Church Acceptance for Sinners

Discussion in 'Answers' started by Unregistered, Jan 14, 2009.

  1. Church Acceptance for Sinners

    My only wife of more than thirty years and I are life-long Christians and attend church regularly. Recently we began attending a new (to us) church and have enjoyed and been inspired by the teachings and the praise music. About 3 weeks ago, the pastor's message was based on I Corinthians 5. He really helped me to understand what Paul was saying in this passage. At the end of the pastor's message, he used an example of homosexuality to make the point of not associating with immoral "Brothers." He told the members of the audience if they were gay, they were welcome as long as they were trying to "go straight." However, they were not welcome if they professed to be Christian and were not trying to change their sexual preference and/or lifestyle. I agreed with that even though the way it was said seemed a bit harsh.

    About a week ago, our 20 year old son, the youngest of three children, through tears announced to us that he is gay. As a young teenager he gave his life to Christ and was baptized, so we were not ready for that announcement. For the past 5 years he has been fighting and stuggling with his feelings because he knows what God and the Bible has to say about homosexuality. He dated girls during those years, but could never feel any attraction to them even though they had feelings for him. He has also been conflicted knowing how our local churches are mostly unaccepting of the gay community. Needless to say, my wife and I have also been struggling with our thoughts and feelings these past days. Even though we do not approve of the gay lifestyle, we still love our son and want to help him, especially to have him stay with Christian fellowship.

    For us to go back to the previously mentioned church would be uncomfortable and it appears our son, and perhaps his parents, would not be welcome. This bothers us very much and especially so when it seems one particular group of people "living in sin" is singled out from the rest. In the congregation we know of couples in which one spouse divorced his/her previous spouse to be able to marry the current spouse. And in a group of more than 500, there must be more. Jesus, in Matthew 19:9, stated to divorce and remarry for that reason was a sin. Are not those couples who continue to live that way and call themselves Christians also ones not to be associated with and therefore not welcome at that church? Is there a difference that I cannot see? Is that why Christian leaders seem to condemn homosexuality more than adultery? Am I wrong to think that if the same message was given to divorced and remarried couples, there would be an unacceptable drop in church membership?

    I truly wished to pose this directly to the local church, but there was no way to ask and be answered anonamously. Your response will be very much appreciated and accepted.


    Struggling Dad
  2. Well, the pastor just cast the first stone.

    My heart is with you and your family, and you give your son a big hug from this Christian and tell him he is welcome at my church exactly the way he is. We aren't here to judge but love our neighbor as ourselves.
  3. This is a very complicated situation.

    I would suggest you contact Exodus International. They can get you in contact with people who know first hand the struggles of homosexuality.

    In the meantime,
    be sure your son knows you love him just as much now as you did before he told you.
    be sure he knows God still loves him, also.
    remember, Jesus did not say, "Change your life and when you are worthy you may come to me." No, Jesus called the sinners to himself.
    Matthew 9:11-13

    When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?"On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." - PassageLookup: Romans 7

    God's love is not dependent on our being perfect. Our salvation is not dependent upon our being perfect.
    Romans 5:8

    "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."

    May God bless your family

  4. Hello, I feel for you. You need Godly council; do not go to the world for help. You are in a tough situation, and you must go to the Word of God for your answers. We have a sin nature in us, yet we are given a new Spirit that wants to obey God, and if we are children of God then He will discipline us if we disobey Him-and we will want to come back very quickly.

    "They will walk after the LORD, He will roar like a lion; Indeed He will roar And His sons will come trembling from the west." Hosea 11:10

    "What do you think? If any man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go and search for the one that is straying?" Matthew 18:12

    It is not a sin for him to struggle against this. God gives a way out. Maybe your son should be celebate.

    "Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen." Jude 1:24-25

    May God bless you, give you strenght, love, and wisdom in this matter. Guard your heart and know that we all have to struggle against sin, and if you think you stand take heed lest you fall. We are to help pull our brothers up, and your son should be seeking some Christian counciling in this, and submit to the authority of those watching over him. We belong to the Lord, and the day is coming when there shall be no sin, and everything will be made new. Come quickly Lord, and guard our hearts from anything that would try to take away first place in our wandering hearts, o God keep us true to You, in Jesus Name, amen.

    Hebrews 12:13 Bible Commentary
  5. Did not the preacher say, as you said yourself:

    "He told the members of the audience if they were gay, they were welcome as long as they were trying to "go straight."

    So it all depends on your sons Attitude to His sin. Is he rebellious against the Word of God or is he repentant? If he is a repentant sinner than i see no reason why they should reject Him or why he should be rejected.

    It is not so much that it is singled out, it is mentioned more because the greater society is pushing and promoting it as being good. Things like Adultery and stealing and such are generally accepted in the greater community as not being good. Therefore there is less need to mention them.

    Even if there is inconsistencies. There sins do not justify your sons sins.

    Once again if there is injustices and inconsistencies within a church it is irrelevant to the eternal standard set by God. Just because they may fall down in one area, does not make their correct stance in another area less valid.

    Stand true to the Word of God and Hope your son stands true to the Word of God. Pray for Gods intercession in the matter. I wish well for you and your son. Only one sin is unforgivable and that is the sin of blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, take hope in that and stand firm for the truth and encourage your son to also stand firm and flee the devil who seeks his eternal ruin.

