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Church Bulletin

Discussion in 'Humor' started by GodSpeaks, Feb 2, 2010.

  1. Church Bulletin

    [These announcements actually appeared in church bulletins]

    Don't let worry kill you. Let the church help!

    Thursday night potluck. Prayer and medication to follow.

    This Sunday being Easter we will ask Mrs. Lewis to please come an lay an egg on the altar.

    Weight Watchers meets at 7pm on Wednesday. Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.

    The Senior choir invites any member of the church who enjoys sinning to join.

    For those who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
  2. LOLOLOL...That is too funny.....
  3. If you like those these are better. ROFL!


    The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

    The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

    The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

    The Peacemaking Meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

    Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

    Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."

    "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."

    Miss Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

    Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

    The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water"; the sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
  4. rofl...lol

  5. I thought this was hilarious

    The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water"; the sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
  6. Thank you so much for sharing these. I must say, I needed to laugh. I really miss not being able to participate on the forum like I use to. I've been so busy. Thank you for putting a smile on my face today. Those are too funny.

    God bless,

  7. Praise the Lord for blessing you with joy tonight :D
  8. :smiley10::smiley10:
  9. Hey psalm91
    I didn't know you had a twin!

  10. I don't, it doublely funny :smiley90:
  11. I know.
    I just couldn't resist saying that. (Seeing you there smiling --and your twin next to you :D )

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