Right now I just cannot take refuge in someone whom I currently do not trust. It is as simple as that.

    As for my faith, yeah, right now that is in the toilet. After all what good is faith when you pray for protection over your kids and the God whom you have faith in allows one of your children to come to harm.
  15. I understand.

    I ask you to please read the book of Job again. Read it when you are ready to, and ask God to give you an understanding of it. There is a lot there to help you understand.
  16. One day you will regret having jumped to this frame of mind immediately, instead of running to your Father for His comfort and wisdom right off the bat, which is what we are being trained by Him to do.
  17. Maybe, maybe not. Could be He will understand the deep hurt that I feel and understand, which is what is likely to happen.

    If I do regret it, oh well.
  18. Brother I know where you are at and I know the pain that eats at you with every breath you take but to take it out on God or blame Him will only cause more problems and pain. Look it sounds like she is in an un-Godly situation which is a problem there. You are so quick to blame God. She is alive and you should be praising God for that.
    Euphemia likes this.
  19. Will not praise a God that allows harm to come to my little girl. I just cannot bring myself to do that.
  20. Do you think that God the Father doesn't understand having a child abused? His innocent Son was beaten and tortured beyond recognition, and then finally nailed to a piece of wood to die.

    Please take a deep breath, step back and let God reveal Himself to you in this.
    autumn oddity, Alang, Juk and 1 other person say Amen and like this.
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