Dating advice

Discussion in 'College and Youth' started by James Clark, Oct 7, 2016.

  1. I am lucky to have a great best friend. We have been friends for nearly 8 years now, and we have so many similarities that it's creepy. I've stayed at her house, we have stayed up late watching romantic comedies, and we have cooked together and our parents are great friends along with our sisters. We can talk about anything and everything for hours.

    We've talked about dating before (not each other), and I feel like maybe she has given some hints that she would like to go out in the future. We both love Hallmark movies, and we always make fun of the guy who can't take a hint that the girl likes him! I don't want to be that guy, but I don't want to make things weird either. Neither of us are ready to date now, but I think maybe we should be honest about our feelings for each other (if there are any). I have had a "crush" on her for awhile, but were just friends now and she's someone that I respect and enjoy spending time with. So should I bring up the topic and risk making things weird for a little, or should I just leave it alone and wait until we are ready to date to talk about this? Again, we aren't ready to date, so it would be around a year before anything would really happen.
  2. Hi James,
    I think you pretty much answered your own question here by saying that the both of you are not ready to date.

    Now from my own experience I will give you several things to think on.

    That's good thinking you have and I would listen to it. :)

    With that said Sir, I would truly make time to seek God in this and find out His plans and follow them.

    You don't want to miss His best for each other any more then you want to run ahead of Him and mess up Both of your lives.

    I learned this the wrong and hard way So You Don't Have To.
    Cturtle likes this.
  3. If you don't mind me asking, did you talk to her or did she start dating someone else?
  4. No see I did it the wrong way. I jumped right in those waters without seeking the Father. Got married and was divorced with a screwed up head within 5 years.

    Sir I truly believe if you would simply take the time to seek God in this, He will show you what is best. This includes telling her as well.

    If you feel you just have to say something to her, then just simply tell her that your feelings toward her are getting much stronger and before you say or do anything you are going to soak it in prayer.

    If you still feel that way after seeking God the Father in this then I would suggest the both of you starting things off Together in Prayer.
    Cturtle likes this.
  5. As I was praying yesterday, the Lord reminded me of what I used to tell my children when they were younger.....concentrate on learning what it means to be a true friend and developing that friendship, then when your dating or married and you go through some rough times, the fact that your friends will keep you together and your relationship in good terms.

    I know that you have a lot of things going on in your mind and heart...but I agree with fish catcher that praying about it all and seeking God's desire for you in this will help you greatly. For He knows the future an d what will be the best way for you and her, and if you will seek (ask) Him what to do, things will work out better.

    This I can say also from experience, for it is what I didn't do and it caused me a lot of pain later on down the road.

    Fish Catcher Jim likes this.
  6. Sorry to reply so late, but it was a Gilmore Girls kind of night... ;P

    Thanks for all of the suggestions! I suppose we should talk about it. Once, we were talking about dating and she specifically told me to be direct and honest (just with relationships in general). It's just a touchy subject for us as we are both Christians and neither of us have dated or ever even thought of it seriously. Neither of us buy into the "I'm just dating because I want to have fun" mentality, we take it seriously. Any other tips on talking to her about this? We've talked about everything, so I don't think that it will make things awkward, I just don't exactly know how to bring up the subject.
  7. You're 15 brother, don't worry about girls for a while. As you said, you're not ready to date, so there is your answer, and I'll take it a step further to say maybe you should take a step back from the Intimate friendship that you have. The late nights, deep conversations and bonds that you build are a very dangerous thing to build up with somebody during a time in your life when you are not ready for marriage. It causes feelings that have no future, potential hurt in the future and opportunities for sexual temptations that no man and woman are immune to. Group settings are fine, but there is no biblical reason to hangout with a girl 1 on 1 ever until you are married. This is playing with fire.

    Here's my advice;
    Spend copious amounts with God in prayer and in His word. Become knowledgeable and disciplined in the christian faith.
    Find a married man, older than you and mature in his faith to disciple you. Meet with him on a regular basis, studying the bible, working, and have him guide you in what it means to be a biblical man and leader of a household
    Get involved in spreading the Gospel, go cross culturally on missions trips.
    Get a job, any type of job
    Finish school

    After this, then you may be ready to start pursuing a girl you are interested in. I only speak from personal experience and shortcomings in my life hoping that you do not fall in the same areas I did.
  8. Thanks Klub!

    It really just isn't that way between us, which is why I was afraid to tell her how I feel. I think that I will wait a while since we both have agreed that dating before you can even drive is foolish and that we aren't ready to date at this point in our lives. My cousin actually started dating his now fiancé when he was sixteen (they are waiting until they are out of college to get married though), and they dated for 5 or so years. I know a couple of people who dated all through high school and college, and they are now married. I believe that they were together for 8 years. My uncle and aunt always say that they started dating in 4th grade, but didn't decide to get married until 5th grade ;)! I'm going to keep praying about it and we will see where God leads me!
    Cturtle likes this.

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