Dating Leads To Fornication, True Or False?

Discussion in 'Bible Study' started by brodav9, Feb 8, 2013.

  1. it starts with the lips.
    Matt. 5:28 to look on a woman to lust has already commited the act.

    the marriage bed (only ) is undefiled. Heb. 13:4

    Does grace mean it is okay to break God's law? God will forgive sin through confession , but we must strive to overcome sin. We are not received if we are insincere. That would be sinning and then saying in our heart God will forgive. That will be a difficult thing to deal with if we are not sincere. God knows the heart.
  2. False if meant as an absolute. Though it is often true.
    Dating also leads to marriage, which I would assume is the desired result.

    I dated a girl for 5 years, 2 of those years we were engaged, and as far as I know she was a virgin the day she married (someone else).
  3. Why do I like you Glomung? LOL
  4. I dated back in the day. Hadn't really been exposed to any teaching on courtship vs. dating. In each case, it was with the hope of finding the woman that I would marry, so was I really courting and not knowing it? Some dating experiences offered temptations to do wrong, some didn't. Godly upbringing and the Holy Spirit kept me out of trouble in my youth. I guess if the purpose of dating is to just "be with" someone for a while, it leads to sin. If it is to get to know someone of the opposite sex with the hope of finding a husband or wife, I don't see it as a bad thing. But, proper boundaries need to be kept whether you date or court. Know your own weaknesses, and protect yourself and others from them.
  5. ! Why did you two break up, if you don't mind me asking...
  6. I dated girls, but it was to just to find out more about them for the purpose of finding a wife. I kept my hands and lips to myself. However, after writing to my wife for almost a year, I flew out to her home on the other side of the world to court her and marry her. I felt in my heart that I wanted her and knew her. I kissed her. I did feel guilty of lusting for her. I wanted to marry her quickly, for our passion in this courting process was high. We decided to not have intercourse, but wait until marriage. We did wait. My visit was only about 19 days there in the Philippines. We corresponded later by texting, emails, webcam, phone calls and letters for about 9 months until she was accepted through a Fiancée Visa through the US Embassy in Manila to come to the USA to marry me. Our communication was romantic, but not sexual in tone, as best as I can remember. We got married in the middle of my harvest season, less then 10 days after she came to the US. I didn't want to take the chance and try to wait till the end of the harvest season as to have a big wedding. We had a very simple wedding across the border. I love her very much. I thank God for her in my life.

    I would advise, even if you knew that you were to marry a girl, to not kiss, at least very much. My wife and myself regarded our waiting until marriage for intercourse as very important. If I knew what passions could be inflamed by just kissing, I would have held back.

    You can find the right person, even while courting, and re-frame from passionate kissing, but part of courting is to communicate that you chose her over all others. That communication is best done with a G rating and somehow supervised as well or don't find yourself totally alone with her, or you take the chance of going into lust and deep passion for one another.

    God knows our hearts. We trust his judgment. We confess ourselves before him. Our first son was conceived within a week of our marriage. Though the courting of humans is a forest, the intentions of the hearts must try to traverse it for the purpose of marriage; filling the longings admittedly within us. We do not want Satan to get the upper hand in our lives, by trying to be who we aren't (for many us this would be celibate our entire lives). Our passions for each of us runs uniquely different. It is best to have marriage if they are high. I definitely wanted to marry. God uses married people as well as unmarried for his Gospel to the world through Christ. Have a great day.
  7. It was a long distance relationship, I was in the US, she in Mexico. She got impatient waiting for me to finish college, and there was a host of other men pursuing her. Finally one of them must have made an offer she could not refuse.
  8. I'm really sorry to hear that Glomung...
  9. So was I at the time. Really missed her for years, but that was 30+ years ago.
    I've been married for 23 years at this point.
  10. My 37th anniversary is this Friday. My experience was a friendship, where she even followed me as I ministered the word. We were brought together in a unique way. We both were living in different cities, she was invited to a youth hay ride. She then joined the church.
    I was witnessing to 3 youth in my town. They invited to the same hay ride. surprise they were already saved.
    Kissing turned us on, we both were deep in love, we agreed we better get married.

    Us older folks had more ethical ideas. Today there is little restraint. The push through T.V. and everything else excites the desire to forget marriage. What really is going on is the world is programming the minds of people by emotions and interest in fun and happiness to the peak point of being addicted to things which then they can't control.
    It is a part of the plan as the devil knows he has little time.

