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Christian spouse...One or Any?

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Mykuhl, May 2, 2015.

  1. Hello,

    I would like to address something that I have been noticing for some time now. There seems to be a common way of thinking that says that God has one particular person lined up for you to marry. That there is one perfect person prepared just for you. I don't know if I believe this to be true since I don't see this idea presented in the bible. What I see in the bible is: a believer should only marry another believer, that they should not be unequally yoked with another believer that is living in sin, and that they should not marry another believer that has been divorced unless it was over adultery. Other than those reasons it appears that you can marry anyone. It does not say or even seems to imply that God has a particular person prepared for you. I believe since God is love and we are supposed to walk in love...therefore making it an action, that we can choose who to love, thus choose who to marry.

    What are your thoughts and beliefs on this?
  2. Speaking from my personal experience (and from having talked with others who had similar experiences), when you meet THE person, the one that you are meant to be with, you know, because God tells you. My wife and I both knew immediately - it was love at first sight for both of us, and we married 6 months later (we have now been married for 34 years). I believe that we were meant for each other. However, I don't know of any specific scripture that says that God has created a particular mate for each of us. But I do believe that God will let you know when you have found "the one" because I have experienced that, and know others have too.
    Juk, Fish Catcher Jim, Arrie03 and 2 others say Amen and like this.
  3. Hmmm interesting. Thank you for your answer.
  4. Actually, now that I think about it...there is an account in the bible that seems to illustrate that idea. The story in Genesis about Abraham's sending out his servant to find a wife for Isaac. It appears that God had Rebekah picked out for him. But other than that it seems to me that the bible teaches that it is better not to marry if one is able to do so. Jesus seems to teach this idea in Matthew 19:10-12 and Paul in 1Corinthians 7:1-2, 6-9, 25-28, and 32-35.

    I think the reason behind this teaching is because earthly marriage is a type of the marriage we have in heaven...that is to the Lord Jesus, since we are the bride of Christ.
  5. I dont really know from my own experience, but it does seem, going by accounts from the Adam and Eve story in genesis that, woman was made for man, cos she was made from man. Eve was made from Adams rib, she was flesh of his flesh, bone from his bone.

    This would account from some kind of attraction you would feel like a tingling in your bones when you meet someone right for you? You may see so many of the opposite sex, eligible, bit none of them give you that....need to be with that person, like beside them at all times.

    With believers...Im not sure how this works but it just seems you just KNOW like Adam knew Eve was meant for him the instant he woke up and saw her there. Thats what people say anyway theres no doubt. Everything just fits? Unequal yoking would suggest something doesnt fit right. It could be very attractive but the wrong kind of attraction. i dont know if that just means satan comes between people and destroys relationships, or whther thats genuinely an imperfection in the unbeliever making it hard for the believer if married to them...since Jesus is not the glue holding that marriage together?
  6. Or marrow, I mean.
  7. I think we need look no further than Eve.... God didn't parade a long line of women past Adam and say "Pick one that makes you happy" - He created Eve for Adam...

    But - just because this is the person God chose for you - don't assume it's going to be easy... There are a lot of great truths that God reveals through marriage - and many of these truths are the hard ones.... Like - for example, the pain of having folks "Throw rocks" at you - always grumbling and accusing you as Israel did to God in the wilderness.....
    Ravindran likes this.
  8. Thanks for the input so far.
  9. I fully agree that God has someone specifically picked out for you. In my life i learned the hard way. I married the first time for all the wrong reasons (sometimes one can talk themselves into something that they know is not right, because of lack of patience or fear of the unknown) ....and now i know that God has led me to the right one. And even though he is the right one, it has not been easy to learn to walk in love and forgiveness when those times that the devil wants to get in there and cause strife.
  10. I agree that it is best to let God lead you to the person you to marry, but if we look the majority of scripture on the subject of marriage, it doesn't appear like God has only one particular person picked out for you, and every other person is the wrong choice. He doesn't seem to make the choice that vital beyond certain guidelines. What I am seeing is that God could lead us to anyone that fills His requirements as a fitting spouse.
  11. Sjoo, when I first read your title, my eyes fumbled it and it became:
    Christian spouse...One or Many?
  12. #12 Mykuhl, May 13, 2015
    Last edited: May 13, 2015
    LOL! I can now see how you could make that mistake at first glance.

