Christmas humor

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Jeffin, Dec 25, 2006.

  1. Christmas humor

    Why Santa's Asking For A Raise

    10. The hours, the weather, the trend toward smaller chimneys.
    9. Nike won't give him a lucrative side-contract.
    8. Reindeer and elves have unionised, driving up his cost.
    7. New tax on flying sleighs.
    6. Insurance for flying a sleigh has tripled over the past two
    5. Needs extra cash to cover off-season gambling losses.
    4. Air traffic controllers demanding higher kickbacks.
    3. Cost of living increase at the North Pole.
    2. Children don't leave as many cookies as they used to.
    1. The Mrs. told him to.

    Flight Test For Santa

    Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal
    Aviation Administration (FAA). It was shortly before Christmas
    when the FAA examiner arrived.

    In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all
    the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his
    paperwork was in order.

    The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the
    reindeer harnesses, the landing gear and Rudolph's nose. He
    painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations
    for the sled's enormous payload.

    Finally, they were ready for the checkride.

    Santa got in and fastened his seat belt and shoulder harness and
    checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to
    Santa's surprise, a shotgun.

    "What's that for?" asked Santa incredulously.

    The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this,
    but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."

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