    We can never become slaves to the world if we have praying believing hearts, and know how to excercise our own God given will. It takes discipline to follow and obey the Lord.
    unfortunately many feel that giving up some things, is to costly rather than follow Jesus
    completely. It is a my happiness first. It should be what can I give up to please you Lord.

    God will always give something better to substitute our sacrifices.
    less TV in order to see the wonderful hidden treasures for us in the word--my,my,my.
    later friends.
  11. Jesus was discussing adultery, not fornication in this passage. And no not all dating leads to fornication.
  12. (Humming, "I'm on the edge of glory") So Brother Dave, sibling to 9?, you think that Dating might be some gateway drug to orgies? A revealing viewpoint (crosses Dave off my potential Christian Mingle possibility). Back in the day, the guys used to call it "getting lucky." Twang. My laughter is from a place of Joy not Judgement. Still, if you had ever felt your very molecules merge with another's, you would better understand the divine in God's love for us. It is a great gift, badly abused.
  13. As Christians we need to differentiate between dating and courting.

    Best case scenario...1. Spot the perfect partner, 2. be-friend them and go out as a group of friends / family to places. If you still like her, 3. ask her father and advise the church elders you will be courting her. 4. After around 6-8 months of courting, before un-bearable temptation kicks in, get married.
  14. Probably the most over looked question is avoiding the appearance of evil. Dating and running around in pairs is a difficult thing. The biggest thought is when we know they may be married and yet seen alone with the opposite sex.

    We can use the statement the world uses , it's none of their business. Paul was very sensitive to this. He didn't want to talk with God one day and hear it said, because of you the person-or persons stumbled by what they saw you do.

    Few have feelings of what it will really be like down there. For eternity. There is a sense of that's their problem if they go to Hades. It takes a real heart change to have love and feelings for other people.

    Heroes every day get big views in the media. Some people in the world, really make a big deal about a heroes act of compassion. Yet others don't really care.

    In my early years wanted to kick petunias. it was when I really received Jesus ---for real---all the bible was found to be the truth. All the prophesies being fulfilled so quick are putting more fear of God in my heart. I run to him for strength not from him.

    My point here is not doing that which causes others to stumble. Only the Holy Spirit can drive this point home. My motives are to see as many as possible see through my life the way to eternal salvation.

    P.S. last week my wife and I had a wonderful anniversary, 37 years.
  15. Well, if dating leads to marriage, then yes, it leads to fornication. Which is fine, because fornication needs to be in a marriage and that's it.

    Honestly, I personally feel that in every romantic relationship, there will be temptation to fornicate. Because Satan knows the weaknesses of human flesh and will do anything in his power to destroy anything. This is why setting up boundaries are SO important to have in a relationship. If you know your weak points, then stay away from any stumbling block that will cause you to sin.

    Grace doesn't mean that it's okay to break God's law. In fact, the Word tells us:

  16. Good post sister. Personally I am sensitive to date rape and abuse to women. One testimony heard several years ago by a sister in a satelite church used to travel to with the Pastor. I ministered in music.
    The testimony was that a sister had a man sneak in her bed room at night . She was attacked but immediately she said the blood of Jesus over the man's mind. He went in a panic. he couldn't even think. He apologised to her and said I want to know your Jesus. He was born again.

    Those without Jesus are far more in number. It is a compassion thing to know they suffer. The reason I mention this is because it is bad enough for a attack. Just look what can happen on consent. Just today on the news a preacher shot his wife and killed her and then shot his daughter she survived. He tried to commit suicide stabbing himself in neck and chest. Today he went to prison. You see anything can happen even in a quote Christian relationship.

    Today my mother in law fell, thankfully not get hurt. it happened because she wouldn't listen to her care giver who was trying to get her into the safe chair. People pay for not listening. The devil is just waiting for a person to be disobedient.
    Then they are on play ground.

    Some still text while driving and say it can't happen to me. Just recent a school bus driven passed out and some others grabbed the wheel. He never thought he would pass out.

    Few know that God's instructions are really wisdom for their benefit. The grim reaper is waiting for his next victim.

    God bless and remember I love you when I share for your benefit. Why? because I am one of the most blessed Christians you will ever meet in your entire life----seriously, amen.

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