Dealing with an ex... So basic rundown here. For the past number of months I have been feeling so hurt by a situation that I dont have the strength to go to the church and Bible study group I had been going to. The thing is this church and group were my first real sense of belonging in a Christian community and I am still close friends with many of the people there...enough so that they are my main social group. The problem is is that I got in a relationship with one of the girls there. She came to our group after having broken up with her boyfriend she was with for two years because he was not a believer. We hit things off and started a relationship about a month after we met. I realize this may have been too fast...too late now. The thing is her ex kept pressuring her to get back together with him. She talked to me about how annoying he was being and how he wasnt getting that she really meant she was never going to date him again. But...somehow this guy found God and became a believer, and he let her know how much of a struggle he was having with his friends and family and how she was the only he could count on basically. My recollection is fuzzy but I think she had a bigger 'were not getting back together ever' conversation with him after that...and obviously because we were in a relationship I knew all about what was going on. Anyway...a few weeks later our relationship basically just crashed. It happened during a week moment on my end, I had been a bit frustrated with her and how she was treating me and just asked her that I felt that she could be more encouraging...she said she didnt want to date anyone anymore. It was probably a week or two later that we really talked about it...and she revealed to me that she was talking to her ex again, that she felt she had no reason to not date him anymore, and that she felt I didnt meet her expectations and she hadnt been thinking straight and just changed her mind. That was admittedly a while ago. As of today we have started communicating again a little bit after a number months of no real contact (some fbook messaging, but no talking). She has continued to go to our church and Bible study...I have been so hurt that Ive avoided it, but still keep up with friends outside of it. I feel like Ive mostly been able to get over the mean things said (i.e. you didnt meet my expectations) and the way she blew me off in a weak moment. However, the way she just went back into a relationship that I believed she clearly lead me to believe she never would is really too much. Id love to be able to just get over it...but dont seem to be able to. What kind of Biblical advice is there on how to handle this? I have told her clearly what is the real hurt and that I have not been able to get over it. She told me I must be holding back and to just get over it. Would it be ok to handle this according to matthew 8:15? Basically, was it wrong for her to by her actions become so involved with me and through words lead me to believe her ex was truly out of the picture for good...and then straight change her mind? (matthew 5:37) In our conversation I did tell her I felt that she could do alot to make it easier for me to get over this, but that she couldnt do it all and I would still have to do my part. She had been telling me that she really didnt know what she could do. (admittedly after alot of deliberation and beating around the bush because I didnt want to anger her) I told her that I felt she should at least consider either planning on getting married and going to a different church, or ending this relationship and staying at this church...and it would be something she should seek Gods will (some background...she has committed to neither him nor this church in 3 years now, no plans to marry him at all ever and no desire to seek membership). She didnt agree...but wasnt angry with me, was I out of line in making that suggestion? I was really careful to leave it a suggestion and not a demand. I do feel like this girl contributed much into pushing me out of this church. Although she has said numerous times I can just go and its my choice to not. She has a point and I dont blame her for everything (like me not being able to plug into a different community, and i was a very willing participant in our relationship in spite of some (with hindsight) clear evidence she wasnt ready). I still care about this girl, there may be...ok there probably is a part of me that would want her back in spite of the way she has treated. Foolish perhaps, but sometimes your heart doesnt respond logically (I keep this in mind about her and going back to this other guy as well...helps me understand her a bit better). However, for the most part I just want peace and to be able to be around her in fellowship without feeling constantly hurt, rejected, and unloved. I think I have been able to forgive her in the sense that I dont seek any retribution and try to approach this with her best interest in mind as well as my own (and even this other guy). Lastly, much appreciation for anyone who managed to actually read through this. Mostly I just want to have a better sense if Im on the right track or way out of line.