    No, I am not advocating polygamy [emoji14]
  13. I'll tell you a little about my experiences and then let you know what I think...

    When I was in the Air Force, I became engaged to a wonderful young lady that worked in the post chaplain's office. She was (and I am confident that she still is) a wonderful Christian woman. I got really concerned with our future (arranging joint assignments was going to be an issue, since we were in different services, as well as other things that one thinks about when preparing for marriage. I got a little (_very_) anxious about settling these things (and yes that was a dreadful lack of trust on my part). I can remember helping prepare for Sunday school for youngsters on post when I noticed she was not wearing her ring. That afternoon she gave it back and asked that we step back.

    About a year later, I took pictures at her wedding to another Christian man. And no, I am sure that he was not the reason she broke up with me. Having me take wedding pictures was her way of saying how much she thought of me as a brother in Christ, and I realized that at the time, but that was a real trying day for me.

    Since it was difficult for me to attend post services, I started going to church off base. There I met the woman that did become my wife. We were married 37 years ago, and we are still very committed to each other.

    So, I am very pleased with the way things worked out. I see no profit in wondering if the "one that got away" was the one for me. Actually, I don't see it any more profitable to speculate whether the prior engagement was God's way of brining me and my wonderful wife together.

    I do know that I have made a mess of things many times in my life, and that God has pulled me through in spite of my limitations, but that is not to say that my limitations were part of His plan for my life.
    Euphemia, Arrie03 and Mykuhl says Amen and like this.
  14. Actually, I thought it might be about being celibate for life :confused:. I would really doubt if many of our members were Shakers (if you don't get the reference, Shakers are a sect, or offshoot of Quakers known for their shaking in prayer and for advocating lifelong celibacy (n) ).
  15. Thank you for sharing your story and thoughts.
  16. As i have not done any research in the Bible on the fact that God chooses one "right" person for everyone, it surely could be open to interpretation. But i agree with the others who have said Rebecca and Eve, were good examples. I think in the end...it is all just a knowing from the Holy Spirit. Knowing the wrong one, or the lack of peace one has regarding a certain person, is definitely something to listen to. Jim can vouch for that as well.
    Blessings to you! I pray God gives you peace one way or the other.
    Siloam and Mykuhl say Amen and like this.
  17. Thank you. Either way though, I will be following the leading of the Holy Spirit when the time comes. I was more curious then anything else.
    Cturtle and Arrie03 say Amen and like this.
  18. Who ever seeks, finds, and every one who asks, receives. We can either find a wife the fleshly way, or God's way. It was the custom of the Jews that the father who would select a wife for his son, and not the son finding his own wife. Even the bride of Christ was chosen by the Father for his Son. As the scripture says....

    Mar 10:8.. and the two shall become one flesh.' So they are no longer two but one flesh.
    Mar 10:9.. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate."

    There are many many marriages today where God did not join together two people for marriage.
    Mykuhl and Cturtle say Amen and like this.
  19. I am not one to believe in predestiny... But when I met my husband in person it was love at first sight for sure.
    I had other failed relationships, but they never fit quite right, it was as if it was a puzzle piece that was forced in.
    No I found my match, the peice of the puzzle that fits just right.
  20. Some never get a chance to marry o_Oo_O So I don't think every person has a partner made just for them. At the same time, I believe Lord will lead his child to the most appropriate partner when we seek and trust in Him. I had an arranged marriage. but we are made for each other. I can never find a better person as wife even if someone gave me my entire life time.

    Not to derail the topic, I personally know people who misuse the verse that CCW quoted. They claim it is okay to divorce since it is actually not something that God joined. So divorce and marry again, thinking God is joining them with someone else.

    Mar 10:9.. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate."
    Mykuhl likes this.

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