    All Praise The Ancient Of Days
  6. My brother in law and sister in law have a son in his 20s that was in a Cristian drug halfway house. The son was caught on the phone talking to his boyfriend.[yes he is gay,my brother and sister in law are Christians, don't approve of him being gay,but are more concerned with his drug use!] The people over the half way house told him to leave and not come back till he was ready to quit being gay. Well he was doing great ,as fas as getting off of and staying off drugs! Something he has not done in years! He looked so bright eyed and was very friendly and talkitive at Christmas! The first time I have ever seen him this way. It seems to me that his not doing drugs was the most and first priority of this very expensive place! His being gay could have been an issue or not at some other time! I am afraid this setback could run him back to drugs!
  7. It is really difficult for any one Christian or none to give you the answers you are seeking. The only counsel that anyone should be giving is to tell you to seek the Lord and his word for guidance. Always, keeping in mind how the Lord feels about his house. Isaiah chapter 1 will give you an example. You could also go to to look up subject searches. For example: flesh, lust, fornication, heart, ect. It's important that you study God's word for guidance and ask him for wisdom. Ultimately he is the one that all of us will give an account to. And his word is very clear in these areas.
  8. Either sinners are allowed to attend, or we built all these buildings that nobody can use.

    Do they do the same to people who smoke? That would only be consistent.

    I pray the way you've been treated is fixed, and I pray your family is very blessed, accepted, and comforted in the future.

    Video - Do You Love Gay People? - A Love Issue -

    Truly it's a love issue. A lack of God which is too much reality in this world, so how could they not allow you in a place where seeking God is primary? God's love "has the tendency" to heal, deliver, and so undeservedly bless us. May He come to you in spite of the ways these people are rejecting you.
  9. Either sinners are allowed to attend, or we built all these buildings that nobody can use.

    Do they do the same to people who smoke? That would only be consistent.

    I pray the way you've been treated is fixed, and I pray your family is very blessed, accepted, and comforted in the future.

    Video - Do You Love Gay People? - A Love Issue -

    Truly it's a love issue. A lack of God, so how could they not allow you in a place where seeking God is primary? God's love "has the tendency" to heal, deliver, and so undeservedly bless us. May He come to you in spite of the ways these people are rejecting you.
  10. The point Ive considered is the part about "Singling out" the type of sinner...We're all some kind of sinner...maybe a thief, maybe a cheat,.....maybe a killer, or a drunk, or a dope addict....or anything sinful pretty much.
    If it wasnt for us sinners(or your son) we would have no need for Jesus. Does this preacher have any idea how many people in the congegration are "Hungover"?..or checkin' out the thighs on that chick in the 5th row up?.Or wonderin' how long its gonna take him tonite to find that "bump" of cocaine?
    Gays are here to stay...and so am I..and so are each and every one of us!
    The question to ask is pretty simple....How would Jesus react if your son walked in on one of His sermons?
    If your son is gay...well...dont pay too much attention to your preacher( as mentioned, he did cast the first stone).AS LONG AS YOUR SON, AND THE REST OF US LOVE ALL PEOPLE THE BEST WE CAN, LIKE JESUS WANTS US TO, and do our best to follow Jesus ways, everythings gonna be cool.
    Oh,....I dont go to church..No reason, no excuse...I just dont go........But, I DO know WHO JESUS is and what he's done for me.
    Your son will be ok and you'll be fine...and, in your heart, forgive the preacher for his mistake at pointing one sin out. Hes got his own issues, I'm sure!

    your friend,
  11. Homosexuality is indeed against God's Will for humanity. We should never compromise this truth when dealing with those who struggle with this particular lust. If we do so, we do discredit to Jesus, His work on the cross to redeem us, and to all those who have yet to come into a relationship with Him. As you have pointed out, however, many classify some sins as livable, while others are marks of Cain.

    I also know of people who have divorced to seek another spouse. This hasn't been done because their spouse has committed adultery, but because they are unhappy or just don't feel love for them anymore. This sin is no more God's Will than homosexuality or theft or lying. Yet, it seems in the Age of Divorce, this is treated with great passiveness. Fortunately, God is not passive when it comes to sin.

    What do you need to do now? Get your thoughts and feelings off comparing one sin to another, and on warring against this sin which has assaulted your family. Make no mistake, the Devil doesn't just want your son to pursue sin, he also has designs on making all of you stumble and fall. You are in a great battle, as is your son. The battle is against the Devil and the sin which is "besetting" him. The weapons of this battle are not natural, they are empowered and given by God to overcome this sin.

    First, refortify your faith. Refocus your heart and mind on Jesus. Make certain you have left no door open for the Devil to enter in and destroy your love for the Lord and the hope you have in Him.

    Second, as has been said, make certain your son knows you love him. Make certain he understands God isn't against him, but against sin, which seeks to destroy us all. Don't compromise, but, as with any situation where someone is "overtaken in any trespass" approach him and this problem with humility. Set your heart on restoring him to the Lord.

    Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. ~Galations 6:1
  12. One should never turn away a penitent heart. We were all once vile and wretched yet Christ accepted and changed us.
    My prayers are with you and the family, that God may shower his grace upon you.
    We know in our most honest moments we cannot please God if not entirely dedicated to him. Its easy for me to say lay aside every burden and kill the flesh. Then again its not because I was a slave to lust in my youth until God's grace entered my heart and sparked a change. I pray God may do the same for your son and fill him with the joy of the Lord which cannot be equalled by any relationship or possession the world has to offer.

    In much love

Share This Page