Hi, I am feeling very vey confused these days. My ex bf and I, we broke up after 3 years together. He was not christian but he used to accompany me sometimes to church. He wanted to quit our relation for crazy selfish reasons. This hurts me really a lot. The last time I went to church, I could not really pray but keep asking myself why this happened. I could not live alone, so I met another guy quickly after one month of my separation. I really feel loved with the new guy. He is so nice at heart. Of course he is also not christian. We spent 5 months together but we keep quarelling a lot. Even if we feel that we love each other a lot, at the same time we feel we have so many differences and we never agree on so many things. My problem is that I use to work a lot, and my work life balance is a problem. On his side, he has 2 kids and since I am not yet a mother, I am not used to the kids and I often feel very jealous or that they are his priority. I truly love him because he is so nice at heart, always helping others, I love his presence but at the same time I feel annoyed very often. We both keep asking whether this relation will work, should we keep trying though we quarel and upset each other a lot though not intentionally. I havent been to church since 5 months, as I still feel so confused in my head with this new relation even though I feel that I love him a lot and that he love me also. One week before, I was so annoyed and left his place. But then for the whole week I could not sleep, I was really too sad, I could not work, I am unable to control myself, but just sleep the whole day. I realised that my feeling is too strong. I dont like changes. I like to keep my relation. I needed him around (even an sms from him would give me comfort). I thought i would just take a break, go back to church, take care of my spiritual life again, but no, I was unable to go to church either this sunday. My heart and my head are too confused and sad. I have no family here where I am living, and I even cant share much of my pain with my family to avoid them being worried for me. I am always worried about my future and feel that relation, wedding, a baby is not the gift of life for me. I want to go back to the guy and tell him that I really love him and I am not against his kids (though I am having trouble to adapt) and at the same time, Im thinking if I should let go of this relation as we quarel so much though it is not intentional and we end up hurting each other often.