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Dating a Girl with a Past

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Live4Him, Nov 22, 2010.

  1. Hello!
    Recently I became interested in this girl on our campus and am starting to develop feelings for her. She has all of the attributes that I admire save one key problem, she has a past with men. She was sexually abused as a child and it led to a period of skewed perspectives on relationships which eventually culminated into her having sex several times with different men. Currently, she recognizes that what she did was wrong and that she severely compromised herself in a way that is not consistent with her faith (she is a practicing Christian) and is working on deepening her faith. Here lies my question, however, I have always had the idea that sex is a unification of two fleshes, hence why it is so sacred in marriage, but does this mean that she is still united with those men in her past? Is considering dating her moral from a Christian standpoint? Is it extremely unwise? I do believe that she has been forgiven on this issue (due to her repentence) but that still does not eliminate the fact that the previous relationships did happen, or does it? What are some specific Bible verses concerning this issue?
  2. How did Jesus view and treat women who had sex with lots of men? Jesus even wrote something interesting on the ground, and He didn't condemn her, even though He was God and could have, He didn't. Do likewise as Jesus would do if Jesus was in your shoes.

    Follow these verses, follow what Jesus did and taught:

    John 8:6-12

    6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
    But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
    9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
    11 “No one, sir,” she said.
    “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

    And if she has sincerely repented and feels remorse, then remember, she is a new creation, new mind, new heart and she is not eternally connected with those men, and she is justified in God's eyes, which means, "Just as if she had never sinned"

    The question is...how do you view her now and into the future? Can you cope with it and not be haunted with what she did in her past? Some men can cope with planning a future with a woman as such, but many men cannot. How do you feel about it? Are you able to view her as God views her?
  3. Live4Him...I've seen that username before. WFC, perhaps?

    If one is to apply the idea of unification of two fleshes, one would have to apply it to her first abuser, all others being adultery with respect to the initial abusive relationship. This seems absurd, to me. I believe that the Biblical idea of "one flesh" is something of which sex is only one aspect. If she has not married any of those men before God (or even before men, as it were) then there are some important elements missing to the "unification of flesh."

    Having repented in the true sense, remorse and turning away from error, she is, in my opinion, free to date and marry. Her past experiences will factor into her emotions and perceptions which will have to be taken into consideration and will color her relationships to some degree. This is something you will have to deal with at some point. On the other hand, plenty of virgins enter into marriage with distorted perceptions and baggage of various sorts. And, I would submit, none of us really knows what we're getting into when we get married anyway.

    I realize you asked for Scripture and I have given you opinion. I will do some Scriptural review and if it leads me to change my mind on the above, I'll get back to you.
  4. I understand your concern but if you met me and got to know me you would probaley act just like most of my friends.See I was heavy in to S.M.,Occultism,Satanism,Racism,black majic plus I was a sever meth addict and a psychic.Most pastors who know me love me a great deal but most of them said Tim I can only see the scares on your body from all that garbage but I cant see you being that wicked.See I hated God and every thing about God to the point I hated christians for many years.Infact my nick name Natas for which you can see is spelled Satan back wards.If you ever find a person with a past of any kind ask God to give you wisdom about what he wants to do in this relationship.See some christians still 20 years later still throw stones at me but thats ok because Jesus Christ loves me and he is the only one I have to impress.While some christians sit back and mock me for my past my minestry is leading people to Christ threw the Holy Spirit helping me.So if you find any one with any type of past dont run or be fearful because that person could turn out to be the biggest blessing in your life.
  5. I became a Christian at the age of 33. I am the only one in my entire family who has accepted Jesus as Lord and Saviour.

    Before I became a Christian, I was into Satanism and the occult. I walked around the streets with an upside down cross in my ear and used to tell everyone I am a Satanist. I got into the symbolism and rituals of Satanism. I was also a drug user and alcoholic and drug dealer. I used to manage whorehouses and strip clubs.

    When I joined the Church, most people wanted nothing to do with me. A couple of girls I began talking to in the Church were warned by numerous people to stay away from me as I am apparently "dangerous". I felt very lonely in Church because everyone was distant from me. I used to think to myself that they don't truly believe in the power of God to transform a person, because they never viewed me as a child of God, they still viewed me as the old person I used to be in my past.

    I am rough around the edges, and probably always will be due to my past life, but I have a heart of gold now and am a new creation. I cannot even walk on an ant, such has my heart softened.

    I have grown to understand the importance of keeping my eyes on Jesus and not let those religious christians affect me or make me sad.
  6. WOW,we have allot in commen,if you dont mind go to my web sight and get my e mail address and lets e mail one another now and than because I know another former satanist that stays in contact with me.So if you dont mind,lets e mail eash other now and than ok.ThanksTim
  7. Remember this always,it was the religious spirit that came upon the pharisees to want to crucify Christ.

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